Mythlands: THE HEIST

THE HEIST: Trickster, World Tree and Vegas Baby!

In the Mythlands, there exist certain places which are echoes of the mortal world. These places have become so legendary that they are duplicated elsewhere. One such place is Las Vegas ... but our story doesn't start there, nor does it start in the Realm of the Mythical Creatures, although one of our fur covered friends does play a prominent role.

No, let us start our tale some few hundred leagues from the borders of the domain of the Mythical Creatures and some distance from Myth Vegas.

The Sign of Fafnir, an Inn on the outskirts of the City of Asgard.

'Ah, thy tale of woe rings most familiar, for I too am an outsider, even among my own people.' The hooded man signalled for two more flagons of ale. 'But pray continue my lop eared friend.'

The Hare was already well on the way to becoming severely inebriated. 'He's supposed to be my best friend, but all he does is treat me like a child! It wasn't my fault the place burnt down ... s'not as if I deliberately started the fire! Faulty wiring they said ... not up to code ... and just because I was managing the joint I'm supposed to be ... hic .... reshponshible!'

'A terrible injustice,' commiserated the gaunt, dark haired God.

'What brings thee to fair Asgard?' he added after a moment.

The Hare burped 'Ahhhh. Sorry. Yeah, so good ol Tortoise ... condescending bald green wrinkled ... where wash I? Oh yeah, he says not to worry, sends me to manage one of his casinos in Vegas ... the Lucky Cactus. After the trauma of it, I'm expected to get straight back to work!! No Sir, says I ... vacation first. So good ol Tort says he'd prefer I went straight there, but screw that and screw him. Jess ... did I tell you about Jess?'

'Aye, a most voluptuous redheaded beauty ye said.'

'Yeah. I met her last month ... she sings - classy, nightclub stuff, ya know. Anyway, she agreed to come with and sing in the Sunshine Lounge, but first she had this gig in Asgard and what the hey ... I've never been.'

His companion signalled for more ale as the Hare finished his seventh flagon. 'My new friend, I am concerned for thee.'

'What! Why?'

'Such a woman ... hast thou the coin to impress her?'

'Uh ... I will once I'm there. Damn Tortoise won't give me an advance and all my money's in my car ... lemme tell ya, she loves that car ... red, 1958 cherry red convertible. In the mortal realm it's called a Thunderbird.'

'Thou wilst still need monies methinks, friend Hare. Mayhaps I can help thee, for just the other morn, a friend asked if I knew a stout fellow who wished to make easy coin. All thou needs do is take an item with thee across the border and keep it until my friend can collect. Tis a golden antiquity. No doubt thou has questions ...'

'How much? My share I mean.'

The green eyed man smiled and wrote down a sum.

The Hare's eyes widened. 'Loki, my man, you have yourself a deal!'

WORLD TREE

And so several days later, the Hare, having been assured he was merely a courier for an item, which he would keep, so Loki and his friends could avoid an unjust tax imposed by the cruel and unreasonable authorities, found himself parked by the trunk of a huge tree.

Jessica sat in the car filing her nails. 'How much longer baby?' she inquired of our 'hero.'

The Hare looked at his watch. 'Loki said half past the hour.'

'And you're sure this is on the up n up?'

The Hare looked at her, with impatience tempered only for the way she made him feel when he checked out her smoking hot bod in that figure hugging red evening dress.

'Babe, I already told you. Loki's friend Ida ... or something. The sculptress. She works in gold and centuries ago she made him this apple as a gift.'

'The one the giant Eagle stole?'

'Yeah, apparently it was some joke his brother, the Thunder God played on him. The Eagle swooped down and stole the golden apple and took it to the top of the tree.'

'That tree? It's supposed to go up hundreds of miles isn't it!?'

'Yeah and down hundreds from here too ... if not thousands. Anyway the Eagle lives at the top and he kept the apple. Loki finally got permission from his old man to recover it, but apparently there's some antiquities tax ... 40%. So he's doing it on the quiet. His contact's the last one anyone will suspect ... a messenger guy who goes between the top and the bottom. The plan is to blame the theft on this huge dragon who lives at the bottom. It's perfect .. the Eagle and the Dragon hate each other, see?'

'Ok .... I ... ewwwww, a giant rat!!!'

The Hare glanced upwards.

'Ho!' shouted the creature. 'Be thee O'Hare?' I am Ratatoskr and ... ah apologies my lady for mine appearance. Originally a squirrel I be, but by the fancies of the mortal imaginings and confusion about mine name, I have morphed into the seeming of a rodent and ...'

'Whatever buddy. We're on a schedule here. Do you have the apple?'

'Aye,' answered the messenger of the world tree and threw it down.

The Hare leaped aside and with some difficulty heaved the football sized golden apple into the back seat. Then they were off.

VEGAS BABY!

10 hours later as they hit the desert, the Hare was still feeling jubilant. They'd gotten away with it ... good for nothing screw up, am I Tortoise, he thought as he raced along and took another slug at his bottle of JD.

'Slow down baby!' squealed Jessica.

The Hare's mood was broken and he turned towards her with irritation before ...

***

Crawling from the wreckage, the Hare looked around for Jessica

'Ohmigod, ohmigod.'

He frantically tried to give her CPR ... no pulse, NO PULSE!

Ohmigod. Ohmigod.

The Hare was crying ... panicking ... overwrought. He acted by instinct ... dialling the Tortoise's number. His buddy ... his good old buddy. The Tortoise ... the good old, fantastic Tortoise, would fix everything!