Sleepless Nights

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I've been having sleepless nights.
I've been
Sinking in my thoughts,
Thinking about
... you.
Dreaming,
Falling for
... you.
Why?
Why
... you?

You come and go,
But never leave.
You leave
The door open
Just so you can step back in.
Into my mind you live,
and I can't make you go away.
You've been away,
Away from all the pain.
You are not a prisoner,
Yet you stay.
This is all so grey
To me,
I'm not sure what to say
To you.
Do you see
Do you agree
With me?
I'm not asking you to leave,
I just wish you were here
With me.

I've been feeling pain.
Aching and hurting.
Talk about pain relief,
I'd rather be deceased
Than to be feeling this
... hurt.
Feeling like my brain
Is exploding.
Bury me in the dirt,
Maybe I'll feel relieved,
Maybe I'll feel less pain...
If I endure anymore
I might just go
Insane.
I've seen medication
I feel like a patient.
Please release me
From this pain.
I want you to leave,
Please
Go away.
If you stay
My pain will never cease
Maybe
It will increase.
I can't take anymore,
My throat is all sore,
Please have mercy.
These past few days
have been blurry
I feel like I'm in a hurry
I'm worried
But I don't know what to do.
What should I do.
If only I could come back to you.

Is time on the line?
Maybe this is a sign
The stars have aligned
But I doubt it.
Because you've been on my mind
For so long
and my mind is corrupt,
I just can't adjust
maybe I should just shut up.
Damage can't be undone,
History can't be unsung,
I've made mistakes
and I can't say that I've won
Because I lost
you.
You who in a crowd
Of a thousand
Would be unrecognized
But to me you shine as bright
As the sun.
I wish I could run
Away from all I've done.
To you,
I am lost.
If only I had the strength
To reach
But I can't.
From my hands
You slip
Away.
It's only been two years
Yet I fear losing
you.
Maybe if you look past
The past
You can board
My ship.
Hopefully I can hit the right
Chords
That your heart will
Adore.
I can't afford
To lose someone like
you.

I need help.
For you I felt
Only love.
Like a dove
I feel like I can
Fly
When I'm with you.
I can't deny
You didn't even try
I wish I could cry.
This pain has been worse
You feel like a curse.
Maybe if I had pills
My heart feels a thrill
I want to get better
This should have been a letter
To you.
For you
I want to be better
Maybe if I had the right
Words
To tell you.
That I love you.

If only three words
Wouldn't hurt so much.
Maybe this pain
Can be taken away
With medication
But my relation
With you
Hurts.
More than a headache
More than a heartache
My heart is aching
And I can't do anything
About it.
I can admit
What I've done
But It
Can't be fixed.
The pain
In my mind
I just can't find
A way
To get rid of it.
If only I could be unwind,
Someone make me go blind,
You've been way too kind
to me.

If only you knew,
How I'm feeling blue
Because of you.
If only you
Could be in my shoes
Maybe you would get
My point of view...
What is it about you
That makes me feel
This way.
Please stay.
Don't leave me
You make me feel
Free.

I keep looking
For a conclusion
But I find myself
Laughing
Because it's all
An illusion.
I can't get rid of
you.
My feelings
I can't control them,
To my heart
You're a gem,
A treasure
That I will always
Desire.
In my heart
There's a fire
You're only
An amplifier
You make my life
Brighter
and I admire
you.

In my sleepless nights
I wish you would
Think about
Me
The way I think about
you.
This is very direct,
I don't expect
You
To give me respect.
No one is
Perfect
But like an
Architect
I am building,
Writing
What I feel
For you.
Writing
is what helps me
Connect
With how I feel
For you.

I've been feeling pain,
and if you want me
To be honest
You've never left
My heart
You stole it.
You're a thief,
That can't be held
Accountable.
I was irresponsible,
I gave it
To you.
And now I can't
Take it back.
You've left a mark
That has sparked
Something
In my heart.
That was the start
Of my love
That now feels shattered
Apart.

I've been feeling well,
and if you want me
To be honest
It's been better.
The suicide
Has been replaced
With pleasure,
I don't feel any pressure,
My life I treasure
It.
I just feel
Empty
Because of you.
Because I miss you.
Because I wish
You were mine.
I wish
You were here
With me
Again.

I could write
A thousand more words
To describe
How you make me feel.
This isn't a love letter,
More like a confession.
I wouldn't call this
Obsession
Just a succession
Of rhymes
Because I can't keep
The suppression
Of how I feel
For you.
I remember the
Depression
The regression
The aggression
Do you remember it too?

If only you could see
How I've changed
Maybe we could exchange
Three simple words
That hold the world
Together.
That holds our hearts
Closer.
Maybe if you were here
With me in my sleepless nights
You would understand me
Better.
This is how I feel about you.
I know this is unusual
But I hope it's mutual
How I feel for
You.
Hopefully somewhere
In your heart
You feel the same way
Too.

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