Fallen Too Deep

(45) Home Sweet Philly

Just know I'm sorry 🙏 character development ✌🏻😗

*****

"I want you." I blurted out. Way to go, Sofia. That was the perfect way to announce it. Clap for the heavy weight champ.

Nathan looked at me like I had grown a second head, which I was almost convinced I had at this point. This second head was the one doing the talking, I was no longer taking responsibility.

"Now?" He asked. Oh. He thought I meant that.

"What? No! Well...I mean...yes--" it was always yes but I hadn't meant it that way in this moment "—but I didn't mean it like that." I suddenly felt heat in my cheeks.

"Then...?" He leaned on my dresser, waiting for me to continue. Dammit, he even leaned good. Was there anything he couldn't make attractive?

"Well...um..." I suddenly lost all my train of thought. Everything I wanted to say, completely left my mind and I was left with blank. Absolute blank.

Nathan waited patiently for me to say what I wanted to say, and I felt like I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Why was I so freaking nervous? My hands were shaking and my palms were sweaty, and I needed something to do with them. So I rubbed them on my thighs.

"Sofia...?" He pushed off the dresser and came up to me. If I couldn't think before, I definitely couldn't think with him being so close to me. I could smell his familiar scent, soap with a hint of cologne.

"Hm?" was all I managed to get out.

"You want me...?" Nathan prodded.

"Right. Um. I—" I cut myself off again. He didn't seem annoyed, just curious and patient. He was always so patient.

"Tell me, Sofia, we're friends you can tell me anything." My heart sank. Friends. I hadn't heard that word in a while. It felt like forever since we used that word to describe each other. A word I decided I didn't just dislike, but loathed.

"Right. Friends. Um, we should go back downstairs." I wouldn't even bother. There was no way this conversation was going to go how I wanted it to go, and he proved that. When I made a move to go to my door, his hand was on my wrist. The touch felt like it seared my skin, his touch always did.

"You obviously wanna get something off your chest so just say it, Sofia. What's wrong?" Nathan sounded more concerned now than anything. Great. I made a mess of everything. We were perfectly fine downstairs, I should've just left well enough alone.

"Nothing's wrong, I—I just don't think this whole pretending thing was the brightest idea." For my heart and my thoughts.

Confusion etched itself on Nathan's face. "Becaus—"

"Because you won my dad over. Do you know how hard it is to win my dad over? You fixed the car he and my mom fell in love in. You cook with my mom. My sisters are putty in your hands, my niece wants to spend more time with you than she does with me. Now I can't stop thinking what if this was a reality. What if you kept coming home with me, and it wasn't pretend." I licked my dry lips, watching him closely for his reaction. My wrist that had been holding, dropped to my side, just as my heart did. He let it go, and took a step back.

"Sofia, I can't." Was the first thing that came out of his mouth. He couldn't?

"We've been doing it for a while, Nathan. Whether we wanted to admit it or not. We do things only couples do, and I like spending time with you and I know you like spending time with me. So why not?"