PROJECT GIRL

Thirty-Eight

TANYAPOV:

"Bitch! You ain't going nowhere!" Manaic was yelling and chasing me around the house with a gun around his kids while I was with child.
"Maniac please !" I screamed but he continued to go on.
Manaic grabbed me by the hair and threw me to the floor. I laid there crying in pain. I couldn't wrap my head around how I could be so dumb to fall for this crazy man.
"Clean yourself up." Manaic threw a towel at me and then walked out the house. I laid there crying for a minute or two then I got up to shower.
I cried in the shower and then when I got out I went to start dinner for the kids. I made sure the kids ate and had a bath before laying them down for bed.

Once I was done with the kids I sat in the living room crying. I was broken. I had fell in love with a man who didn't clearly love me. I couldn't believe that I turned my back on anyone who said other wise , so that I can be happy with him. I then saw Manaic walk in the house with flowers and shopping bags.
"Baby I'm sorry." Manaic cried handing me the flowers. I didn't take them I walked past him to the kitchen wiping my tears.
"Manaic no your not sorry. You do this every time. You beat on me and then treat me like shit then buy me expensive shit and expect it to be all good. Look at my face." I point to my face. I had a black eye and a busted lip.
"I have issues that I'm working on."
"Your not the only one having issues. That's damn sure not how you treat someone who is caring your child."
"I am really sorry. All I ask is that you don't leave me. No one had ever loved me like you did. I have so much built up anger that I can't control it sometimes. I'll go get some medical help just please don't leave me."
"Manaic I don't know how much more of this I can take. I think you and I need to be apart for a while." I walked towards the bedroom. I began packing my suitcase. Maniac sat on the bed wathcingn me not saying a word.
"Tanya I do love you just know that."
"Maniac I love you too that's why I stay every time. But what am I supposed to do when every time I'm the one that needs to go to emergency room?"
"Baby I swear I've been trying to control it."
"No you've been trying to control me."
"I'm trying to protect you from everyone who else who is out for me."
"I can handle myself."
"Tanya where are you going you are nine months pregnant."
"I'm going to stay at my moms house for while until I figure out everything else. And since when did you care that I was pregnant?"
"Tanya. Now you know I care about the baby."
"If you did you wouldn't raise your hand at me. EVER!"
I carried my bags down to the car. Then once I had my things I pulled off to head to a hotel. The next morning I woke up and I had ten missed calls from Manaic. I ignored that then I went to get ready to get ready for my day to start. I knew that I couldn't live in a hotel with my baby so it was up to me to get my shit together.
I took a drive to my mothers house. My mother and I wasn't close but we kinda had a relationship. I needed some help figuring out life and I knew she would be someone to go to.
When I got to the house we sat in silence before either one of us spoke.
"Do What brings you here?" My mom asked blowing smoke in the air.
"I need help."
"By the looks of your face you need more than help you need an ice pack." My mother laughed.
"You think this is funny?"
"No but if you feel like you can change him then that's were I take what you say as a joke."
"Excuse me?"
"Your excuse. That man ain't no good. Now we done told you about him but you insisted that wasn't the case and you tried to change him. If he is willing to put his hands on you while your with child then he doesn't love you. Your best bet is to start over with you and that baby. Get away now before it's too late." My mother was right. But it wasn't that easy I love Maniac even though he does have a temper but I can't shake the feelings I have for him.
"That's why I came here. I need help I have nothing and I don't know what I'm going to do."
"You better find a job and you better figure out where your going to stay with that baby."
"Can I stay with you until I get back on my feet?"
"Look your my daughter and that my grandson I'm not about to just let y'all be homeless."
"Thanks mom so much."
"Just don't think you have forever eventually you need to have something put together to be on your own. Your a grown ass woman."
"I know ma."
"Now that you know what's expected of you what's your plan?"
"Right now I'm focus on my baby. I'm about to be due. So I need to figure out how am I going to take care of my child."
"Does that man know that you left?"
"Yes."
"Well your just gonna he to work out the co-parenting thing too."
"Yeah I know."

After talking with my mother I got in my car and drove to Nana's hotel. When it to her room she had a mean muggin face on.
"What is your problem?" I asked.
"You know my problem. I care about you and Maniac doesn't. Look at your face. Your eight months pregnant with a black eye and a busted lip. You need to see what everyone else sees in him."
"What's that's supposed I mean?"
"He did the same thing to Raven and you see that didn't last she left. Yeah she still got pregnant again but that's a whole different story. She realized the obvious. Now that is that Manaic is a woman beater and not a lover,"
"So you saying I can't make a choice for myself. Like I don't know what I'm doing."
"I understand if you love him but he isn't good for you."
"So you know what's good for me?"
"Hell Yeah. I've been your best friend for years I know what you need and deserve and it is damn sure not Maniac."
"Let's talk about Semaj then. Last I checked he cheated on you and still you take him back over and over. Your the one out here looking stupid. So since there is so much to say about my relationship with Manaic let's look into you and Semaj."
"Semaj did his dirt and that's why me and him aren't together. I love that man with everything I got. The things he did and the things he do is the reason why we aren't together. Also they are two different people. Semaj is a real man he will never put his hands on me. Maniac is a straight bitch. If he can lay his hands on a woman ,a pregnant one at that he is damn sure not a man."
"Whatever you think your so perfect."
"No I don't. I'll be the first to tell you that I don't think I'm no better than the next bitch.  I'll be damn if I let my best friend put herself and her baby through that abusive shit. If you can't see that I care about you then what we having this conversation for?"
"You do, you will never hesitate to bring up someone else's bullshit. Like you forget that you be doing bullshit too."
"Why do you constantly stick up for that nigga?"
"Believe it or not when me and mom went blank he let me move in and him and I built a family together I didn't have both of my parents I barely had one. So I reach for the better things for my child."
"You think letting a Nigga beat on you is a better thing for your child."
"Maniac wouldn't hit my child."
"You know what I'm going to let you decide for yourself. Since that Nigga got you hooked."
"What?"
"You can leave now I have some packing to do I'm moving in my house tomorrow and I need to have my things together so you can leave this conversation is over."
"Really? This is how you coming?"
"No this is how you coming. Every time someone try's to tell you what's good for you you insist on defending him so what else is there to talk about?"
"Nana you changed."
"Tanya you haven't change and that's why you don't see the shit you do. Now bye." Nana waved goodbye as I walked out her hotel room.
Nana has changed and it I didn't like it. I ended up going home and going to sleep.