Voltron One Shots

Avoiding Regret

Prompt: Plz don't hate me, ;-; can you do a langst prompt where pudge catches Lance self Harming, but he ask her to hide it, and she tries, and then you can go from there,,, idk this would help me vent/cope,,, sorry if it's too much ;-;

Trigger warnings: self harm, blood

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All Pidge wanted to do was find Lance and tell him that it was time for dinner. She had no idea that she was going to walk in and find him sitting on his floor with a knife pressed to his wrist. She had no idea that she'd find his arms covered in bleeding marks and fading scars. Lance's eyes were so wide when he looked up at her that she though his eyes were going to roll out of his head.

"P- Pidge" The knife slid out of his hand and hit the floor. He scrambled to his feet, blood dripping down his arms, leaving puddles on the floor. "I- I- I can explain" he said quickly. Pidge stood motionless in the doorway. She was in shock. "It was- I don't- I mean, I swear it's—" he cut off abruptly and stared at her pleadingly. "Please, Pidge" Lance begged. "Don't tell anyone. Please. I'll never do it again, I swear!" Pidge watched the trail of blood slide down Lance's arm. Lance looked down to see what she was staring at and then tugged down his sleeve.

"Lance... wh- why..." Lance crossed his arms and winced.

"I- I have to" he said quietly. "It's not a problem, I'm not trying to kill myself. I just- I have to do it" Lance's fingers flexed nervously. "It's not a problem" he repeated. "Why- Why are you in here?" he asked, staring at the floor.

"Uh, it'd time to eat..." Pidge trailed off. Lance nodded curtly and then kicked the bloody knife toward the bathroom.

"I'll, um, be there in a minute" he said. Pidge turned to leave, still in a state of shock over what she had just seen. "And Pidge? Please promise me you won't say anything" Lance said before she was completely out the door.

"O- Okay, Lance" She replied with a frown.

~   ~

Pidge tried to keep it a secret, she really did. She wanted to do that for Lance. He seemed so scared when she saw him, scared that she was going to tell on him. But the entire time she was sitting at dinner she thought about how badly this could end. Lance said he wasn't trying to kill himself, but what happened if he changed his mind? Or if he cut too deep? Maybe he wouldn't even do it on purpose. How easy would it be for him to put too much pressure on his wrist and cut through his vein and bleed out. If that happened, it would be partially Pidge's fault. Because she knew but didn't tell anyone.

"Lance, I can't do what you asked me to" She said when she cornered him after dinner. "This isn't something that you should keep from the others, and it's not fair of you to ask me to hide it. I think you should tell someone. We can help you—" Lance's mouth screwed up into a frown.

"I don't need your help" he said as he pushed past her. They were in the hall, she caught him before he got to his room. "It's not a problem, I can stop whenever I want. It just makes me feel better. It's not like it's really hurting me or anything! I'm not trying to—"

"I know! I know..." Pidge clenched her fists and turned to follow him. "I know you say that but- but what if you accidentally hurt yourself? I can't take that chance" she said sadly. "And I hate that you're hurting yourself. That you feel so bad that the only way to feel better is to- to cut yourself—" Lance stopped walking as Pidge's voice broke. "I love you so much, I don't know what I would do without you. I wish there was something I could do to help you but- but I can't. I don't know how"

"It's not your job to help me" Lance said flatly. "I'm fine" He pinched his lips together and shifted his weight.

"Please, I can't keep this a secret. I really wish I could do this one thing for you, but I can't. I don't think it's a good idea. You should tell Shiro. And if you don't- If you don't then I will" She said, lifting her eyes to meet Lances. Lance sucked in a breath. He didn't understand why Pidge was acting this way. Why did she think it was that big of a deal?

"This isn't your problem" Lance said coldly. "It's mine. This has nothing to do with you, so but out" With that he turned and began to stomp toward his room.

"Matt tried to kill himself once" Pidge said suddenly. Lance froze mid-step. "He told me that he had thought about killing himself once, and I ignored it. If I hadn't been at home that day and found him with the knife he- he would be—" Her face went pale.

"Pidge..." Lance said softly. She crossed her arms and frowned. "I had no idea"

"Yeah, well it happened. So, I'm sorry, Lance, but I can't keep this to myself" She said firmly. "I need you to tell Shiro, because I can't let what almost happened to Matt happen to you" Lance hesitated.

"I- I don't—" he inhaled sharply. "I don't know how" he admitted quietly. Pidge took a step closer to him.

"That's okay" she said, comfortingly. "All you have to do is tell him. I can help you. I'll even stay with you while you do if you want"

"You will?" Pidge smiled.

"Yeah, I will" she held out her hand to him. "Come on, we can do it right now, if you want" Lance's eyes widened as he took Pidge's hand.

"R- right now?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, we'll do it really quickly, like pulling off a band aid" she said as they headed toward Shiro's room. "The longer you wait the worse it'll feel" Lance tightened his grip on Pidge's hand as they walked.

"Pidge?" he said. She looked up at him. "I- I don't want to hurt myself" he admitted. "I just feel like- I feel like I have to. To feel better" There was so much fear in Lance's eyes. "But I can't kill myself cause- cause I'm too scared to die" he whispered. Pidge stopped walking and pulled Lance into a bone crushing hug.

"Lance..." she said, tears stinging her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Lance cried into Pidge's shoulder. "I'm sorry I told you not to tell anyone. I was just scared" he sniffed and shuddered.

"It's okay. It's okay, Lance. It's all going to be okay" She assured him.

After the two of them stopped crying they continued onto Shiro's room.

"Are you ready?" Lance straightened up and nodded. He lifted his hand and knocked. Shiro opened the door a few moments later.

"Uh, h- hey, Shiro" Lance said nervously, wiping a tear off his face. Shiro looked from Lance, to Pidge, who was standing right behind him in the doorway.

"Yeah, Lance? What's up?" Lance glanced back at Pidge nervously. She smiled at him encouragingly. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Can I talk to you about something?"