Mythlands: THE HEIST

The Twisted Iguana

The Twisted Iguana was a bit of an oddity. In the few hundred miles of desert south of the Magic Forrest, there was only really Myth Vegas, wasteland, the occasional gas station along the highway ... and the Iguana.

Built sometime in the 1980's as mortals tell time, the inn stroke diner was approximately 60 miles south of the last tree of the Magic Forrest and 40 miles or so into the desert. It was the perfect first stop before committing to the journey to Vegas, or final place to rest and gas up before completing the final leg north towards the Domain.

Today saw visitors from both directions. On his father's request, Little Bear had come north and Big Bruin and Ariel, south.

LB had already been inside admiring the Iguana's principal draw - the rainbow, when he heard the MCI chopper. It was in fact the same famous rainbow that could be seen most clear days over Oz. By a peculiar quirk of nature - something to do with poles and reflective refraction, it could also be seen throughout the day at this one spot hundreds of miles north-east of Oz.

The younger bear walked to the door and waited, shielding his eyes from the hot glare of the sun, twinned with the shimmering colourful rays of the rainbow.

Bruin emerged and stood for a second, shadowed against the helicopter, his tie blowing in the breeze and a pair of specially made grizzly size dark sunglasses shading his eyes. The two bears politely waited for the rotors to stop, so Ariel could fly out, then striding forwards with big grins on their faces the two bears smashed together in a heartfelt embrace.

'Dad! It's good to see you.' LB told Bruin when they had parted.

Bruin placed both hands on his son's shoulders. 'Let me look at you son. You're looking well.'

LB grinned. 'You look like you're putting on weight old man. Too many doughnuts?'

His father returned the grin and clapped LB's shoulder. 'Your mother's cooking. She sends her love.'

A minute or so later, having waited for the bears to complete their small talk, Ariel flew over and landed on Bruin's shoulder. 'Fair greetings of the morn to ye young Master Bear.'

Affecting a mock bow, LB returned the greeting. 'A good dawning to thee Mistress Ariel.'

'Twould be a merry meeting indeed Sirrah, if not for these distempered miscreants.'

For the first time, LB noticed that two tall black suited men with shades had exited from the helicopter. The animal headed one spoke. 'You have one hour exactly Mr Bruin. Then we need to depart.'

Bruin waved a paw in irritation. 'Yes, I know Leo. Now leave me alone to talk to my son. You and Gemini can wait here.'

Walking inside they were greeted by the owner, a former member of the Chess-Set, Ivory Pawn 8 or as he was known more informally IP8.

'Good morning Chief Bruin. It's been a while. Your usual?'

'Thanks IP8 and a side salad.'

'Two bear size steaks with all the trimmings coming up, with a sliver cut off for Miss Ariel. Take a seat and I'll send over some coffee.'

Little Bear got straight to business. 'Dad, is it as bad as they say?'

'Worse son. Whatever was on that file, that The Hare copied, it's big. Big enough to make The Tortoise panic and unleash the Zodiac. Well that backfired in a big way. They've declared martial law, sealed the city and confined him ... for his own protection they say. We're only at liberty ... with an escort, because Ariel and I convinced Cancer we're still of use to him. That the authorities in Elephantland and elsewhere are more likely to cooperate with us, than if his bully boys went storming in.'

'So how can I help?' asked LB, glancing at Ariel and suppressing the smile that was developing at the idea of Ariel being reasoned and convincing. Dad was being polite including her as Ariel was more likely to scream obscenities at Cancer while blasting him in the face with her fey fire. At best the almost 7 foot grizzly had restrained his six inch tall partner from completely losing it.

'We need to know The Hare's movements leading up to the shareholders meeting and the theft. What we do know is that The Glass Cat arranged for our security to be deactivated for a seven minute window, allowing Hare to use his access to gain entry to the CEO's office and hack the computer, in order to copy this mysterious file. Actually he may have had a password, possibly obtained from the inside by Renard the Fox.'

LB shook his head. 'I still can't believe it. I know the bos ... uh Hare has had a troubled past, but he's a good man.'

'Son, he violently attacked the Two of Hearts. After the Two woke from his coma, he identified The Hare and Renard. What's most troubling is that Renard was a board member and this indicates this ... heist was pre planned, maybe quite some time ago. The Tortoise believes his old friend was the victim of coercion but ...'

Ariel interrupted. 'Our lord is a kindly beast, but one who hath too soft a heart. This ... unctuous Hare is a foul dissembling betrayer. There be no words to describe mine fury at this bootless muddy-mettled clotpiece! A curse be upon him and pon all his house!'

There was silence for a minute or so as the coffee arrived. Then Bruin spoke again.

'So we know what happened in Domain City and we know that before the Two woke up and identified him, The Hare took his jet west to Celesteville, supposedly to attend the celebration there. This was verified by the fact that Mr Toad was aboard, as well as Renard and some others - we have a positive identification on an Asgardian god called Vali. What we don't know is events leading up to ...'

The younger bear sat up. 'Vali! I think I have your connection. This has to be something to do with the golden apple!'

'Explain son.'

'This Vali showed up at the Cactus with a few trolls, caused some trouble. It turns out Hare was supposed to be keeping an Asgardian artifact safe ... the golden apple. Well all hell breaks loose when Vali finds out The Hare hasn't got the apple and we end up racing out into the desert to find the wreck of Hare's car, which supposedly has the artifact in the trunk. It's not there though and Vali was fuming - told The Hare he owed his father, Loki, a great obligation.'

'Loki? This is starting to add up - an obligation and the presence of Vali in DC indicates ...'

'Tis Loki who be the puppet master,' finished the fey. 'The trickster god is a grand manipulator who hath the weak willed poltroon known as The Hare in his power!'

'I think we're on to something partner and now I recall, wasn't Hare's old girlfriend at the site of that crash?'

'Aye, the buxom young lass, Mistress Jessica. She of the fiery tresses.'

'Who was reported as being aboard Hare Force One and spotted with him in the city at Picnics Bar!'

'So what next dad?'

Bruin looked into his son's eyes as the steaks arrived. 'We have warrants for the extradition of Hare and other suspects. Our escort has prepped transport to follow them to Elephantland and beyond if need be.'