Whatever It Takes

Chapter 35 - You Don't Want Me?

You wake up still wrapped up in Sam's arms, lifting your eyes slightly to see Sam looking down at you. "Good morning," he smiles, gently brushing hair away from your face as you shift slightly to get comfortable once again; suddenly realising that your now no longer on the couch, but laying in your own bed.

"Morning," you mumble sleepily with a huge smile on your face; resting your head back into his chest.

"You sleep ok?" he asks, running his fingers through your hair. You let out a simple sigh against his chest. "What was that?" he chuckles.

"Yes," you lift your head to look back up at him. "I slept great," you smile, moving over ever so slightly to place a soft kiss to his lips. You feel a little hesitation from him, before he grabs your face and kisses you deeper; making you relive the memory of the night before. While you start to feel those similar feelings from last night surprisingly Sam pulls away, laying his head back on the pillow and sighing. "Are you ok?" you ask, pulling his face back to make him look at you. "Sam?"

"I'm fine," he gives a weak smile. pulling you a little tighter towards him, rubbing your arm. "I'm just probably overthinking."

You run your finger lightly down his face; yours filled with concern. "Talk to me." He sighs, covering his face with his hand; getting frustrated. "Come on Sam, you're freaking me out." He still doesn't answer you, simply staring at the ceiling. Not getting an answer, you pull away from him, attempting to get out of bed before he latches onto your arm.

"Ok, wait." He urges; you lay back down, not as close to him as you were. "It's just..." he pauses, clearly choosing his words carefully. "Last night was amazing." He smiles slightly, you can feel something coming, but you know you're not going to like it.

"But..." You finish his sentence, sensing that this isn't going to go down well.

"But..." He pauses again, you swallow down the desperate need to hit him, and place a hand on his chest.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." He raises your hand to his lips, kissing the inside of your hand, sending electricity throughout your entire body.

"Last night, when I was bringing you through here, when I was laying you in bed." He hesitates once again, this time you can't control it, and give him a little kick under the covers.

"Out with it Wilson!" you snap.

"You said his name." He finally looks at you, eyes pinned to yours to read your reaction. "You said Barnes." Pulling your hand away from him, you start to get out of bed. Embarrassment but also desperation to not get into this conversation right now kicks in. The night before had been one of the best nights of your life, but to find out that even in your subconscious Barnes was still lurking around; not giving your iota of peace. "Don't leave Sasha," Sams voice is a whisper. "Please."

"I need a shower," You storm through to the bathroom, Sam hot on your heels. "No Sam, I'm not ready..."

"Please, just listen to me ok." He grabs you, turning you to face him before putting his hands on your face, gently rubbing the tear that was running down. "It's ok." He kisses your cheek. "I know you can't help it, and I'm fine. I'm not jealous, I'm not mad. And that's what's freaking me out?" He lets out a soft chuckle.

"What?" You don't quite know what he's talking about. All these feelings, all this confusion, it's something that you hadn't been prepared for: ever. Maybe Madame B had been right all those years ago: emotions were a waste of time - all they did was compromise you.

"Look you have to have known how I've felt about you, since the day we met there's been something there." He sighs, pulling you to sit on the edge of your bed. "Last night proves it. But for months now I've always had to come second to Barnes..."