Shawn Mendes Imagines

too afraid

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The bubbly sweet soda ran down my throat as the condensation off of the bottle ran down my hand. I sat the bottle down on the worn down shingles of my roof before wiping my wet palms on my jeans.

it was about 7:30 pm and the sun was setting over the horizon. the sky that was blue with puffy clouds was now slowly mixing with pinks and oranges. the sun would soon be replaced with the moon, and the clouds would turn into stars. it was the most calming part of the day.

"i didn't know you still did this." i turned my head to see shawn climbing out of my bedroom window. he was wearing my favorite sweatshirt of his and gray sweatpants.

"what are you doing here?" i asked trying to sound as if i didn't want him here, even though i was beyond happy he was.

he shrugged and plopped down beside me. sigh passed his lips before saying, "just thought i would watch this nice sunset at the best place in Ontario."

i rolled my eyes and picked up the half empty bottle of cola.

a silence fell between us for a few seconds before shawn broke it.

"you know i didn't do it for the reason you think i did." i saw him look at me from the corner of my eye but i refused to meet his chocolate colored eyes.

"if you're here to talk about that you might as well leave." i shook my head and stuffed my hands into the pockets of my hoodie.

"so we are just going to act like nothing happened?" shawn asked raising his voice a little.

i didn't say anything. partially because i didn't know what i would say.

"whatever, you can either listen or not, but I'm not going to sit here and not try to tell you why." he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

"i know why Shawn," I said finally deciding to look at him, "you were too afraid of actually having someone love you. it was getting too serious for you, so you broke it off before it become something way more." i looked away before i could read his facial expression.

"wow," he scoffed and shook his head, "you are so far from the truth."

"then what is the truth Shawn?" i asked becoming slightly aggravated.

"The truth is," i glanced over to see him staring off in the distance, "i fell for you, fast and hard. i didn't know what to do. I've never felt this way before, and I didn't know how to express it. I was afraid of screening it up, so I screwed it up," he paused laughing bitterly at himself and shaking his head, "I was too afraid to love you." He met my eyes as he finished.

"Why didn't you just tell me this?" I asked feeling my heart race faster.

"I don't know," he looked down at his hands and sighed, "but I wish I would of." He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

The sun had officially gone down and it was now dark. The crickets were chirping and the air was much cooler.

"I better get going, have to leave in the morning." He said pushing himself up.

"Shawn," he stopped and turned around.

I stood up and walked towards him, "I love you." I said softly his face inches from mine.

He looked deeply into my eyes for a few seconds making me wish I wouldn't of said it. "I love you too." He said before cupping my cheek and crashing his lips on mine.

Umm this sucks and I don't really know where I was going with this, but I can imagine Shawn in this situation. Like not knowing how to express his love for someone.