The Mistake | Colby Brock

Chapter Seventy Five-Broken Hearts

Jordan's pov
  I laid in the crappy hospital bed, wondering if i made the right choice or not. I did, right? Why didn't it feel like it? Why did i just want to disappear again, in my own abyss of sadness and regret. Maybe i did need Colby, and saying those things to him might've just pushed him away for good. Maybe pushing him away was for the best, i mean, David got mad i was with someone right? So technically i'm helping him if anything. Then why the hell did i feel like such a bitch. I groaned, throwing the pillow over my face, wanting to scream so loud the building shook. "I hate my life" i extended, letting the pillows absorb my tears. The energy in the room changed, making me shift for a second. "Hi Sammy." I muffled, pulling the pillow from my face and plastering on a small smile. He sat down where Colby was previously sat, and nodded. "You did what was best for both of you." He reassured me, of course he already knew. "Then why doesn't it feel like it?" I asked, begging him for the answers i was almost positive i couldn't get. He shrugged and thought for a second. "Because you two care about each other very deeply. But you both needed to heal, it only took someone with guts to do something about it." He said smiling. Fuck, he was right as always. "I appreciate that you think i have guts." I say sarcastically with a chuckle. He gasps dramatically, shaking his head. "Are you saying you DONT have guts Ms. Jordan Sky's? You literally took down our friend group with zero hesitation. I would say that's part of having just guts, i could go on but we would be here for ages." He was laughing now, making me laugh back, almost like it was contagious. When my laughs died down, i felt guilty for hurting the family i had for a chapter in my life, and that i might not have them now. "They don't hate your Jordan, they were just surprised." Goddamit Sam, if you don't stop reading my damn mind, and he couldn't even do that! "I'm sorry, for being so harsh to you guys." I say, looking back at him. "Don't worry about it, water under the bridge, well not that you killed someone of course. But the self defense, Mike shot at you, you didn't fire anything at us." I shrugged, it still wasn't right, any of it from the start. "How did you find out?" I asked him, changing the subject. He looked at me weird for a second before it clicked in him. "The day, after he cheated, he was devastated. But you know how he is, he doesn't really open up to people that much, so he didn't tell me too much." He was lying, i could practically smell it off him, and it enraged me. "It's fine if you don't wanna tell me, it's not your place to anyway." I said, finally looking away from him. He sighed in disappointment, knowing he too had fucked up. "Can you just tell me, who knows? And who was it?" I asked, giving up on asking too much. "The girl, me, and Kat are the only ones that know." "And the girl?" I asked, not dropping the question. He sighed, and contemplated in his head if he should tell me or not. "Her names Serena, she's kinda in our friend group now." What the fuck? Am i hearing this correctly? I sat there, putting the pieces together like a children's puzzle until it all fit. "So the girl that Colby cheated on me with, just so happens to be the same person you let into your super tight friend group. But not only that, she just so happened to be the reason why i'm in the hospital in the first place. Then, coincidentally, she's the girl that i complimented half passed out." I said too quick for even me to process it, it just came out. He sighed, rubbing his face in his hands. "Yeah, that's her." I fumed with anger, they let a stranger into their group, when it took me weeks to months just to earn their trust. I wanted to cry, scream, and put a bullet through my heart at the same time. "I love you Sam, i really do, just like a brother. But i think you need to go now." My eyes pooled with tears, but i refuse to break down in front of him. He sighed quietly in a sad tone. "Okay, im going to send in someone else, is that okay?" He asked as he stood up and collected his things. "Yeah whatever, thank you." I said half smiling. "For what?" He asked. "For telling me, for being there for me. I know it wasn't your decision to bring her in, i'm just mostly hating the world right now." I admitted, looking up at him sadly. "I would be too, don't stress it. We'll figure things out later, love ya Jet." He smiled, fist bumping me. I smiled slightly at the old nickname i admired. He left, leaving me with my thoughts once more. I wasn't surprised that Colby cheated on me, i was just devastated when i found out. It truly did, break my heart. I wanted to cry and scream and punch something, really bad. I hated that he cheated on me, then still pretended that everything was fine at the time. I hated how he was always on my mind, that i couldn't just move on. I hated that now i had this new chapter in my life i had to struggle to get through, i didn't even know if i could make it. Is this what being heart broken felt like? Emptiness and nothing? A part of me wanted to die, i really did, but i also wasn't ready to die. Me and the world knew that very well. If it was my time to go, i would've been gone a long time ago. I rolled over on my side, away from my bad ribs, letting my arm extend out as i curled in a ball. I didn't fight the tears this time, they fell without my permission. I wish i was weightless, free of my problems. What i needed was one of those hugs you get from your mom, and they feel so comforting that you doze off into her arms like a safe. Or even a hug in general, just one that would make my pain go away, even for just a second. "Heard someone wasn't doing too well." I heard behind me softly. "What gave it away? The fact that for once i can't control my emotions, or the car accident? Or even when i got shot in the shoulder. Choose your poison." I said turning over on my back, smiling softly. "I would say the fact that you straightened your hair was a big give away." I gasped, and couldn't help the laugh escape my mouth. He fist bumped me, chuckling with me. "How are you, Aryia? How's it been?" I asked, gesturing the seat next to me, instead, he took one across the room, near my monitors. I furrowed my face at him in confusion, not picking up his body language. "You have broken ribs on that side, you're better off laying the other way." He said smiling. I smiled softly at his kind gesture, laying down on the side i was previously at before he came in. "It's been alright, same old same old. Oh! Cassie, Reggie, Kevin and i got a house together!" His face lit up in excitement, knowing this was something he was really happy about. "Really? That's great man i'm so happy for you." I said genuinely, it's nice knowing my friends found a safe place. "Thank you," he said softly before adjusting his seat so he was closer to me. "What about you Jordan, i know things aren't great for you right now." Oh Aryia, if only you knew the things i knew. I sighed, letting my gaze wonder around the room before landing on his again. "I don't know, i feel weird." I said honestly, i couldn't tell if i was telling the truth, and neither could he. "Elaborate." He said, when he did, i remembered when i had scolded at Colby for using such 'big words' around me. I feel like now my vocabulary was bigger, i had grown out of what i had used to be. I wasn't that sad helpless girl anymore.  "What do you do, when you feel, and see your world crashing down in front of your face, but you can't do anything about it? The feeling of wanting to scream, cry, and end it all, but also want to do it again. But right this time." I asked, pouting out to him without hesitating. "You grow." He said. "You can't erase time, you can't relive what you did. You learn from what you went through and you grow." "How do i grow when there's no more room in my heart to let me?"