*Jessie*
Yes the doctor had given us some hope but I was slowly losing it the more and more time it toll for Rosie to wake up I was getting impatient as me and Dan sat in the same position we had done for the past few days, him running his fingers up and down my back and humming quietly to me in hope to try and sooth me, ok it worked a bit but how on earth was I meant to be 100% relaxed when Rosie is still lying there. It’s become an actual thing now to just sit and watch her chest rise and fall, and to hear her heart monitor go off at a steady pace. Every time the nurse comes in the check her meds she always sighs at the sight of her she looks so drained so helpless and so I don’t know lifeless and that’s one word I never wanted my girls to be associated with to be honest. The feeling of not being able to help her when she wakes up still pains my chest. She’s one for god sake one year old and helpless most kids her age, like Shaya should be moaning about what they have for breakfast not be lying here being fed through a drip. I want it to be there where she is. Many times since we’ve been here I’ve prayed to myself in hope if I wish for it to be me enough it would happen, stupid I know but it only made me feel worse and of course that hasn’t happened yet because she’s the one still lying there whilst I hold her hand alongside Danny and wait for her to open her eyes up. I was on the verge of giving up on her even waking up I know it’s bad but she hadn’t moved In like two hours and I was starting to think she had got worse again I know I don’t want to think that but It was all my mind was leading me to think…but then something happened something I had been waiting for and Danny had for the past 6/7 days..
Rosie: Mmah
Jessie: Rosie?
I said with the clear sign of disbelief evident in my voice, I felt Dan move quickly and pier over my shoulder…he looked me in the eyes and we both had water in them…
Rosie: Mmah
Danny cleared his throat and spoke up before my voice could even connect with any words.
Danny: Rosie, Rosie open your eyes for Daddy yeah?
She wiggled and became restless she started getting frustrated and I stood up and slammed my hand down on the call for help button, it only took them 30 seconds to get into us. We didn’t even have to explain to them they knew what was happening, my heart was racing and everything around me felt like a blur. The doctor was the one to knock me out of my long winded thoughts and to be honest I'm glad he did i didn’t like the place my head was at.
Doctor: Mr, Mrs O’Donoghue this is very normal she’s settled now she just got a bit stressed because her body tried to do more that her mind was letting her but now the process in her waking up should become a lot more frequently she should be awake in the next half hour maybe before but not much after I'm not sure it’s hard to judge. And when she does wake up she will be dozy she may just stare at you blankly she will call out for you though..
Jessie: thank you, thank you so much for your help in this past week it truly means so much
Danny: yeah thank you without you Rosie may not have made it, we will always be grateful
Doctor: it’s a pleasure and just to let you know your all over the papers, I don’t want to intrude in that part of your life’s but we just thought we’d tell you we’ve hidden all those papers anyway
Jessie: yeah we know my mum told me thank you for that by the way
Doctor: it’s ok honestly bye
Danny: bye
I turn to look at Danny and all my hope has regained it’s like someone was pushing a button within me and it was making my mood change from A to B in 0.3 seconds
Danny: half hour baby that’s all we have to wait
Jessie: ughhh come on Rosie, I just want to get her better and home
Danny: I second that
****
22 minutes had past, yes 22 minutes and I was getting inpatient I was about to speak to Dan but I was cut off with a cry, my eyes darted back round to Rosie to see her little eyes slightly open and tears streaming from then, those are the eyes I've been waiting to see open and I can only imagine how she is feeling Dan had both arms wrapped around me but hand both hands in mine and Rosie’s.
Jessie: Rosie baby calm down for mummy ok?
Rosie: Hurt mummy
Just those two small words broke my heart that thing I had been afraid of just happened in the space of twenty seconds from her waking up. Her calling out and me not being able to do anything about it I felt Dan put his head in my neck for two reasons because he knew I was upset and it upset him as well I could tell by the way he put his face in my neck, it’s a thing I can tell.
Jessie: I know baby but please stay still it will hurt more if you move
Danny: yeah hunnie listen to mummy
Rosie: Hug mummy, Daddy
Danny: baby we can’t your full of wires believe there is nothing more that I want than to hug you right now and I know mummy feels the same
Jessie: we promise when you get a little better ok?
Then she cried and cried and it hurt…like really hurt.
