dolan twins imagines.

one last time. {graysondolan. pt.2}

ethans eyes burned as he glanced down at his phone, the video grayson recorded playing with his earphones tucked into his ears. hearing what grayson last said to him on repeat, whilst he sat infront of graysons casket.

he swallowed the tears and the ball at the back of his throat that had formed. he replayed the video, glancing up to graysons casket as he bit the inside of his lip. his eyes burning once again as he tilted his head back, slowly letting his eyes close as his lips quivered.

"i love you, ethan. don't miss me too much. i'll always be here..yeah. always.." he listened to graysons voice ringing through his earphones, letting out a soft sob. throwing his head back down and bringing his hands to his face.

feeling his heart break into a million and more pieces, feeling them sink down to his stomach and softly landing right at the bottom. never to be brung back up with the amount of heartbreak, emptiness and sadness ethans going to deal with for the years to come.

knowing..just knowing if he never left grayson home alone that night then maybe..just maybe grayson would still be alive. maybe he could've talked to grayson, maybe he could've done something to stop him.

but he never knew.

ethan never took to mind that grayson had listened, read and let all the hate get to him. he had the thought grayson would've let it slip right into one ear and out the other. but grayson didn't.

ethan tightened his grip around the handle, graysons casket balanced on his shoulder his eyes gazed straight ahead. heading toward graysons burial placing. his heart sinking straight to his feet knowing this..this is goodbye.

he believed it was just a nightmare, he'll wake up soon. he'll soon walk to graysons roon to see grayson sat watching yet another survival video. but seeing that headstone? it made ethan realise..grayson will never be back. not today, not tomorrow. not for years to come.

and that..that broke ethan.

ethan fisted the mud in his palm before letting it slip through his fingers and scatter against graysons casket along with the roses.

grayson always loved the smell of roses, even if the pollen made him sneeze..he'd always smell them.

ethan stepped back into his uncles grasp as he watched them cover graysons casket with mud..soon being the last one stood there. it started raining soon after everyone left, an umbrella balanced against ethans shoulder with his hand wrapped around the handle.

he stood over graysons grave, feeling mother nature was sad about the passing of grayson too. he sniffled as he kept his eyes on the headstone, his eyes starting to puff up as dry sobs crept through his lips. he couldn't cry, his tears were gone its nothing more than dry..hurtful sobs.

ethan couldn't help but think about how he doesn't know wether hes going to cope without grayson, he believed he'd never make it without grayson. grayson was everything, grayson was who kept ethan wanting to see the daylight of tomorrow morning..and now graysons gone, he dreads waking up the next day.

he dreads having to wake up without grayson in the room down the hall or beside him in his bed.

its only been a few weeks and he misses him like crazy.

ethan sat down on graysons bed with a light "mm." being hit with the smell of graysons cologne, a picture of him and grayson placed between his pointer finger and thumb. tear drops slowly sliding down the picture as ethan sobs quietly into the empty air.

"i miss you so much." he whispered, his voice cracking as he wipes over graysons face because a tear dropped onto it. he didn't think of grayson as selfish for ending everything. he understood why, he understood deeply. he just disliked the thought of grayson leaving so early into his life because of what people were saying..

he hated the thought of having to live with him, without grayson as his side. without grayson at his beck and call. without grayson with him 24/7.

he wishes that he'll see grayson one day..he wishes to hear grayson one day. he wishes to be able to just..smell grayson. to just hug him one last time and remind him that its okay.

he just wants grayson here one last time..just so he can be the support he always promised to be.

just..one last time.

-
a/n:
i thought i'd publish this as a last imagine before i leave for good. i hope you enjoyed it.

i hope you guys are happy, self-confident and constantly smiling. yous deserve the world.
bye.
- tayn.

(the picture was made by me, feel free to do whatever with it. just give credit or whatever. )