Mythlands: THE HEIST

Pirate Radio and Broken Arrow

' ... and that was the dulcit tones of the Blue Fairy, singing Britney's 'Oops I did it again,' Stay tuned, you're listening to Skull FM, the best Pirate radio station this side of Wonderland. I am your host Mr Smee, saying 'Welcome to the midnight hour.' Coming up, some smooth jazz from the master himself, Dr Syn, making the Mythlands mellow, but first, it's over to the Captain for a late update.'

'Turn that off,' moaned The Hare as they sped back towards the city in Mr Toad's roadster.

Toad glanced over at his friend, sympathetically. Poor chap had been through the wringer. They'd found the wreck of his old thunderbird but no bloomin golden apple. Some nefarious blighter had, had away with it, it seemed!

Vali had told The Hare in no uncertain terms that his father Loki, would not be pleased. They were returning to the casino to 'discuss' the matter. The Asgardian had made the word sound extremely ominous and Grogsmyr the troll standing behind, tapping his club into the palm of his hand, hadn't helped matters.

Mr Toad reached for the dial, but suddenly The Hare told him to wait. The radio had mentioned somthing had happened at the casino.

'... another spot of trouble at Vegas's premiere place to be and where is The Hare? I'm James Hook ... outside the foyer as an ambulance takes away the Golden Goose. I understand he is suffering from severe trauma and is in a catatonic state ... eye witness The Glass Cat, can you tell us what happened?'

'Certainly,' came the velvety smooth tones of The Glass Cat. 'The goose encountered a troll, loose aroond the hoose, so to speak, and speak I shall, excuse my Scots.'

'A troll? We had a report earlier of an incident involving a troll smashing up one of your lounge bar rooms.'

'That is so,' answered the cat.

'The Golden Goose was also involved in the earlier incident?'

'Correct.'

'Where was The Hare in all this?'

'He took off. Quite to where, it's fair to say, I have no clue. Do you?'

'I do not, but it's astounding that the Manager would leave in the middle of a crisis! Does The Hare do this often?'

'I should not say. Not that I could not, but I'm sure he rather I would not.'

'And the troll? Has he been apprehended? We asked to speak to Head of Security Little Bear, but ...'

The cat cut in. 'Alas the cony in charge took him with, out, when he went hither and yon, who knows where ... I suspect, not even The Hare. Nor the bear I'll wager.'

'Hmmm, and the troll?'

'Stunned and tasered, the fight went rough, subdued is he, but bruised a billy goat gruff or three.'

'So The Hare ran out on an unresolved situation and took his head security man with him! Hmmm. Thank you for your insightful comments ... the Glass Cat speaking to us, live from the foyer of the Lucky Cactus, folks, where it seems that once again The Hare lives up to his reputation. This is Captain James Hook reporting for Skull FM. Back to Mr Smee in the studio for some of that old smooth jazz courtesy of the indomitable Dr Syn. Turn up your dial folks!'

The Hare slumped back into his seat, even more depressed.

Mr Toad shook his head. Poor chap. I wish I could cheer him ... hullo, we're coming up on Loonytown.

As per usual, Mr Toad proved incapable of holding a thought for too long. Within moments he was enjoying the jazz from the radio and humming along, as they approached the outskirts of the city.

BROKEN ARROW

Loki settled back into his throne and steepled his fingers. Excellent - Vali had communicated that they were returning to the casino and that The Hare was thoroughly deflated. Ripe for the next part of the grand manipulation that had been in play ever since ...

His mind drifted back six months.

***

'Do you know what the mortal term 'Broken Arrow,' denotes?' he had asked Eris.

'No my Lord.'

'I viewed a most amusing film on the subject recently, on the ... how do you say ... intra net? Anyway the term in this context means that a dangerous weapon is loose in the world and must be retrieved before it fell into the wrong hands.'

'Hands such as ours?' chuckled the goddess of discord.

The Trickster lifted his goblet. 'Exactly, but how to make such weapons lost ... ah there is the rub!'

'What know we of this creature The Tortoise?'

'Much has been discovered this past half a year. I believe I know him inside out ... his characteristics and list of associates is also most revealing. Furthermore I have come to a realisation that the information entrusted this reptile by All Father Odin, thine own sire Zeus and the other Godheads, be close to him but so guarded as to be impossible for the likes of us to understand and extract.'

'What then?'

Loki smiled. 'We need a proxy ... one who may gain entrace to the inner sanctum of the shelled beast, and one who might be manipulated to do our bidding!'