Whatever It Takes

Chapter 92 - No One Important

"Running off again?" Steve's voice pulls you out of the trance you were in while you checked over his bike. "Relax Sasha, it was a joke!" He puts his hands up in mock surrender, laughing. "Glad to see you've kept the old girl running."

You stand and watch as he runs his hands over the seat. "What can I say?" You shrug. "I've always had a thing for her." When Steve doesn't answer you begin to feel awkward. "If you want her back..." But he shakes his head.

"No, no, she's yours now." Both of you stand awkwardly silent, neither of you know what to say. While you haphazardly wipe the oil from your hands, Steve sheepishly stuffs his into his coat pockets.

"I'm sorry." Both of you finally break the tension, at the same time; awkwardly laughing it off before you take a step forward. "What are you sorry for Steve?"

"For how I reacted that day," He shrugs. "I mean, I still can't fully understand what happened, but I should have listened..."

"Forget about it," You reach out your hand for him to shake, but he ignores it.

"No. I mean it. We're all dealing with this in different ways. And I should have here to help..."

"Steve," You place a hand on his shoulder. "You were right to be angry with me. Hell, I'm angry at myself." You half laugh when he smiles. "Besides, you've got your own life to live."

"You hate me for walking away though, right?"

"Hate's a little strong," You head back to fixing the bike for your trip upstate. "But you did the right thing."

"Some days I'm not so sure," He kneels beside you, helping you check over the bike. "Am I allowed to ask how you are?" He picks up the rag and wipes some latent oil from the engine.

"I'm getting there," You sigh, knowing that this conversation is going to be much tougher with Tony; psyching yourself up by having this conversation with Steve hadn't been part of the plan. "Thank you, by the way," You nudge him slightly. "For talking to Raynor."

"No problem," He takes over from you, checking the engine. ""I know..." He hesitates but manages to continue. "I know Sam would have normally been your go-to guy but well..."

"Raynor was the next best thing," You feel yourself looking down at the ground, letting Steve completely take over. "I really miss him Steve." He stops what he's doing and looks over at you. "Both of them."

"I miss them too," He wraps an arm around your shoulder and for some reason you rest your head on his. "Can I tell you a secret?" You nod. "Sometimes I wish it had been me, instead of them."

You can't help but let out a little laugh, thinking back on the conversation with Raynor. "I know that feeling," You explain. "But I suppose it wouldn't change anything." You look up at Steve. "They would feel like we do. They'd have been lost without their Captain."

"For all the good I did," He huffs before looking back at you. "They'd have missed you too. I can't imagine either of them being able to cope without you." The two of you sit in silence for a while, contemplating how this world would be if the roles had been reversed. Unsure how long you've sat, you finally pull away and finish work on the bike. "So where you headed anyway?"

You take a deep sigh. "Part of my therapy, according to Raynor. I need to go see Tony." You can feel the discomfort radiate from Steve, but at first he doesn't say anything. "You seem to have finally made it out unscathed, any advice?"

"I would say be honest," He stuffs his hands back in his pockets. "But after your revelation, I'm not sure..."

"Thanks," You rolls your eyes. "Ever so helpful Steve. You could at least wish me luck." Suddenly you feel yourself pulled into a rib crushing hug as Steve laughs into your shoulder.