Silence in the BAU Office a Spencer Reid love story

Chapter 40 Let Go

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Chapter 40 Let Go

Spencer's POV

Three weeks had passed since Warwick had been reburied and Lea was still grieving. She didn't do much talking and she came to work every once and awhile. She wouldn't work a case because she wasn't clear headed enough but she was getting better. "Hey Pretty boy, is Little Hotch coming back soon?" Morgan asked me. He had given her the nick name after our case in Alaska. In his mind she had proved herself; she could take care of herself and defend us. I just hoped she didn't have to prove herself again to the team because she had told us she was a sociopath.

"I think so, she just needs some time. She really loved him. She thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him," I answered. I thought I was going to have that with Maeve, I knew how she felt. I couldn't imagine though, Maeve was killed in front of me; Warwick took his own life in front of her.

"He really did a number on her uh?" he asked.

"You should talk to her," I replied. I didn't want to cross the line. She kept things close. She opened up a little bit to me, more to Warwick's head stone but she had trusted him. They had a connection deeper than any connection she had made before. I hadn't earned that yet. I was okay with her talking to him, sometimes you just needed to talk to a specific person.

"Reid!" Hotch called from his office. I looked at him before he went back in. I got up from my desk and headed for his office. Once I was in he looked up at me, "Close the door." I turned and did as told. "How is my sister Reid?"

"She hasn't talked to you?" I asked.

"The only person she has spoken to in the office since I had Warwick dug up is you. You're the only person that tried to stop us from digging him up and we should have listened. If we had AJ might still be alive, she would have her chance to grieve for Warwick and not have to deal with this guilt as well."

"She's been doing better. Sir if you don't mind me asking what did you do to keep her from grieving?" I asked.

"I never accepted Warwick, I hated the fact that he was dating her and I let them both know it. I hurt both of them. Many nights she held him as he sobbed because of everything he was going through. He was abused at home and I didn't know how much until recently, he was bullied in school and Leandra was the only person to stand by him. She always stood up for him, no matter what. They both needed someone and they were there for each other. After he died I sent her away, I didn't want her to be around his grave all the time like she is now."

"Where did you send her?" I asked curious.

"I got her a job in New York. She was able to do it, but she worked alone, she made no connections while she was there. She cried a lot and co-workers would say to the boss that called me that she would talk to someone who wasn't there, called him Warlock. She was trying to deal; she almost split into another personality trying to deal with it before they transferred her here. Why the hell she agreed to work on my team after what I did I have no clue. I don't know if she's forgiven me or not. That was seven years ago."

"If you knew her, why send her away?" I asked. I just couldn't get my head around that.

"I wanted to protect her. I forgot that she had been protecting herself and Warwick when Sean and I left for school. She had been defending herself for three years. I'm eight years older than her; Sean is five years older than her. I forget how strong she is. Just don't leave her alone Reid, even if she shouts at you to do so, don't leave her. She needs somebody."

It was strange to hear Hotch talk about his feelings and about his past but he was worried about his sister. "I'll never leave her sir. She is doing better. I just hope that I can have the connection that she had with Warwick with her someday. To love someone that much, I can't imagine."

"I know Reid, I don't think I fully understood the way she felt for him or even came close till I lost Haley. I don't think that even covers it though." To hear that shocked me, what kind of love did she have for him that most people in love couldn't understand? I knew she would always love him, that wouldn't change, but I also knew she was trying to move on.

Leandra's POV

I was out at Warlock's grave, I knew I needed to let go but I missed him and I was angry that I hadn't been able to grieve the way I needed to seven years ago. At this moment it was raining and the temperature was falling. I could see my breath rising in front of me. I leaned up against Warlock's headstone, where I had been all night. I hadn't been able to sleep.

I was walking throough a field to find someone. I didn't know who, I just knew to follow the path. The path led me to an old cabin in the woods that had long been forgotten. Warlock and I used to hang out there. I went in, not knowing what I was looking for, but what greeted me was not what I was expecting. Warlock stood by the fireplace; his back was turned to me. "Warlock?" I asked.

He turned to look at me, "Hey Lil' Red Hot," he said. I ran to him and jumped up into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Oh Warlock," I said tightening my grip on him and burying my face in his neck. "Oh Warlock," I repeated. He held me close and rubbed my back.

"I'm so sorry Lea, I'm sorry. I can't take back what I did to you. I wish I hadn't ended my own life. If I had waited five minutes and just talked to you, maybe we could both be here. Maybe I could be happy. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry," he said putting his face in my neck starting to cry. I started to place kisses all over his face.

"I know babe, I know. I'm not angry with you; I never have been," I replied as he sat down on a couch. "Why are you here babe? I'm glad to see you and everything and I missed you terribly."

"I'm here to talk to you. My dear Lil' Red Hot, you need to move on. I know you're grieving and I took away your chance to be happy with me, but you have a chance with a man on your team. You were telling me about him on my birthday. He seems really nice." I nodded and put my head on his shoulder. "I'm always with you Lea, I never left." I leaned into him even more.

"I miss you so much sweetie," I replied.

"I know babe and I'm sorry. You should be happy, go with the agent. In the next few days, he's going to need you. And remember, I'll always be with you, I'll be watching over you. You should go before you catch a cold. I know in this cabin it's warm and dry but out at the grave it's raining and the temperature is continuing to drop."

"I don't want to leave you," I said moving even closer to him.

"I know, I shouldn't have left you. You needed me as much as I needed you. You never left me, you still stand by me and I'm thankful. Please go and be happy."

"What if I want to stay here with you?" I asked starting to sob.

"You can't darlin', this is a dream, you can't stay here. The longer you try to stay the greater the chance you'll freeze or drown. You have a life to live, go live it."

"Can I talk to you again?" I asked.

"You can talk to me any time in your dreams; you just have to figure out how to contact me." I was on a sofa in an apartment, but it wasn't mine but Eliot was there. I remembered falling asleep at the cemetery. I was wrapped in blankets and beside me, there were some towels and clothes. They weren't mine, they looked like Spencer's. It looked like his apartment.

"Spencer?" I asked sitting up.

"You're awake," he said coming into the room. "Here, let me help you up and show you to the bathroom so you can get dressed." I picked up the clothes on the coffee table and followed him. "Feel free to take a hot shower. Supper will be ready when you're done."

"Thank you, Spencer."