Shawn Mendes Imagines

thank you

You don't have to read this I get it if you want to skip. I'm guilty of skipping authors notes.

I just want to talk. I feel like you guys are so sweet and supportive and I need to get some things off of my chest.

I don't really have a lot of friends and some of the friends that I do have just keep me around because of either how long we have been best friends or because I boost their ego. There are some things that my best friend has done that I won't speak about, but I am hurt and I have been for months now. Of course I act like nothing is wrong and that we are still as close as ever. Maybe I do that because she is my only friend. I know that sounds stupid, but I guess I rather have a friend than no one at all. She sounds like she hasn't done anything for me, but that's not true. She's been there for me for everything! My first real heartbreak, my depression, and family issues. So thank you for being there for me.

My dad and I used to be so close but I moved away with my mom. I'm very sensitive when it comes to him. I don't talk about him often. He's always been in and out for reasons. He's still my number one fan when it comes to my works lol. Even though I get to see him Saturday it will only be for a few hours and then I won't see him for god knows how long. We have some of the best memories and good music taste lol. His song to me is, "never be alone." It helps me a lot when I miss him, so thank you Shawn.

My mom and I are so close that it's actually kind of scary. We are so alike and look identical. The problem is she's an alcoholic. There were many nights where I would have to wake her up from passing out on the kitchen table or outside. It was just her and I for a while so I got used to it. She would drink to numb her pain. I can't blame her we were going through some rough things at the time, but when things got better her drinking didn't stop. It's only bad at night. She comes home from work, we talk for about 30 minutes and laugh and joke and then she starts drinking. That's when I go to my room to get away from it. She's not abusive! I just don't like seeing her like that. But if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be the person I am today so thank you Mom.

now for my personal issues. i feel like some of you may have the same insecurities so feel free to talk to me about them. i am struggling with these right now and it is taking a toll on me. i try to hide it, but some things just manage to shine through.

one things i am very insecure about is my appearance. my weight, how pretty I am compared to someone else, it makes me want to never take photos or talk to a boy. my best friend is so much prettier than me. I've talked to people about it, and no matter how many times they tell me I'm pretty. i feel like it's out of sympathy and I'm tired of it. I've been trying to feel more confident, but I'm just not. Whenever I take a photo in a bikini I never post it or I immediately delete it especially if it's with my friend. she always tells me how jealous she is of me but if she only knew how much i envy her.

as crazy as it sounds I'm insecure about love. now I maybe only be 13, but I feel like it doesn't matter how old you are. They say there are three stages of love. the first love which is nothing compared to the others, but it prepares you, then you have the love that shows you that the person you thought you loved was nothing compared to this person,  and then you have the person that is the real deal. Maybe you stay together forever, that's what everyone hopes right? Anyways I don't think he was just a puppy love. He was something that left me scarred to this day. I don't know what it was about him but he left me broken and vulnerable in a way. But if it wasn't for him I wouldn't of learned that it's okay to be myself, he also taught me that healing takes. time but when it finishes a piece of you has changed for the better. thank you for making me a stronger person.

now for the finale. thank you guys so much. I started this whole writing thing when I was in fourth grade. i got this desk top computer and we didn't have internet so I had to find something to do. One day I played Shawn Mendes first album that I had just gotten a few days before. As his voice played through my empty room ideas ran through my head. The first book popped into my head. It was about a girl that owned a cafe, when a boy walked in hoping for a job she didn't recognize him at first, but he was actually the boy she left back in her small town. About 2 years later I stumbled upon this app. I was too scared to write fan fiction, so I improvised. I made a story about a girl and two twin boys. They were obviously the Dolan twins, but I was way too afraid to say it. I ended up deleting it because it wasn't doing well. One day I decided that I should just take a chance, so I came up with my first fan fiction "dreams." It started to do well and I was beyond happy when it got 1k. That's when I knew that I had to keep going. I made a few more that never really made the cut, well until around Christmas of 2016. I decided that I have to write about Shawn Mendes. That's when my first imagine book came out and I was in shock when It got 1k reads in about 2 months. Now here we are almost two years later closer to 1m than I ever thought was possible, not only that but all of my other books including this one are doing amazing.

The 9 year old me never thought I would get this far. I was lucky if my mom even wanted to read my new chapter on my first story, now here I am making friends with people all over the world and it's really all because of shawn and wattpad.

Thank you so much for reading, voting, commenting everything. I know this whole thing was cheesy and some of you probably won't bother to read it which is totally understandable, but for those of you that did, thank you.