Mythlands: THE HEIST

Dog Day Afternoon

Dog Day Afternoon - Ahead a day.

Have you ever seen a dog in a suit? It's a ridiculous notion, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong now. I ain't no speciesist, no Sir. Not with my background. Ask anyone, they'll tell ya. Chee-Chee's all right, they'll say. That monk is the real deal they'll say. Back home I mixed with all sorts ... pigs, parrots, ducks, owls an of course my old pal Jip. Yessiree, we came in all forms back with the Doctor.

'Mr Chee-Chee, can you please pay attention. We need the answers to some very important questions.'

Chee-Chee looked up. 'I'm sorry fella, was I internally monologuing again? It's been a hard day's night, yes Sir.'

'Please stay focused Sir. There was a serious breach here at MCI last night and we need to get to the bottom of it. I'll ask you again, if you have anything to tell us.'

Chee-Chee looked up at the huge furry form in front of him. 'Mr Papa Bear Sir. I'll tell ya everything I know. That's the way the Doc raised us an I for one am a proud follower of the Doolittle way. Have ya talked to Jip?'

'Firstly Mr Chee-Chee, nobody calls me Papa Bear anymore. My name is Big Bruin and I am the Head of Security here at the Castle. Your friend is being interviewed in the other room.'

'Have ya taken his suit from him? It's damned unnatural dressing up a dog like that, I say ... a four legged one anyhow. I ain't no speciesist, but then Jip ain't no whatchamacallit ... upright dog.'

Ariel flittered into the monkey's sight. 'Cease thy prattle addled witted simian. Answers must we have!'

Big Bruin sighed. 'Mr Chee-Chee, it's in your best interests to co-operate.'

'Call for Doctor Doolittle Mr Big Grizzly! He's tell ya ol Chee-Chee's square, but first tell me ya took the suit offa that durn old fool of a dog, Jip. It ain't right teaching an old hound new tricks ... or clothing whathaveya.'

Big Bruin, his white shirt sleeves rolled up, placed both knuckles face down on the table. 'What we're interested in is the identity of the individual or group of individuals who bribed Jip. Who gave him the specially tailored armani?'

'Bah!' declared Ariel. 'Let me use pixie dust on this lily livered chimp!'

'Now now Ariel. You know that's not how we do things.'

Ariel buzzed the monkey again. ' Come Sirrah. While you live, tell truth and shame the Devil!'

Big Bruin leaned in as well, so Chee-Chee had both a large bear and a tiny winged fey in his face. 'Here are the facts. Last night person or persons unknown bribed your friend Jip and had him cut off all security and alarms for a period of seven minutes. During that time somebody breached our main server and downloaded confidential files. By your own admission Jip is simple minded and therefore incapable of following technical instructions. That means somebody else in the central camera room did the deed and only the pair of you were pulling the midnight shift!'

'Aye,' added Ariel. 'And there be still the matter of the deposit of 25 thousand in thy account this morn.'

'A gift from The Doctor!' protested Chee-Chee.

'Strange how we can't seem to locate this Doctor Doolittle.'

'Fie on thee monk!' screamed Ariel. 'Bruin and I shall retire and sup our morning coffees. We shall return within the hour and if thou hast not signed these sheets before ye, to indicate willingness to reveal all, in return for clemency, then all deals shall hence be off of the table and rot in gaol, thy shalt!'

They left the room and Chee-Chee, legs pulled up to his chin began to moan and rock back and forwards. 'I'm dumb as a bag of rocks ta be sure,' he muttered to himself. 'Easy money they said and no chance they'll catch ol Chee-Chee they said. Durn it, the Doc always did say I shouldn't be out on my own and ol Jip's even dumber! Damn them for the suit an teaching an ol dog ta dress up real nice. Weren't for that, I wouldn't have taken the money and now it's jail for ol Chee-Chee!! Gotta be I reckon. Rather that than cross em ... no Sir, I ain't gonna risk riling no cats, specially that ornery reflective fella!!'