Sparks Return [Completed]

11: The Night I Drew My Last Straw

11: The Night I Drew My Last Straw

Emil's POV

I left my restaurant early because I was putting my anger on my staff and I can't do that. I would be hurting them. I was hurting them by becoming mean... Again. I did that the day after she left me and that was a year ago. Gio came and saw the state I was in earlier. He saw me shouting at a chef for making a mistake and so, he made me go home. I would talk to my employees tomorrow. I went home and here I was at the kitchen sulking.

That's it. She was done with me. It was my end. It was my last straw. She really didn't want me nor see me. I shouted out my frustration as everything that I hoped that I can fix with her was gone.

"Aaaah!" I cried out throwing pans, bowls, glasses and utensils on the floor. Clashing sounds and glasses shattering were heard and I didn't care. I didn't care if they heard me. They might hear those things I threw but they wouldn't hear my broken heart. They won't care. They would just care about the fame they'll get when they see me like this or gather information of what state I'm in. They would also care about Biya. What is she doing right now? What if they knew about what had happened? They might bombard her with questions again and won't leave her until she shuts them down or shut herself down... Fuck! What am I doing? I shouldn't be thinking about her now. I shouldn't care about her when she looked like she doesn't care about me anymore. I have hope to a girl who doesn't want us to be together again. I'm hopeless

"Sir? Are you okay?" I heard the maid say.

"Leave me alone! Go home!" I snapped not wanting anyone to see me like this. I heard her footsteps fading and I slumped down on the floor losing all hope. I just stayed there in silence with a lost soul and a broken heart. She had taken everything from me. Not the materialistic things because she never had asked for anything. I would shower her with gifts and she would appreciate it but what she always appreciated were the littlest things. How she liked to snuggle with me, how she would stay in the kitchen with me as I cook and experiment while she would sit with her book reviewing and open her mouth when I'm done cooking, the way she supports me with everything, defends me then tells me stuff on how to be a better person, how she liked her muffins fresh, how she liked to buy her muffins at her favorite pastry shop, her simple living, her appreciation to the simplest things, her pure heart, her voicing out her affection for me... Shit! I can go on and on. I felt something hot and wet trickle down my cheeks. I never realized that I was crying until I felt it. The memories of her were too much. Good times and bad times, they were precious to me. These were the only things that she had left me. Well, she left me one thing and I gave it to her when I was sure that she was the one. She still is the one for me and I'm not who I am for so long because she's not with me. I can't focus and I have been isolating myself. This is hard. Yeah sure, they would see the glory, wealth, fame, and advantages of being me but they didn't see what I was going through. I was glad they didn't know it though because I could be myself freely and nobody could speculate. I had my own privacy for holding my tongue. However, they did notice that I wasn't usually happy and began to talk about it. I grunted out of frustration of everything I did, hid, and felt. I stood up and grabbed a bottle of wine. I popped it open before I went back to my seat on the floor. I was chugging it down quickly trying to numb the pain I was feeling inside. It hurts so much. I finished the bottle and got up to open another one. I opened it and sat on the floor before I began to drink again.

"My God! Son! What have you done to yourself?" I heard my mom say just as I was finishing the red wine. I looked at her and she had a worried expression on her face. I was putting that on her face lately. I was a disappointment for bringing these kinds of bad emotions to myself, to my mom, to Biya, to the rest of my family, and to others.

"I'm fine, mama." I said.

"What are you thinking?! My goodness! Are you hurt?" She kneeled in front of me and cupped my cheeks.

"Physically? No." I replied and she had a frown on her face. She wiped the tearstains on my cheeks and the new incoming ones. God! Crying is for the weak. I shouldn't be crying. This was the second day I have cried. The first one was when I broke her. When the trust and love we had for each other was broken.

"Oh darling. It's going to be okay." She promised but I knew I wouldn't. Not for a long time. She took the bottle from me and I heard her sigh.

"Come on. Let's get you up and ready for bed." She made me stand up and I complied.

"Why am I not enough?" I asked her as we made it to my bedroom.

"You are more than enough, my son. They haven't seen you fully. The real you! It takes time for people to know you better and understand your talent and reputation. They already love you just by seeing pieces of yourself and that's enough."

"I'm not talking about my fans." I grumbled bitterly. I went to bed and she removed my shoes as if I was still a little kid.

"I can do it myself, mama."

"Yes but you are unsteady." She then made me lie down.

"There. All tucked in. I'll be in the guest room if you need anything, okay?" She began to walk out of the room.

"Okay. Mama?" She stopped and turned to me.

"Yes son?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." She smiled before she closed the door. I never bothered to get up again and change. I just wanted to lie down until the exhaustion would strike me and put me to sleep. However, I cannot. I wondered what she's doing and how she's doing right now. Maybe Ezekiel was taking care of her now. I gripped the sheets tightly. I knew that guy when we've got a social gathering in New York. I saw him with her mom but he didn't know me or have not met me until last night. If only I was there to comfort her and not him. I regretted everything, I did. And I wanted her back for so long but I can't because she would stay at the Moretti's mansion as if it was her shield. It was her shield... from me. Her family was there for her and they didn't even know what had happened to her because she was great at keeping feelings to herself. She would be hurt so much but she wouldn't even tell her sister. Well, she is not her sister by blood but the way they bonded, acted and talked, they are sisters. If she wasn't in the house, she would be studying and I didn't want to disturb her and make her be unfocused because I wanted what's best for her. I wanted for her to achieve her dreams and become a doctor. And now, she was just a few steps away from being one and I wasn't there to support her physically. I still am rooting for her though. I sighed and rolled at the side. I wish I could go back to the night everything went wrong. I searched for the one thing that she left when she walked away. I searched for her engagement ring under my pillow and found it. I looked at it for a very long time. She was mine but I let her slip out of my fingers. I loved her and I never did that to someone until she came. I still do. But things aren't going well to the plan. I planned to settle my life with her but it wouldn't happen now. I have drawn the last straw and I was out of her life. It's my fault. A traitorous tear wet my cheek so I stood up. I wiped it quickly. I'm a man that could take everything that was thrown in my way but I can't take Biya's rejection. I cried again pouring the emotions I can't let people especially my parents see. Holding the ring tightly, I got up and went to the balcony. There, I held the ring up and it glinted as the moonlight hit it. I remember the happiness I felt when she wore this ring. It gave me a hard time picking the perfect one for her and it was worth it when she wore it. However, now that I was looking at it, I just saw it as a real product of my nightmare. A nightmare that held up the truth about us. That we separated. We're not together anymore. Damn it! I should move on. It was over a year now but I still can't let her go. I guess true love won't leave you just like that. I can't control my fucking feelings for her. It was too much. I hate this feeling. In fact, I hate everything! If I'm going to be like this again tomorrow, I'm killing myself!

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