Fallen Too Deep

(35) Avoid and Conquer

Hey, pretty baby! How are you? Just wanted to pop in and say thank you soso much for your votes and comments! They really make me feel good, knowing people are actually enjoying this story. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to tell me you like this story. It means the world to me!!! Anyway;) enjoy the chapter!!

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"Hey--"

"Nope. Don't talk, sorry, I'm gonna lose my train of thought. I can't have any distractions." I interrupted my cousin, refilling my coffee cup, not looking at Kristina and Isaac sitting on the counter.

It seemed the roles had switched since now, it was my turn to stress about my finals.

"Wow, you two are not good under stress. It's just finals." Isaac commented. I glared at him, after putting the coffee pot back in the holder.

"Just finals? No, it's not just finals, and besides, our stress comes from our moms. Blame them, but now, shut up. See?! I'm already losing my train of thought! I'm supposed to be thinking about Psych right now! Not my mom!" I let out a groan in frustration.

I had to admit, I knew I over-stressed around this time, hence why I knew to leave Kristina alone when it was her stressing. Just like she knew not to question my stress right now.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, go stress. Can I please borrow your car though? Mine's not good in the snow, and the engine won't start." Isaac pouted.

"Yes, only if you shut up. Keys are by the door." I informed both of them before heading back into my room.

I let out a deep breath, sitting at my wooden desk, that had pictures of a colored brain on it, slides I had printed out, and most of my notes that I hadn't gone through yet. I wasn't worried about the Bio final, and apparently neither was Isaac.

We had studied for it a little earlier, so we wouldn't have to worry about it, hence why I was freaking out about Psych. It was what I had brushed aside, for me to study for it last minute.

I really had no reason to feel bad for myself, it was my fault I had left it last minute, but it was mostly so that I could have a distraction so I couldn't think about...him.

So I couldn't think about him. I hadn't talked to him yet, not after my talk with Liv, especially not after my talk with Kristina. I just needed time, that was it, once I got time...then I could realize that I wasn't falling for one of my best friends, that I was having sex with. I just thought I was, with him being there for me so much.

It was not in the friends-with-benefits handbook, and it wasn't in my plans. I wasn't supposed to fall for anyone. I was supposed to focus on school. I was supposed to let this -- whatever it was that we were -- be a way for me and Nathan to unwind. It had worked so perfectly up until now, why was I doubting myself?

Why did feelings have to be so complicated, and stupid, and why did he have to be so god damn sweet, and caring, and charming and...fuck I had strayed away from Psych now. Psych was the last thing on my mind at the moment. I took off my glasses, getting a headache, and rubbed my eyes.

Only thing was, it wasn't my glasses giving me a headache, it was my own damn thoughts. Nathan wouldn't appreciate me thinking like this, he was doing his part perfectly.

It was me that was fucking up. Was it the sex, or was it him that was making me doubt my feelings? If we weren't having sex, and he still saved me from Tommy, still was the perfect guy, I probably would still be feeling this way.

Yeah, he was attracted to me, but just physically though...right? Weren't guys supposed to not be good at hiding feelings? I would know if he was feeling the same way, and so far, all I got from him was that we were friends.