Voltron One Shots

Scared and Scarred

Prompt: IDK IF YOU'VE DONE IT YET BUT: there's a training exercise, kind of like the one in the first season, where all the paladins are put under an altean spell that allows them to see the other paladins' injuries in different colors (pidge has green bruises, shiro has purple scars, keith has little red cuts from training, etc.) lance keeps resisting the exercise and nobody knows why until the spell is put in place and suddenly everyone can see his bright blue self-harm scars. can be happy or sad ending, with or without klance.

A/N: This is my first prompt from ao3! I've gotten several but I always forget to go back and write them alskjdaksld;; I've started screenshotting them so I remember to lol.

P.s. This is something I posted on Tumblr today about why I don't post sequels very often. I'd really appreciate it if you read this <3

The reason I leave so many fics on cliffhangars and then don't write a sequel is because that's where the story ends for me. Almost all my prompts end badly, either with Lance being in pain, physically or emotionally, or dying. Sometimes the ending is vague, not saying whether or not he lived or died, whether he was alright. I do this on purpose. I don't want all my stories to be nice little fics with happy endings that are wrapped up in a neat little bow for you guys. I want my stories to be gutwrenching, I want them to make you feel something. Whether it's because you relate to what he's going through, or because you can't imagine the pain he's in.

Some times I do write sequels for fics, mainly because I feel pressured to. I have gotten countless asks for almost every fic I've ever written, asking for sequels. Sometimes I even get asks for alternate endings, where Lance is no longer in pain, or no longer dead. When I post a fic, 9/10 times I am done with the fic. That's where I want to end it. In my head, there's no more to it. Even the ones with abrupt endings.

I'm sorry to the people who don't like 'gross' fics or the 'bad' ones. I like what I write. If you don't like the ones with unhappy endings your welcome to just read my fics that have happy endings. I don't like writing sequals, and most likely I will not be writing them anymore. Sorry.

Trigger warnings: self-harm, scars, attempted suicide (past)

~ ~ ~

"No!" Lance shouted suddenly, pulling away from Allura. Everyone turned to stare at him. Lance's eyes darted back and forth wildly, twisting his fingers nervously. "I- I- I just mean... I don't want to do it. It's stupid" Lance stuttered.

"It's not stupid, Lance" Allura said. "It's a precaution. We have to check you for injuries that could have been inflicted by that creature. The injuries might not be visible to the naked eye, so we must use this Altean spell to search for them" Lance took a small step away from Allura.

"I'm fine though" Lance said, swallowing thickly. "It didn't even get anywhere near me. I'm not hurt" He was slowing inching his way toward the door.

Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, and Keith had already been through the spell. They stood on the platform while Allura performed the spell. It activated what looked like some sort of dye under their skin, illuminating injuries, both internal and external, new and old.

Lance had injuries that he couldn't let them see. Ever.

Lance hadn't always been a happy child, so expressive and carefree. When he was younger, Lance struggled with depression. He felt like no one listened to him when he talked about his problems. The only way that he knew how to cope with it was to turn to self-harm. He cut himself almost every day for months, until his mother found out. She cried, asking him why. Why did he do it? Why? Why. Why. Lance didn't know how to answer her. It didn't make him feel better. It didn't make him feel more in control. He didn't like being in pain.

He just did it.

He had stopped after that. His mother sent him to therapy and it helped. For a while. Lance had been in space for over a year now, and the novelty of it had long since worn off. Lance felt the dreaded feelings of depression creeping back into his mind. He had tried to talk to the others about it, but it seemed like no one was listening. Everyone was busy with each other or ignored him outright. Hunk had Pidge, Allura had Lotor, Keith had Shiro. Lance had tried to talk to Coran, but even he had little time to listen to Lance's feelings. They were in a war after all, they didn't have time to talk about trivial feelings.

Lance felt like he had no choice but to turn back to what he knew.

Back to his self-destructive ways.

"You don't know that for sure" Coran's voice, breaking Lance from his thoughts. He tugged on his jacket sleeve unconsciously. "These injuries are not something that you notice, until it's too late" he explained. Lance's whole body was twitchy. He jumped any time anyone shifted toward him, flinched when they looked at him.

"But- but I—" he had no argument. There was no logical reason for why he was protesting this. He had no excuse. No way to get out of it.

"Lance, please" Allura said in exasperation. "It just takes a moment and then you can go back to whatever you do during the day" Lance flinched.

"I..." Lance trailed off, not knowing what to say. The others were all staring at him in confusion, wondering why he was resisting.

"Lance, listen to the princess" Shiro said sternly. "It just takes a second. It doesn't hurt, I promise" Lance crossed his arms and blinked the tears out of his eyes, staring hard at his feet.

Shiro's body had so many scars on it that under the spell his skin was more purple than anything else. Keith's was riddled in battle scars, deep but far apart. Hunk had a few cuts and bruises, but nothing major. Pidge, she had been hit by the creature, and was put into the pod immediately. Luckily, they had caught it in time, so she would be out in a few hours, completely healed.

"Lance, just do what she says. It only takes a second" Keith said, shrugging his jacket back on. He was the last one to go under the spell. Lance shuffled toward the platform as slowly as he could. His jaw was clenched so hard he was afraid he was going to crack his teeth.

"Princess is this- Allura, is this really necessary?" Lance asked desperately, his voice cracking. Allura's mouth curved downward.

"Yes" Lance nodded, a few tears falling down his cheek.

"Okay" he whispered. Lance squeezed his eyes shut so that he didn't have to see the others' reactions.

Lance felt the coolness of Allura's magic run down his body. It was like ice in his veins. Lance shivered and hunched his shoulders.

"Lance, please take off your jacket" Allura instructed. Lance tensed. He couldn't move. "Lance" Though Lance felt cold, he was sweating. He could feel them dripping down his face, mixing with his tears. With shaking hands, Lance shrugged his coat off and let it fall to the floor. He was trembling as he stood there. He felt naked, splayed out in front of the world. They could see him. Faults and all.

The room was deadly quiet for a moment as the spell took effect. Lance could feel it traveling just underneath his skin. Lance knew when it had reached his wrists. The sound of someone sucking in a sharp breath, followed by the nerve-wracking sound of silence. Lance balled his fists at his sides.

"Are you done" Lance asked flatly. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see their faces. Their looks of pity.

"Lance..."

"Are. You. Done" he said through grit teeth.

"Erm, yes" She said softly. Lance let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in, and then reached down and pulled his jacket back on. He ducked his head, stepped off the platform, and then hurried toward the door.

"Lance, wait!" Shiro said. Lance froze, inches from the doorway. "What... where did you get those scars? On your wrist. There- there were so many of them and—" Lance felt himself tense.

"Where do you think" Lance said sharply. With that, he left the room.

He knew that they were going to ask him. Ask why. Why did he do it? Why did he hurt himself?

The truth was...

He didn't know.