Solangelo Oneshots

Volatile

Nico had always known he was volatile. He was harsh and unpredictable and hard to be around. He frequently said things he didn't mean and meant things he didn't say. He pushed when he wanted to pull and pulled when he should have pushed. It was all a messy jumble of facts and fiction and rationality and emotions in his head.

He'd hated Percy. He'd hated him because he loved him so much. Percy killed his sister. Percy saved their lives. Percy betrayed him. Percy told him the truth. Percy's face made him want to throw up. Percy was gorgeous. Nico tied himself into knots over and over, feeling empty and hurt and overflowing and high.

When it died down, he didn't notice. It was abrupt when he realised that he didn't have so much confliction over the son of Poseidon. He still had plenty but Percy didn't matter so much anymore. He wasn't the end of the world. He was just a guy.

There had been Percys before Percy and there would be Percys after Percy. Every so often, Nico would find someone who was the answer to all his questions. He would worship the ground they walked on, though he got better at stopping the obvious devotion seeping through the cracks in his mask. Eventually, it would stop. It always did. It would die down and he would stop feeling so very intensely. But with the lows went the highs and then there was emptiness. He didn't know how to be without someone.

"Hey!" Will grinned, half jogging over to where Nico sat in the strawberry fields.

Will was another Percy. Only not exactly. Will was another answer but Will knew he was another answer. Hazel had sat him down and lectured him on communication and dependency and obsessions. Then Nico had sat down with Will and parroted it. So Will was an answer but he understood that he was and tried to be as careful with that information as he could be.

"Hi." Nico smiled a little, feeling his whole body lighten. He got very insecure over his relationship with Will but Will knew that and made time for him.

They'd been dating for a few months now. Nico had tried his best to scare Will off but he stayed. Usually, when he tried to scare people away, it was a subconscious way of testing them. Will passed. He was very determined.

Will sat down beside Nico.

"You alright?" He frowned. Nico nodded, kissing Will’s cheek reassuringly.

"I think so."

"The thoughts aren't too bad?"

Nico winced. "Not too bad but they've been acting up. I'm really sorry if I flip out on you."

"It's okay," Will said and he meant it and that was so wonderful. "I've seen you in all sorts of states and I still love you. A little thing like you being scared and lashing out won't drive me away."

Nico groaned. "Yeah but it happens so often. It isn't fair on you."

"Touch?" Will asked, waiting for a nod before he slipped an arm around Nico’s waist. "You are so incredible, Nico. You've also been through a lot. Your brain forgets that you're safe now so it gets really scared and that presents in different ways. That's okay. I can deal with that so long as we talk about it. You're not a bad person for any of it. You're a hurt person. And when you can't find problems your brain tells you the danger is hidden so you look for it. And you can keep looking for it in me but you won't find it. I promise."

Nico nestled into Will’s side. "I love you."

"I love you," Will replied. "Abandonment issues and all. I'm here for you."

He kissed Nico’s head and they stayed in the peaceful quiet.

Safe, Nico thought to himself. He didn't quite believe it and he didn't know if he ever would but he knew Will would remind him everyday. He could do this. Nico was volatile but he was also very determined.

-

A/N

Hey, loves!

I know Will is canonically the one with massive abandonment issues but I've already done a few on him and that so I thought I would do a Nico one. It also makes a lot of sense to me paired with the whole "people want to be your friend you push them away" thing Will said to Nico. One of my long term goals in therapy is to work on my abandonment/attachment issues and a really common thing for me is to push people away. Hurt them before they hurt me type of thing. That reminded me of Nico so here we are.

I will get round to doing requests at some point (I promise). Also a couple of people have expressed interest in a longer Gas Station Pizza AU so let me know if that's something you guys would like and I'll consider it.

Ash x