Mythlands: THE HEIST

The Key

'You look like shit.'

The Hare groaned. 'I feel like it. I haven't had any proper sleep in over a week. Are you sure this place is safe?'

'Picnics? It's like a warren in here. I thought you'd feel at home.'

The Hare gave her a look. 'Very funny Jess. I thought this was a teddy bear bar. Won't we stand out?'

'You obviously weren't paying attention on the way in. Everybody in DC drinks in the Picnic Bar and where else would a horny hare who loves booze come for a reconciliation drink with his ex ... don't get any ideas though,' she added as The Hare's drooping ears suddenly perked up. 'This is strictly business. Anyway, talking of not standing out, when was the last time you had a shave? You need to fix that before you end up looking like Zeus.'

'Don't talk to me about those arsehole dieties. They're all in on it at some level.'

Jessica leaned forward. 'Alright, I'm going to order us some drinks so nobody starts wondering what The Hare is doing sitting in a bar without a drink. Then you're going to tell me what you learned.' She raised a hand.

The Hare was still looking miserable, but the suggestion of a drink cheered him up a bit. 'Excellent idea, I'll have ...'

'I know what you like,' Jessica said coyly as a small brown teddy bear in a white apron approached. 'Evening Schlomo. Two Macallans neat and can we see your food menu.'

'Coming right up Jessica and may I say, vhat a pleasure it is to see you again. Oy, you're like a tonic to these old eyes. Vill you be in town long my dear?'

'I'm not sure, but good to see you too,' Jessica leaned down and kissed the small bear on the top of his head, next to his kippah. He happily trotted off to get the whiskeys.

The Hare was puzzled. 'We're having food? And why was he talking like Fagin? Was he wearing a yamulke? You'd think what with all the gods and everything, that these religionists would die out.'

Jessica sighed. 'We're eating because A, I'm hungry and B it looks less like a suspicious meeting to hand over a purloined file on a pen drive that way. As for the rest, Schlomo and the majority of the 200 or so teddy bears from their picnic decided that every one of them being called Teddy Bear was a non starter. They reinvented themselves and gave themselves names and identities, a fact that shouldn't ought to surprise you Mr O'Hare! At least the teddys had the good grace to start from scratch and not pretend they were ... oh, say, Irish or something ... in the first place!'

The Hare had the good grace to look abashed but there was still a bit of his old spark left. 'I never assumed an accent though. Schlomo sounds more like Fagin than Fagin does ... and I should know. Fagin was an old drinking buddy of mine!'

'Shut up, he's coming back.'

Schlomo and a second bear approached. The second bear was pulling a portable short step, which Schlomo climbed onto with the drinks tray. The second bear pressed a button and the step platform raised to table level so the bear could serve their drinks and hand over menus.

Jessica waited until he had gone and resolved to try to be more business-like and less snappy with The Hare. She was still kicking herself for that flirty 'I know what you like,' line. Where had that come from? Hopefully he had never noticed.

'... and The Zodiac wanted to lock down the building,' Hare was saying. 'The fact that Tortoise is giving them free reign ... that's bad enough, but they want to interview everyone that was there, including board members! Ol Tort over ruled Cancer and said we could leave, but he has insisted that everybody stay in the city until they're ruled out. Babar is furious ... can't blame him. He is a King after all.'

'Tell me what you started to say about the gods. You spoke when I mentioned Zeus and that could be an important link. The Magic Mirror suspects a Greek connection.'

The Hare sipped his single malt and let out a deep sigh. 'Ahhhh. All I know is that there's some kind of key that's needed to decode the Scarab file fully. They told me to wait around so I pretended to be asleep while Renard and some others I didn't recognize, had a go at cracking the code. They said something about a Vault and mentioned levels and guards. The Medusa was named. Hey, that's one of them Greek, Olympian whatchamacallits isn't it?'

'Yes, nasty character. Apparently if you look directly at her, you turn to stone. Anything else?'

The Hare shivered. 'They spoke to Loki and he told them I was still needed and that i'd be instrumental in helping unleash chaos, but ...'

'Go on.'

'He said it in a strange way, like Chaos was a person. He said his friend chaos would unleash her namesake, but first they needed to assemble a team once they know where it is ... this vault I think.'

'A team? For what? Did he mention any names?'

The Hare gulped the rest of his whiskey down. 'Yes, mine. He said he wasn't done with me yet and I would see it through to the end, along with one other.'

Jessica leaned forward. 'One other? Any more details?'

The Hare shivered. 'All I know is this. They're going to recruit a team for what sounds like ... a heist on this vault. So far there's just two of us. Me and someone they describe as ... The Weapon! Now I don't know about you Jess, but this is gods and monster stuff, even without all these prophesies of doom. Someone called The Weapon? I don't even want to imagine what kind of badass demonic frightshow that'll turn out to be!'

'Well you don't really have a choice Hare. We need you to find out more ... who's involved, what exactly the vault is and if they discover a key to deciphering the data file, we'll need it too, though of course our people will be working on it without and ... sorry, getting distracted by the television. Schlomo!'

The teddy bear was approaching to take their order. He looked back at the bar behind him. 'You vhant I should change ze channel?'

'No, could you turn it up.'

Schlomo shrugged and went to do so.

'Jess, what is it?'

'Look.'

On the screen a yellow fuzzy bird was being interviewed.

'We're here with noted Humanologist Professor C Licken. Professor, you're known for your researches into the mortal realm and we've interviewed you several times before about the habits and behaviours of the so called 'Real Worlders.' Today though, I believe you have something else to tell us?'

Chicken-Licken grabbed the microphone. 'Yes, my premonitions have returned. I've seen the end of everything! The Sky!! The Sky will fall! The Vault will open and the sky will fall!!!'

Jessica and The Hare looked at each other.