Mythlands: THE HEIST

Part Two: Cabin in the woods

There was a time, back in the 1960's as the mortal world measurements went, when The Golden Goose had felt hunted and harassed. Although he knew and his friends knew, that his fabled golden eggs could barely produce enough value each month to cover his rent, food and the odd bottle of whiskey, to the Mythlands at large, he was ... a golden goose. For years egg hunters had sought him, attempting to lock him up in a cage to crap out his golden eggs and make them what they thought would be a fortune.

In response to this, the goose had learned several skills in his own self defense - he mastered many weapons, most prominently firearms with his dexterous wingtips and also learned how to make bombs. This started in a small way, but eventually the goose added electronics to his repertoire and became something of a demolitions expert.

However, following a series of unfortunate encounters with persistent egg hunters, the Golden Goose had eventually sunk into a deep depression. In the early 1960's he had learnt of his one and only doppler, a Japanese version - seeking this kindred spirit out, he discovered to his horror that the Japanese Golden Goose had also been depressed and had swallowed three bottles of sleeping pills and ended his own life. The Goose had felt like doing the same, but something stopped him - a deep and abiding rage and determination to not let those egg hunting bastards win!

So instead he fled city life and isolated himself out in the woods ... or deep within the Magic Forrest to be precise. Constructing a fair sized cabin in an idyllic glade was no mean feat for a flightless avian bird such as himself, even one so large and dexterous, but the Goose was nothing if not determined and not only did he build his new home, but he set up crude traps and early warning devices around it.

Thus settled in, with a cache of weapons, the Golden Goose remained in seclusion for several years, unbothered by egg hunters and living the rustic outdoorsy life. He never realised how much he hated this until the day his old friend The Hare came roaring up on a Harley Davidson, disturbing the peace of his glade. This was in the year 1969.

The Hare had a scheme ... one where he guaranteed his close friend riches and notoriety while being protected. They were going to be grifters in the newly arrived city of Myth Vegas. Of course it all went horribly wrong, but that my friends is another story.

As a result, The Golden Goose re-acclimated to city living and never returned to his woodland cottage ... permanently. After all it was primo real estate and very secluded. So the goose occasionally returned whenever he needed a break, or as on one extended three month visit, when he thought he wanted to become a writer, to cut himself off from all distractions and write the Great Mythlandian Novel.

After 3 months he had what he considered 289 pages of crap and gave up on that idea, but he continued to occasionally retreat to his cabin and over the decades as the Golden Goose added to his electronics skill and became an expert with computers, he gradually laid down an upgraded security system that was quite a lot more sophisticated than it had been back in the sixties.

It was here, by dint of magical speed assistance and deft use of short cuts that the talking animal survivor, traveled to. While the demon sought its prey, the observer bypassed the physical traps that remained and entered into the goose's property by the back entrance. He then set his hoofs to work, powering up and initiating the defensive system, leaving only a path that was open from the front.

Then, he switched on the television monitors and tracked the progress of The Hares and their party.

At the edge of the glade was a pool filled with fish and at the bottom of that pool was several hundred mini tridents attached to a net on a spring loaded release. Warning signs declared that all visitors should halt at the entrance point and press the intercom - anybody who failed to do so would trigger the tridents and find themselves at the very least covered with restraining netting and quite possibly impaled by a few of the things. While the odds of serious harm were low, getting tangled in nets was not such a good idea with the demon on their trail.

So the observer deactivated that particular physical trap, which could only be done by intent and from within the control room.

Then he activated the hailing system.

*

On the approach Cottontail was the first to see a bank of lights flare up, but before the party could react, a voice issued from hidden speakers placed in nearby trees.

'HARE AND PARTY ... BOTH OF YOU. I HAVE DEACTIVATED THE DEFENSE PERIMETER BUT YOU ARE BEING PURSUED BY THE DEMON. MOVE SWIFTLY AND COME INSIDE.'

Both Hares stopped short, having been struck by the familiarity of the voice.

'Is that?'

'No time kid!' declared Future Hare. 'Get Cottontail, Goldie and the others inside. I suspected we'd run into the demon and it's long past time we had ourselves a tete ah tete!'

'What? Speak English for Christ's sake!'

'What has Jesus got to do with it? I haven't seen him for years!'

The Hare moaned. 'Ohmigod, I Really have turned insane and developed a death wish!'

Future Hare pushed his past self past. 'Run like hell kid. I'll hold this bastard off,' and striking a match he lit another cigar, placed it in his mouth and with his black fingerless leather glove covered hands reached down into the sack.

Cottontail turned back when she and the others reached the door, looking for the two Hares. She saw Hare stumbling towards her at a run and her Hare standing by the pool, holding something large up above his head.

'Ohmigod! He's doing it again.'

Hare stumbled across the thresh-hold. 'I couldn't stop him. He got all macho and suddenly started talking about settling a score!'

Cottontail groaned. 'He's still standing there - the idiot could have made it. We all could have been safely inside and the defenses up but now he's outside facing that ...'

'It's called the Kanda ...' began a voice behind her.

The demon floated above Future Hare and screeched in delight.

'Well well, if it isn't the Candy Bar Demon!' Future Hare grinned. 'I've been waiting a long time for this rematch!'

The demon's form shimmered and seemed insubstantial. 'HARE! YOU WILL DIEEEEE. RIP YOUUUUU, SHRED YOU. HAH HARRRR. YOUR PRESENCE HAS AWAKENED US AND NOW YOU ...'

'Shut it Candy Bar, I'm sending you back to hell!' Future Hare hefted the object he had taken from the bag. 'Recognize this you filthy bag of pus? This is for my buddy Ash!!'

He started the chainsaw.

*

Inside the cabin, the Rabbitz, Hare, Goldie and The Gingerbread Man stared out of the window in horror.

Cottontail was beside herself. 'The idiot! The stupid acorn brained idiot! He'll die out there!' tears were streaking down her face.

'Miss Cottontail, is it?'

Cottontail turned.

'There's still a chance. The demon is in possessed human form. It's vulnerable .... if anyone can kill its body, Hare can and then we'll get away before it can reform. I promised him ... one of him, that I'd guide you safely out the other side.'

Hare looked at the small talking deer. 'Hey I know you! Dandy!!'

'Bambi,' corrected Bambi. And then they all turned back towards the window.