Post Vitam

Chapter 173

A silent knock on his office door shook Shota out of his thoughts as he stared at Izuku's chest, gently rising and falling as he finally slept. Moving without making a sound has always been a skill he's excelled at and yet it felt like even the act of breathing was too loud. Like any moment now his next exhale was going to wake Izuku.

Nevertheless he made for the door so the person behind it wouldn't knock again. He couldn't be mad if it was who he suspected, he called for her earlier. Though he wasn't opposed to expelling any student that dared risk waking Izuku right now. Opening the door revealed he sadly wasn't going to be expelling anyone right now. He really has grown soft since having kids of his own...

Shota's office was located inside the teacher's lounge. Luckily at this time of day it was actually quiet enough that he braved leaving the door to his office open as he stepped out. Just far enough that he could still see Izuku on the sofa.

"Hi Nem" Shota greeted his colleague and friend. He'd asked her earlier to come by when she gets a chance and Izuku hadn't given in. He hated the idea of forcing him to sleep but it was becoming an actual health risk at this point

"Hi Sho, how's the little powerhouse doing?" She asked peering in to see Izuku sleeping. "Still need me?"

"Not right now no, I'll let you know if we do." he faintly smiled at her as his eyes wandered back to Izuku. "Thank you by the way."

"Don't be silly, I'm always here for you and Zashi." She said gently, grabbing his shoulder and then smiling. "Plus what kind of aunt would I be if I didn't help with my nephews now and again?"

Shota tried to brush off her antics like always but he was still reeling from the amount of hurt his son is feeling. Not to mention his other son, he almost lost him. He felt that sharp pain of panic in his chest again. He slid down against the wall, but still made sure he could see Izuku.

Nemuri looked on in concern and sat down in front of him. Shota thought she was going to ask what was wrong, but she didn't. She was simply there so he wasn't alone. He both appreciated and hated that she knew exactly how to help and get him to open up.

"I'm a horrible father Nem..." He finally said, though it was barely audible.

It didn't matter though, she heard and grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it. "We both know what a horrible father is Sho, and that certainly isn't you."

Shota's gaze left Izuku for the first time in a while as he looked at his friend that was as close as he'd imagined a sister could be. He knew she had an abusive asshole for a father when they were growing up, and his childhood certainly wasn't easy either. However it's been years since either of them brought up anything to do with that time. He certainly didn't want to open either of their wounds regarding that though.

"I'm sorry Nem... I- didn't think-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "It's fine Sho, we're adults now. That wasn't even what I was referring to either." She smiled, the light not quite reaching her eyes like normally. Shota could kick himself for what he said. He was confused though as to what she meant then.

"Just look at the kids in your class. We've seen our fair share of shit with students here and there, but never before has basically an entire class had shitty parents or home lives." She clarified with a slight frown.

Shota couldn't argue that, going down the list of his homeroom kids there were very few who didn't suffer at home. Some of them were all too glad when U.A made the dorms. Iida had had such a drive to prove himself worthy of his family name that he had rushed to his death trying to avenge his brother.

Uraraka still feels like it's her job to get her family out of poverty. Kaminari has to deal with a family that never takes him or his dreams seriously. Kirishima is a ball of internalized homophobia and self hatred because of his father. Shoji only has confidence when his scars from abuse are hidden by his face mask. Todoroki had to become a ward of U.A to escape his father. Mineta was so neglected he was on the road to jail just to get someone to notice him. Ryuu had to change his name and become a ward of U.A to escape his psychotic mother...

Then there were his own children, he's been trying so hard to help them heal from their horrible lives before he adopted them. He honestly doesn't even know if anything he's done has helped in the slightest.

"I might not be like any of the shitty parents, but Nem, I certainly feel like I've failed my sons. Sure that might make me better than some random lowlife who happened to create a person, but I don't care about that. I care that both of my sons are still suffering and I have no clue how to help."

Nemuri reached out and wiped a tear he wasn't even aware he had shed. "That is precisely why you are an amazing dad, Sho. You care enough to worry that you aren't doing enough." Shota looked at her directly then.

"I don't think that's ever supposed to fully go away, but you are just one person Sho." She smiled and briefly looked over at Izuku sleeping. "There's a reason the saying of it takes a village gained traction. It's the truth."

"I- i just don't want to burden others with my own failures. You know I've always been like that." Shota chuckled bitterly

"Yes I do, and that is why I'm offering to help. Gods know you'd never willingly ask for it. I'm also calling in Mic" she said and kept on talking seeing the alarm in her friend's face at that.

"You guys are getting married, Sho. They are going to be his kids too you know, he already loves them both. He's practically at Hitoshi's center more than the staff who work there."

It's true, since Hitoshi's been there Mic is there just as much as he is and by the sounds of it he sneaks in a number of visits that Shota isn't even aware of.

"I don't think there's much that even a village can do to convince that boy he's not evil itself incarnate." Shota glanced over in time to see Izuku starting to lightly snore and he couldn't help a fond smile.

"He's learned the harsh truth some lucky seasoned limelight pro's never do. The burden of taking a life, even in self defense or to save others... It's heavy." he finished with a serious look on his face.

"We'll help, Sho." Nemuri reaffirmed with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

Shota sighed and nodded, he had no idea how exactly they were going to make Izuku see that he's worth far more than how he sees himself. At least he wouldn't have to figure it all out alone anymore. He can't expect Izuku to accept help if he himself was going to be as stubborn as he's been about it too. He needs to set an example that he could follow, that needing help isn't a weakness.