*Jessie*
so Holly and Glen have left and its just me and the girls im sat here cradaling Shaya and feeding her and Rosie is still sleeping like her daddy loves her sleep Who doesnt Its almost like they can sence something going on because they keep fidgiting and stiring but they are the things that are keeping me from crying my heart out beause half of him is in my arms. after about 50 miniutes the door opens and my mum walks in i look up at her and the tears just fall down like i cant stop them she drops her bag and omes and sits next to me on the bed and cuddles me trying to calm me down....doesnt work though because the only 3 people that lately can calm me down is my girls and Danny but its not like the girls can calm me down i get comfort out of calming them down and Danny hes the one i can trust with my life the one i can tell anything too thw one who kisses every thing better.
Jessie: M-m-m-u-m i c-an-t lose him mum i cant lose him please make this pain go away
Rose: baby he isnt going anywhere he will be okay darlin you just have to stay strong and truat me on this one can you do that?
Jessie: mum he's the one i love the one i have only loved mum what if i lose him what if he doesnt make it what am i going to do mum i cant live without him i really cant.
Rose: Jess i know you love him the way you look at him and the way he looks at you thats why your father gave him permission without a second thought Danny was like 'Steven i would like to ask you to have the permission to marry je' he cute him off with 'YES' and thats what we think of him Jess we love him and he will be okay and we know that you will not have to worry about losing him because he isnt going anywhere ok.
Jessie: Mum this is hard really hard i just want him to be ok the doctor said to me 'This is serious' those words are somthing you dont want to hear and the way he said it was stern and he meant it and then they raced him down and he was gone i didnt even get to say goodbye properly i mean what am i meant to think about that mum my life my soul mate could be taken away from me in seonds why is this hapening to me mum explain?
Rose: Honestly Jess I don't know you always say life is one big test and this is all it is life is testing you because it knows your strong enough to cope with it and you are Jess Danny is not going anywhere.
Jessie: if life is one big test on me then why test Danny test me make something bad happen to me not him why him why Hannah why Dad why mum why
Rose: because Jessie your the one who glues this hole family together your the one who cares for everyone else before yourself your the selfless one
Jessie: mum I cant lose him no I cant what about the twins how can I look at them knowing they are the complete split of me and Danny?
Rose: Jess what did I tell you, you don't have too feel that way because Danny is going to be okay now your sister will be here in a minute because she's getting her results today and we need to be strong for her Danny and the twins can we do that please can you sleep until she's here
Jessie: I cant sleep mum
Rose: you can now give me Shaya and lye down
Jessie: Mum...
Rose: no Jessie sleep
Jessie: fine but wake me up when she's here
Rose: ok
I lye down cuddled into Danny's Jumper and take in his sent after 10 minutes of shuffling around and just think of how my life could change in a blur my man could be taken away in a heartbeat the father of our children could lose there Dad if that was to happen I wouldn't be able to cope with it I would look at our girls and see me and Danny staring back at me and that I couldn't cope with I really couldn't,danny and I are getting married in Just over a month and what if that doesn't happen what happens if when I wake up he's gone what do I tell the girls when they are old enough how can I do without him the answer to all of them is I cant I cant cope without him, I know he felt like this when I nearly died but I mean this is twice twice ive sat here doing the same thing to my self the only difference this time is that I was pregnant with the girls last time....after what feels like and hour im awoken bye the door slamming and my sisters voice saying 'shit' before I show that im awake I decide to listen to what they are sayin.
