Mythlands: THE HEIST

Styrr's Feast

Slightly earlier.

The trolls instructions were clear. They had come to get a golden apple, the size of a human head ... Styrr had to ask seven times before he got that they weren't actually after human heads. The second instruction was not to touch anything in the casino.

'This stupid,' thought Styrr. 'How get, if not touch!?'

'You ignorant not-town troll,' Grogsmyr had retorted. 'Can touch apple, not touch other ... everythings.'

Styrr frowned. 'Hey, how you hear thinkings? Grogsmyr is wi wiii wiizzarr ... magic man?'

The sophisticated city dwelling troll scratched his arse. 'Not thinkings. Styrr say out loud ... with voice.'

Grogsmyr thought he was so clever, just because he came from big city ... but cass eeno made hamlet of Hruntingsdal (population 47. Major industry, fishing in Hrunting River) like ... like ... small not people living thing.

Styrr had had enough and decided to take the initiative ... and follow a delicious smell. 'Styrr get goldy apple. Vali be pleased and give many bear pelts as reward.'

The city troll looked fearful. 'No! Vali ... god from Asgard. He say no go nowhere while he is in room for men!' He glanced over at the door with the shape of a man on it, wondering what magic lay within.

Styrr stuck up a claw in a universally recognized troll gesture of rudeness. 'Hah, if Vali god, why he go room for mens! Styrr go.'

***

Styrr had seen many astounding sights since the god had taken them over the rainbow bridge and to this amazing place, but it was not good to see ... too much light that hurt his eyes. Fortunately the smells were coming from beyond a doorway where the lights were off except a few small ones, that moved with beautiful, darting colours across the room. Nice music was playing too.

***

The Golden Goose looked across the dance floor. A few people had already come down to the Skylight rooms - the lighting and music were sublime and the buffet ready and waiting. His first night as Events Manager was going to be ... eventful. There was already a rather large gentleman approaching the buffet ... first customer of the evening. The Goose decided he'd do one more walk-around to check the decor, then go over to greet the newcomer.

***

'Good evening Sir. My name is Brer Rabbit and I will be your server this evening. Can I offer you some cold cuts?'

Styrr stared in wonder. This must be how the gods eat ... should he start with the large talking rabbit or ... no, Vali had warned him to leave the beasts alone. He would have these ... 'Cold cuts.'

A few moments later he found a plate thrust into his hands, but refused the silver fork ... not to touch, he remembered. The meat tasted nice and the plate was crunchy, but he wasn't sure he liked it.

Styrr wanted more but no plate. As he couldn't touch the forks, he plunged one hand into a bowl of curried chicken and the other into a red jelly and shovelled food into his maw. Faster and faster he grabbed and stuffed, grabbed and slurped and licked and crunched. Actually if you mix the crunchy plates with the hot saucey meats, they weren't so bad.

'Excuse me!'

A round blobby thing swam into his vision ... it glowed like ... gold!

'APPLE!!!' roared Styrr and flung himself at the startled golden goose.

Brer Rabbit, already left in stunned amazement as the troll had demolished his buffet, leaped aside as Styrr's tail swung and wrecked what remained of the food tables.

'Now Styrr be big hero ... get apple!' thought Styrr or rather he shouted it aloud as he chased the panicking goose across the dance-floor as a mortal song entitled 'Relight my fire,' played.

The goose skidded under some tables, which Styrr smashed aside. 'Stupid tables made of white not wood stuff!' shouted the troll.

'Where apple??'

Then he saw the goose nip behind another of the light not wood tables, but this one was black and longer. In anger Styrr tried to smash it aside ... but it refused to smash and hurt his hairy fist. He smashed it again and broke off a claw.

Screaming with rage and frustration Styrr head-butted the solid marble top of the bar and knocked himself out!

The Golden Goose cautiously emerged some moments later. 'Rabbit!!!'

'Y yes Sir?' called out Brer Rabbit from where he was hiding behind the wreck of the buffet.

'Call security!!!'