Voltron One Shots

20/20

Summary: Lance questions Allura about bringing him back to life. 

A/N: Sorry for the lack of prompts, I've been super busy the last few days. Also don't forget that if you support me on patreon https://www.patreon.com/prince_yoongi you can gain access to all my patron-only fics and many other cool perks!

Trigger warnings: implied suicide

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"Why didn't you just let me die" The word echoed in her head all night. She just couldn't believe that Lance had said that. That he thought that. Allura brought Lance back from the dead that day without a second thought. Why would she think twice about it? Her friend had died, and she had the ability to bring him back. Anyone would've done it. And anyone would've been grateful. 

Except for Lance, apparently.

Lance had confronted her about it a few days later, after everything had calmed down. It was early in the morning, and Allura was doing her daily walk about the castle enjoying a quiet moment alone when Lance approached her. It was clear that he had not slept at all that night and he was very distraught. She began to ask him what was wrong when he interrupted her with the sentence that haunted her.

"Why didn't you just let me die"

Allura didn't know what to say to his words. Why would he say that? Why was he saying it now? "Lance, what are you--" She tried to say. Lance interrupted her, his eyes rimmed with red as he met her confused gaze.

"In the lion, before. Why didn't you let me die? Why did you have to bring me back?" he asked sharply. Allura recoiled.

"Wh- what? Lance-!"

"You could have just left me alone!" Lance shouted. "All you had to do was let me go, but NO! You had to be a hero and save me so that I could continue killing people for you" Lance clenched his fists at his side. Allura was afraid that he might punch the wall, or worse, her. He shouted a few more things at her, mostly repeating himself, before he slumped his shoulders, his eyes dropping to his feet.

"Fuck" he whispered. "I'm sorry" Allura didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. Lance had never had an outburst like that before. She didn't know how to react. "I didn't mean- I don't..." His eyes glassed over for a moment. "I'm sorry I yelled"

Allura hadn't seen Lance at all the rest of the day. Coran had mentioned seeing him in the kitchen sometime that afternoon.  Allura had almost forgotten about her strange interaction with Lance until she laid down in bed that night. Allura mulled the conversation over in her mind again and again. Something about that interaction bothered her, aside from the fact that Lance had implied that he would rather be dead. It was the look in his eyes. They were so empty. It was like Lance wasn't there. 

Allura tossed and turned for over an hour, replaying it in her mind. Finally, when she couldn't take it any longer, she got out of bed left her room in search of Lance. She needed to talk to him again to make sure he was okay.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" Those seven words repeated over and over like a song stuck in her head. Allura picked up her pace as she made her way through the halls to Lance's room. She didn't know if he would be there, but she had to start somewhere. She had to find him. She had to make sure he was okay. 

Allura rapped her knuckles against Lance's door lightly. She listened intently, but heard no noise from the other side of the door. "Lance?" she called. "Lance, are you in there?" There was no response. "Lance, I need to talk to you--" Allura tried to doorknob. It was unlocked. Allura slowly pushed the door open and--

Oh, how she wished she had gone earlier. 

Why hadn't she searched for him earlier? Why didn't she see this coming? It had all been there, the outburst, secluding himself from the others, drastic change in mood. 

They say hindsight is twenty-twenty.