Mythlands: THE HEIST

Part Two: All Hail the Old Ones

A mountain citadel somewhere in the Mythlands.

Loki tutted loudly and took a sip of his morning coffee. Yawning, he pushed his gold horn rimmed spectacles up and rubbed his eyes.

Behind him someone coughed.

The Trickster looked up from his paperwork and the Mordor Wraith shrugged apologetically - it was the only way he could express emotion, what with him being a completely featureless jet black shadow.

'Sorry to disturb you boss, but I really need you to sign these documents.'

The god of evil sighed. 'Is it anything interesting?'

The Wraith shrugged again. 'Afraid not Sir. It's the latest chits from our sub contractors for the Road of Bones. Work is proceeding smoothly by the way. Commandant Goeth is doing a fine job, ahead of schedule to boot ... why they're already halfway through Middle Earth.'

Loki peered at the papers over his spectacles. 'Well at least Amon doth keep costs down ... hmmm more slave labour. He always wants more slaves.'

'It's the most cost effective way my lord. As it is, materials alone for the road system is exhausting our reserve at King Solomon's Mines.'

'Aye, well,send out Hans Gruber and Goldfinger to round up more slaves. Tis true that there hath been trouble with resistance fighters in Oz recently so thou hath mine permission to seize 20,000 citizens for the project. Thou wouldst think the ungrateful wretches would welcome the additions to their ... how say you ... road of yellow brick?'

'Indeed Sir. What about the request regarding the razing of the Shire?'

The trickster looked up. 'Nay! Once again, I say thee nay. Why doth Goeth keep asking ... the man hath no soul.' Suddenly Loki chuckled. 'Any man nor god who hath no appreciation for the amusing nature of hobbits, be bereft of all humours. Besides, mine holiday cottage be a spot of beauty, near the dwelling of the one they call Baggins. Anything else?'

The Wraith consulted his clipboard and shuffled through more papers. 'Yes sire. The Dark Council of Wonderland is voting on drainage and plumbing appropriations and Satan needs your permission to implement his new minion guidelines and Mistress Eris has left a rather curious memo about the Vault of Myth.'

Loki looked up. 'Eh? Read it.'

The Wraith cleared his throat. 'It merely says that the time has come. Chaos will be unleashed and the great old ones will rise.'

The trickster paled. 'Nay, tis surely an untruth! Eris did assure me the old ones were banished to a dimension beyond!'

'If I can refresh your memory sire, they went of their own violition citing that they would return when called upon. It appears they have been called upon.'

'What! Who could be so insane as to ... Eris! She hath betrayed our coalition of evil ... and yet ... initiative be not her strong point. Someone hath tempted her with the notion of utter chaos! But who ...'

DOMAIN CITY

The Mouse cackled with glee. 'Ho ho! All Hail The Old Ones!'

Leo of the Zodiac, held fast by spirits under the command of the Mouse, cried out. 'You won't get away with this you insane rodent! Lord Loki will stop you, as will my Zodiac brothers'

The Mouse grinned and unzipped his fly. Removing his phallus, he proceeded to piss over the dead bodies of Aries, Sagittarius, Pisces and Cancer. 'Look around ... ho ho ... your compatriots are either dead, turned or ha ha captured. Only Taurus is at large with ho ho, the few loyalists you have left ha hah! Isn't that right Captain?'

'Yeah ... the Castle is yours Sir. We're hunting down the last Zodiac loyalists and the intruders as you ordered,' answered the scarred future version of Goldie Lochs.

The Mouse finished urinating and grinned at Leo. 'Thanks to my ... ho ho ... two faced ally here.' He waved a white gloved hand at Gemini who stood next to Scorpio, Libra and Virgo, '... I am going to convert your ha hah, pathetic portal to the so called mortal realm, into one to the ho ho, dark dimension and unleash ha ha, chaos and destruction!!!'

Leo roared in anguish. 'How can you help this madman!'

Gemini smiled. 'My nature is two faced and chaos is in ascendance.'

Libra spoke flatly. 'I have weighed the balance of probability and thus side with the Mouse.'

Scorpio grinned. 'The Mouse may be mad but he is a creature of emotional honesty and his will be a transformative event, so Scorpio sides with him.'

Virgo said nothing, but her fear was apparent to all. Even when The Mouse declared he wasn't to be disturbed for half an hour and grabbing her by the arm, dragged her towards his quarters.