Shawn Mendes Imagines

I still love you

have you ever been in complete shock? it's like your whole body goes numb as you try to process what is going on around you. everything is in slow motion as you just stand there frozen. the feeling was caused by the news i heard.

"he's coming home tomorrow." the words rolled off of my mom's tongue like they meant nothing. it was almost as if she was excited about it. my ex boyfriend, the boy i have been in love since i was 17 is finally coming back home after years of being gone due to his fame.

i snapped back into reality and shook my head. i was being over dramatic. it wasn't like he would come and visit me. why would he? we haven't spoken since he left for his illuminate tour. his career was really starting to take off, so he was really busy. he didn't have time to have a girlfriend, so i did what was best.

of course it hurt me to break up with him, but it was the best choice. i never really completely healed, but i had to get over it. he had been rumored to be with another girl so i really had no other choice than to just get over him. 

"hun are you alright?" my mother asked placing her hand on my leg and looking at me concerned.

"yeah," i lied nodding my head, "i'm fine."

"i know that you haven't talked to each other in awhile, why don't you reach out to him. i'm sure he would want to see you." my mom said as she turned away from me to reach her wine glass filled with the dark red alcohol.

"mom, i can't just reach out to my ex boyfriend that i haven't talked to in almost two years." i said before sighing.

"now that he isn't busy you two might be able to start where you guys left off. it was obvious that you two loved each other very much which is very rare especially for your ages." she said before taking a sip of the wine. her pink lip stick stained the glass rim as she drank the beverage that was making her more and more buzzed with every sip.

"we loved each other, it is different now." i corrected.

"don't sit there and tell me you don't love that boy anymore. after all you two went through you can't tell me that your heart doesn't want him." she said making me look away from her icy blue eyes.

"do you know when he will be home for sure?" i asked leaning back into the sofa.

"karen told me that he should be getting in late tonight, she also told me something else that she made me promise not to tell you, but i will just don't say anything." she said sitting her glass down on the wooden coffee table before turning towards me.

"she told me that shawn is a mess without you. after you two broke up and he went on tour he would call her and tell her how much he missed you and she thought that he wouldn't make it through the whole tour. the calls eventually ended, but when he would come home during breaks she said he would spend most of his time in his room debating on whether to come see you or not. she had never seen him such a wreck." my chest started to tighten and ache as i listened to my mom.

i still didn't think he would want to see me. that was a long time ago. he had been seen with other girls recently, so i figured he had moved on now. i was probably just his first love and a memory now.

"so that is why i think you need to go see him." my mom said before standing up from the couch with the wine glass in one hand and a magazine in the other.

i took a deep breath and leaned farther back into the leather cushions before letting the breath escape. maybe i do need to see him. even if i did what would we say to each other? it would be so awkward. i don't even know what i expect out of it either. it would probably just hurt way too much to see him.

i ran my fingers through my hair and looked up at the ceiling. i'm such a mess.

+

"y/n!" my mom called my name from downstairs. i paused the youtube video i was watching and ran down the stairs.

"what's up?" i asked turning the corner to see her in the kitchen.

"go get washed up, we are going out for dinner." my mom said wiping her hands on a towel on the marble counter tops.

"okay." i said excited that i wouldn't have to eat my mother's cooking. i jogged up the stairs and looked for a simple outfit to change into.

Once I looked somewhat presentable I went downstairs. My mom and I walked out to the car and got in.

On the way to the restaurant I started to play my Spotify playlist. Unfortunately I still had some of Shawn's songs from his first album on there. The song, "never be alone," began playing.

My mom looked over at me with a small smile, "See you still listen to the song he wrote for you."

I rolled my eyes and smiled a little.

•
We walked into the restaurant. My mom said something to the waiter that made him guide us to a table.

My heart dropped when I met the familiar pair of brown eyes.