Freedom Fighters League of the Exiled

I Can't Do It

"Bullshit," he shook his head.

"While you start the demonstrations I'm going to go talk to Eren for a second excuse us," I said awkwardly pulling Eren by his arm into another room to stop us from disrupting anymore.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Eren asked.

Well, I was thinking you wouldn't find out until they called me up. I thought then again like hell would I actually tell him that I don't have a death wish. "Well, I have experience with mostly everyone's powers and I have a higher pain tolerance and Hanji is standing by," I said listing off the reasons nervously not wanting to look him in the eye.

Eren just shook his head. "You're already injured and you think this is a good idea."

"Hey, this is actually safer than what I just did," I said, raising an eyebrow. "You were perfectly fine with me fighting Pixis without him holding back, but this is where you draw the line?" I asked, making my point.

"That's because I know Pixis wouldn't purposely try and hurt you, however, powers are a little less predictable. Not everyone has perfect control of them." Shit, that's also a good point. I need another reason that this is a good idea... There isn't one.

"I see your point, but I will be fine okay baby? You have to trust me."

"You keep saying that like I don't trust you. I do trust you, Levi, I don't trust everyone else. I mean I know they won't try and hurt you on purpose, but you never know what could happen."

He sounded genuinely scared and I couldn't blame him.

"I know, but I'll try and be extra careful if anything starts to go wrong I'll put a stop to it."

Eren stayed quiet for a long time just staring at me. His mind was all over the place and his thoughts were too hard to follow. "I will only go through with this if I can do it with you. Besides two test dummies are better than one," he said before mumbling "emphasis on the dummies."

I wanted to say no and tell him it was way too dangerous for him but before I could open my mouth I stopped myself and realized that I sounded like such a hypocrite. How could I go through with something so reckless and tell him to trust me but then immediately tell him that it's too reckless for him to do? "Okay," I nodded. If that was his condition then okay. I'm not going to fight it because if I do I'll sound like a hypocrite. Not to mention we did make a promise that dangerous missions would be done together, this isn't exactly the same thing but he could definitely argue that it was.

He nodded and we walked back into the room. It looks like Reiner just finished his demonstration. Pixis walked up with Shadis trailing behind him and asked us what happened and we told him we would both do it. I think he was expecting Eren to talk me out of it not join me in this reckless activity.

"Of course," he sighed. He wasn't even going to try and talk us out of it, but he looked like we just took ten years off his life. "We are going to try and get done with the people who can get by just using Sasha's doubles first," he said, turning back around to continue with calling the next person up.

"Excuse me," Shadis whispered glaring at Pixis, "what do you mean of course," he asked. "I was against this when it was just one of them, but two?"

"Shadis they will be fine," he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We will be standing by to make sure nothing goes wrong. Besides Hanji is already on standby.

"Still," Shadis mumbled before rolling his eyes. "Whatever." He moved farther away from Pixis as they called up the next person.

We all went through a run-through of our powers, those of us who could get by on a power demonstration on the doubles. The rest waited until the end. I did part of my demonstration on a double and then realized that the rest of my demonstration would have to be done on Eren. this was a bad idea after all. I should have just given up rather than letting him go through with this.

"How many left?" Nanaba asked Pixis for a headcount. He looked at all the names he had written down and gave her a number. "Thirteen," he said before showing her the list and calling us over to show us the list. The first name on the list was mine.

"Oh," Eren whispered and I think he realized that I would have to use my powers on him. "Well we should probably get that one over first," he sighed.

"We don't have to. We know how my powers work," I mumbled to him. The last time I used my powers on him in a bad way I gave him a panic attack.

"It's fine," Eren said, giving me a kiss on the cheek, "Besides it wouldn't be the first time we had to do this," he said, giving me a nod.

We took a deep breath and walked into the circle. "This is going to be so cool, I've seen Levi totally incapacitate people with his power before," I heard a voice say and I couldn't even place who said it.

It was a little weird having all eyes on us. We were used to having a little bit of an audience when we spar, but everyone was here just watching me waiting for me to use my powers. Waiting for me to hurt Eren. I don't think I can do this. I don't want to do this.

My eyes dropped to the ground and I couldn't focus. I didn't even notice Eren leave the circle.

"Hey, do you think you can clear the room for a moment?" I asked Pixis.

He gave a nod and told everyone to follow him into the common area. He was dismissing the people who didn't have to wait here and telling the people who still had to demonstrate their abilities to wait at the tables. After everyone had cleared the room I walked back over to Levi who was on his knees and having trouble breathing.

Rather than demonstrate his emotions on me like he was going to he held them all in not letting any slip out and instead overwhelmed himself.

I sat on the floor next to him and spoke quietly, "baby, it's okay, look at me." I said seeing if he could even hear me. He was unresponsive. "I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder okay?" I said giving him a warning. I had to snap him out of whatever emotional spiral he had put himself in.

I lightly put my hand on his shoulder and instantly one of his hands shot up to hold mine. "I'm sorry I can't do it," he finally forced out.

"I know baby, I know," I said scooting towards him and wrapping my arms around him. He instantly welcomed the embrace and held me tightly.

"This is so stupid, I'm sorry."

"It's not stupid," I gave him a kiss on the cheeks, "you just don't want to hurt me, I think it's sweet."

"Sorry to interrupt," Pixis said reentering the room. He walked over and kneeled down next to us. "We know your power well enough that you don't have to demonstrate, however, if you two still want to demonstrate you can but it doesn't have to be a bad emotion you put on him, any emotion works." Pixis smiled before standing up and giving us both a hand. We gratefully took them and he helped us off the ground.

"Okay," Levi mumbled. "Any emotion?" he asked double-checking.

"Any emotion," Pixis nodded. Shadis and Nanaba had come back in quietly. I heard them talking about how they will just call people in so no one else has the pressure of being watched by everyone.

"Okay, I can do that," Levi said turning towards me. He gave me a soft smile and I felt so much love surround me. Before I could tell him how cute that was I erupted in laughter.

"I love seeing you smile." I heard him say as he walked up and grabbed my hands. I stopped laughing and he stopped pushing the overwhelming happiness on me and instead just left the feeling of pure love.

"That was a good demonstration," Nanaba said with a big smile as we walked out of the circle.

"Let's get on with the rest of them," Levi nodded

I had to agree, but not before whispering in his ear, "After we are done with this I really want to show you how much I love you too."

He gave me a really big smile before whispering back, "I'd love that."