After his mother's death, Louis begins to fall apart. Between his grief, the pressure to stay strong for his siblings and the stress of debuting his solo career, it all just becomes too much for him to handle.
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I arrive at Louis' place late in the afternoon. He flew in a few hours ago, a couple days before the Brits, because he's planning to attend, but we decided to schedule a slip for a few days beforehand. The one night times seem to be working, but Liam and I thought it may be helpful for him to spend a bit more time little, so he's going into headspace today and hopefully not coming out until the 21st or 22nd. I'm taking care of him for the first little bit, but Liam's joining us soon and I think Niall might even come by for a little while.
Louis welcomes me in, bringing me straight up to his room.
"We're going to start right away. I'd like to be feeling fully little by the time we eat dinner. That okay with you?"
I nod, surprised. "Yeah, that's fine. What're we having for dinner?"
"Takeout of some kind. I dunno. Whatever you feel like having." He pulls out a plastic bin of nappies and changing supplies from under his bed and carries it into the bathroom. "Here. Let's get this going, yeah?"
"Sure. Lay down then, Lou. I'll get you changed and we can go downstairs and play for a little before dinner, does that sound nice?" I guide him to lay on a towel on the floor, slipping immediately into my caregiving role.
Louis lies pretty still as I change him, and I notice that he purposefully averts his eyes. I suppose it would be somewhat awkward, but I make sure to talk gently to him the whole time to help him slip faster. Once he's got a nappy on, I put some flannel PJ pants on him as well as a soft tshirt, then lift him onto my hip as best as I can.
"Alright, shall we go play for a little, boo? I brought you a surprise that I think you'll like."
"Uh, can I have a dummy, Papa?" Louis asks shyly, hiding his face in my shoulder.
"Of course, Lou. Aw, don't be shy. Here, here's a dummy for you." I grab a green dummy with a football on the front off his dresser and hold it out for him. He takes it and slides it into his mouth, then snuggles back into my shoulder. It's weird to see him so shy around me, but I guess the vulnerability of becoming little would do it for him.
Downstairs, I set Louis on the floor in the living room and grab my backpack, which contains the surprise I brought.
"Here, Loubear, would you like to know what your surprise is?" I set the bag down carefully, trying not to make noises that will reveal what's in it.
He looks over at me curiously. "A surprise?" He tilts his head and slides forward on the floor a little towards where I'm kneeling with the bag.
"Yeah, I brought you a surprise. Do you want to open it?" I'm almost wishing I had wrapped it, just so it would be a little bit more exciting, but I guess this will work. He still has to unzip the backpack.
Louis nods hesitantly, looking at me as he reaches for the bag. He seems nervous, and I guess that makes sense. I'm introducing something new into this, which hasn't happened in a while. We don't exactly have the greatest track record in terms of buying stuff for him either. I recall him being highly unimpressed with the onesies we got him. But I think he'll like this.
I watch as he undoes the zipper and pulls the front of the bag down to reveal a package of blocks
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