Shawn Mendes Imagines

Drunken mistake

It was something that I never realized I wanted, till it happened. It was something I never expected to happen with Shawn, but with the alcohol and deep conversations, it just sort of happened.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked breathlessly. He looked back up at me before continuing.

"Yes Shawn," I said just as breathless as him.

2 weeks. That's how long it's been without talking to Shawn. It wasn't like us to even go a day without talking, we are best friends, or we were. Its complicated now.

I would occasionally find him glancing at me as he passed me in the halls, or catch his gaze on me in class, but we would just look away quickly if we ever made eye contact. It was hard to try to avoid him because we had almost every class together, and we were neighbors.

I was walking up my driveway when I heard a familiar voice call my name. My heart started to pound against my rib cage at the sound of his deep voice. I slowly turned around to see shawn jogging to me. I took a shaky breath and prepared myself for this conversation.

"You left this," Shawn said handing me a maroon sweatshirt that I haven't seen in months.

"Uh, thanks." I said reaching out to grab the sweatshirt. Our hands barely touched, but touched enough for me to pull back quickly. I turned to walk away, but Shawn stopped me by grabbing my hand. Goosebumps covered my body when he touched me.

"We have to talk y/n," Shawn said sternly.

I sighed and looked up to meet his light brown eyes, "Let's go inside." I said nervously. We walked into my house and walked up to my room. I sat down on my bed as Shawn closed my bedroom door. There was a awkward silence between Shawn and I before he broke it.

"We promised each other not to let it be awkward around us," Shawn said looking at me from the wooden chair in front of my vanity.

"I know Shawn," I said slightly irritated.

"We haven't talked in 2 weeks." Shawn stood up from the chair and paced back and forth as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Look Shawn," I stood up and walked over to him, "that night we were both drunk and we weren't able to think straight, I regret it, and-." Shawn cut me off before I could say anything else.

"You regret it?" His eyebrows knitted together as he looked at me with confusion.

"I mean, yeah. It was a mistake." I said not realizing what I was saying. Hurt flashed across Shawn's face, but his face turned stone cold.

He shook his head and looked down at the carpet,
"I'll see you around." He started to walk back to his house.

"Shawn, I-." He turned around and looked at me with a look that made tears fill my eyes. It was a mix of pain and anger making me realize what I did.

"Let's just forget about that night, pretend like the meaningful conversations never happened, and our lips never touched, because it was all a mistake right? Just a drunken mistake." His voice was raspy but filled with anger. He pulled a note out of his pocket and sat it on my desk, "I wrote this for you, but I understand if you don't want to read it." He walked out of my bedroom, slamming the door behind him. I heard the front door close signaling he had left.

I stared down at the folded piece of notebook paper as I processed what just happened. My hands shook as I unfolded then paper.

Dear y/n,

  Before I met you I was the guy that never had any friends, I was afraid to leave the house other than going to school. I spent most of my time studying, or singing in my room. Because of you, you made me see what more there is to life. You are the reason I'm performing sold out concerts, seeing the world, but most importantly, you're the reason I know what love is.

I'm so in love with you y/n. Now that I'm writing this I realize how cheesy this sounds, but it's true. It's been 2 weeks since that night, during these weeks we barely look at each other, we haven't said one word to each other, and it's killing me. I leave to go back on tour soon, and hopefully I told you how I felt before I leave next week.

I held the note close to my chest as I let out a loud sob. It's all my fault this is over.