Chapter 18

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He'sgone! Now I can think over everything in peace...    

Louis' POV

I'm so confused. I get the lads are worried about me. I'd probably be a little worried too, but I'm fine. I've got everything under control for the most part. I definitely don't need to be taken care of like a baby! And they didn't even give me any say; my best mates are just going to force this on me! Sitting there listening to their discussion I kind of felt like a little kid waiting for the adults to stop talking; my opinion didn't matter at all and when they did pay attention to me, they were all just a little too sweet towards me. I didn't like it at all, it made me feel useless. I'm just so frustrated! I really don't want to do this whole ageplay thing.

I'm feeling even more stressed than before, and confused and frustrated, and I kind of want to curl up in a ball and cry, but that would be giving in to the idea that I need to be treated like a child. My usual first instinct when I'm feeling like this is to call someone and talk it out, usually one of the lads, but that's not an option given that they are the problem here. Or Danielle, but she's not an option either. Sometimes I call my mum...

I wish I could call my mum right now. I miss her. I miss our relationship, how close we have always been. I miss our conversations that could last for hours, and her always helpful advice.

Thinking about her is making me feel sad on top of everything else, and I can't stop a couple tears from falling.

I need to talk to someone, but who? I could call Lottie, but I don't want to upset her. No, I can't. I need to stay her strong older brother. Even though I usually tell her everything, I don't want to make myself this vulnerable in front of her this time.

I'm starting to feel really lonely; there's literally no one I can call and talk to about my situation right now. Suddenly, I realize there is one person, who I haven't really talked to recently, but who would probably be willing to talk. I pull out my phone and send a text request a Skype conversation ASAP if it's okay, and mere minutes later the call comes. I pull it up on my phone because it's more portable.

"Zayn" I nearly sob his name, overwhelmed with all the emotions and the relief of having someone to talk to.

"Louis! This is a surprise! Is everything alright?" He questions, his expression quickly changing from pleasantly surprised to concerned.

"I..." I can't talk. I don't know how to explain this. Do I tell him everything? Do I tell him anything? Maybe this was a bad idea...after all, we haven't actually talked in almost a year. Yeah, I shouldn't have done this. I should just hang up.

"Louis? What's wrong, mate? It's okay, you can tell me" Okay, maybe I can tell him everything. I'm just so confused, I need to talk it out.

"The others, they..." I trail off, still not sure how to explain myself.

"It's alright, take your time" Why is he being so nice? I haven't talked to him in ages, and here I am, almost crying, making no sense, and he's just sitting there patiently! "What about the others?"

"Um. They're worried 'bout me"

"Why are they worried, Lou? I mean, I'm kinda worried right now, because you look really upset, but something tells me there's more to this story"

"I-I guess they don't think I'm taking care of my-yself, an'....and..." I say, my voice cracking a few times as I fight back the tears that want to overflow at the thought of telling Zayn about our earlier conversation.

"It's okay if you need to cry, Louis, I won't judge ya. What else is goin' on?"

"We were all talkin' on Skype, an-and they said they were worried, and then..." I pause to take a deep breath in a futile attempt to stop myself from crying, but it doesn't help and the tears start falling. "Zee...they...they said...th-they're gonna treat me like a-a baby" I'm full out sobbing now, unable to control myself. Everything is so overwhelming, and I'm embarrassed for crying so hard in front of Zayn, but I just keep crying harder and harder, and it's getting hard to breathe.

"Lou-Louis! Shh, you're alright. Can you calm down for me?" I'm trying but I can't. I can't breathe right, and I know where this is going to lead.

"I-I'm gonna go" I don't want Zayn to witness me break down like I know is about to happen.

"No, Lou. I need you to stay on the line. Don't go, I need to know that you're going to be okay" Fine, then I need to calm down. I need to calm down now!

Zayn's POV

I was confused when Louis texted me asking to talk, and more so when he was upset. Now I'm worried. I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me, but whatever it was, he's worked up and crying so hard he's almost hyperventilating. He looks panicked, and I don't know what to do. What do I do?

"Louis?" The only response I get is more sobs. "Louis, you need to breathe. You're alright, I'm here"

I don't know what to do. I've never seen him like this. He looks so upset and vulnerable, and I wish I was with him, because I don't know how to comfort him through a screen. His breathing is too fast and shallow, getting worse by the second, and I'm starting to panic. What can I do? I don't know how to deal with this. Although... I could text Liam, because I have a feeling that breakdowns like this are at least part of the reason the lads are worried, and he'll probably know what to do. I send him a quick message:

Z: On Skype with Lou, he's really upset. What do I do?

Li: Is he breathing?

Z: Not really

Li: He's gonna puke. Send him to the loo

Oh shit, I don't like the sounds of this. Louis' crying hasn't slowed at all though, so I'm not surprised.

"Louis, can you hear me?" He only nods in response. "I need you to take your phone and go to the bathroom for me. Can you do that?"

He's shaking and sobbing, but picks up his phone and I can see the image on the screen moving jerkily as he walks.

"You're okay, bud. Just try to breathe for me"

Liam texts me again.

Li: Stay calm, talk quietly, tell him to breathe

What happened?

Z: Tell ya l8r

I don't want to split my attention between conversations, I need to focus on Louis, who has made it to the bathroom. His phone seems to be set on the vanity and I can see him sitting on the edge of the bathtub, leaning against the wall.

"It's okay, Lou, you're going to be alright. Shh, just breathe" I'm trying to calm him down, but he's still sobbing hard. Suddenly he gags, and lurches forward, falling to his knees, out of my view.

Shit, he's going to puke. I know he hates throwing up, especially alone, and I can't do anything.

"Shh, it's okay Lou. Just let it happen, you're alright" I hear him sobbing, then gagging, and the splash of vomit hitting water. "Hey, you're okay. I'm still here, you're gonna be alright"

When he stops, he grabs his phone, and I can see the distressed look in his eyes.

"S-sorry" he whimpers.

"Hey, shh. Just breathe, you're alright" Slowly, he manages to get his breath back. "What was all that, Lou?"

"Sorry...I-I just...I don't..." He looks lost.

"It's alright. Do you want to talk about it, or is that a bad idea?"

"Talk..."

I spend the next ten minutes trying to figure out exactly what has him this upset without triggering too many more tears. The best I can understand is that Harry, Liam, and Niall have become really worried about him and have decided that the best thing to do is start something called ageplay and treat Louis like a baby. Louis isn't happy about it, and frustrated that they don't seem to care about his opinion.

Eventually, Louis seems to be done talking and exhausted, so I say goodbye to him, telling him he can call me anytime. After hanging up, I text Liam, explaining that Louis was upset about the ageplay thing, and that I'm not sure I like the idea. If it's this upsetting to Louis, I don't think it's a good choice, but Liam insists that it's the best thing for him.

This is kind of a filler chapter, sorry, but I need to think about the next chapter a little more, so here's something in between.

What do you think of Louis calling Zayn? What do you want to see come out of their conversation in the future?

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