i'll wait: c.b | ✔

Chapter 54 "it's dysfunctional"

"What am I going to do?! I'm an awful person, everybody is gonna know, my life is going to crumble-"

"Briana!" Rachel yelled, snapping me out of my overthinking moment. "You will be fine, honestly. I've heard of girls who have done way worse" Rachel attempted to reassure me but kind of failed, my eyes rolling in her direction.

"I hate myself. How could I do something like this?" I fell to my knees dramatically, staring up at the ceiling with my hands clasped together, a worried expression on my face.

"Look, it's not that bad and unless you're hoping for the ceiling to say something, I suggest you get up and chill. You're beating yourself up when you should be talking to him" Rachel crunched a cookie between her teeth, the sound being the only thing to be heard.

"Where did you get those?" My finger pointed at the packet of cookies next to her, some crumbs on the couch.

"Oh they were in the cupboard, I didn't know you guys liked chocolate chip cookies so much-"

"I think those are Brennen's you thief" I snatched the packet away from her, smirking as her mouth dropped open, annoyed I took away her snack.

"Now listen to me!" I pleaded, plopping down next to her with puppy eyes, hoping she would understand me.

"Okay okay, I am. Hit me wit' it" Her hands did a 'bring it on' movement. I blew a puff of air out of my mouth, calming myself a little.

"Alright, the reason this is so bad is because Brennen and Colby are still in an argument, I'm still in an argument with Colby and I kissed his and my best friend. What kind of fucked up situation is this?!" My hands flew around, exaggerating my issues. Rachel made a duckface in thought, processing what I just said.

"And you expect me to understand this because?"

"Come on, Rach! Help me" I grabbed her hand, pouting.

"Alright Alright, So this is worse than I thought-"

"So not helpful!" My arms crossed harshly across my chest. I had a face like an angry toddler.

"Briana I don't know what you want me to say. My advice would be to talk to him. That's the only thing you can do" She put her hands on my shoulders, trying her best to reassure me but the reassurance was fading and instead fear was creeping in ever so slightly.

"But I can't! I can't face him and tell him because he'll be absolutely crushed to smithereens"

"Since when did you say 'smithereens'?" She had a questioning look on her.

"Just shut up. You aren't helping" I huffed, laying back into the couch.

"Where's Brennen? I'm sure his advice was or would be better" Rachel got up to get the cookies again, munching on them. You know, they aren't really your best friend if they don't come to your place and eat your food that you didn't even know they knew where it was.

"He's with some friends. He told me to go talk to Colby at the Trap House but-"

"No buts! Go now, I'll come with. I wanna see Circa" Rachel clapped her hands, getting up and dusting off the many crumbs that occupied her lap during her munching session. A sigh of defeat released from me, without thought, making me grab my keys and leave. Rachel told me to text him, to make sure he was there. So I did, and I could tell he knew something was up. Maybe he was just assuming I was coming to resolve our argument. I just hoped he wasn't in a good mood, otherwise it'll hurt him even more and his mood will completely be demolished by me. Rachel and I pulled up, my heart racing inside my chest. I placed two fingers on my wrist, Rachel giving me a weird look.

"What the hell are you doing?" She questioned.

"Checking my pulse. I know I won't have one when I leave this place" Rachel rolled her eyes at me and climbed out of the car, dragging me along with her. She walked in as if she owned the place, yelling 'hello' around the house. Everybody was all together in the living room, having fun and laughing. Colby seemed exceptionally happy, making me hate this situation even more. I had to tell him though. The guilt ate at me.

"Briana! Hellooo!" They greeted me, Rachel sitting amongst them.

"Hey!" I waved. "Uh Colby, outside a minute?" I whispered, motioning outside. He nodded and stood up, fixing the cap that sat backwards on his head. We stepped into the backyard, a lump forming in my throat. All I want him to do is to say that it's okay and we'll work it out but I know that isn't how this is going to go.

"What's up, dipshit?" He joked, smiling ever so innocently at me. My face lifted for a moment but dropped again at the sheer thought of what I was about to tell him.

"Listen, I need to tell you something. It's important" my hands awkwardly played with each other, my palms becoming more clammy and sweating with the anxiety.

"Alright, What is it?" He leant against the wall, his arms crossed and his face cold and serious.

"Brennen and I kissed" I watched his face becoming shocked and then completely fall to sadness. "Colby when I tell you I promise you it meant nothing. It was a moment thing and there's no feelings on either end. I'm so so sorry" I tried my best to make the situation lighter but it got heavier and heavier, the lump in my throat getting bigger.

"I don't really know what to say. Brennen and I-we didn't even" Colby stopped mid sentence, not looking at me. He had one hand covering his mouth.

"I know, I regretted it straight after. I feel so awful"

"This is the thing with you and I" He took a deep breath, exhaling after.

"What?" I choked out. Colby rubbed his eyes, groaning with frustration and fixing his hat on his head.

"We've both equally fucked up now, don't you see?" Colby became more and more strong with his tone of voice, scaring me a little.

"I know but, please just-" I tried to talk, my face filled with worry because I didn't want him to say that we were done.

"You and I don't work! We don't and don't expect me to say what you want to hear because I won't. I can't hurt you like this and you can't hurt me. I can't lie to you" He shook his head slowly, chewing on the corner of his cheek.

"Colby please don't. This can't be us over, we've only begun" My eyes welled up with tears, my voice cracking.

"I'm sorry Briana, I can't right now. You and I have hurt each other and it's dysfunctional" Colby didn't look me in the eye and walked off inside, leaving me to bear the pain of us being over. I burst into tears when nobody was around, letting the emotions I bottled up come out. This can't be the end of the road for us. It just can't.

A/N

Heya its me again. This chapter made me kinda sad but it can only go up from here. I really hope that you're truly enjoying this book. Even though we're coming to the end, I wish it could go on forever. All good books come to an end though. Not that this is remotely good but yeh. I'll see you peoples tomorrow night!