Solangelo Oneshots

Alone In The World

Sometimes I think I'm alone in the world. Or at least I should be. Most people who know to me end up being affected by my life one way or another and it's generally in a negative way.

I've had a hell of a year and a half. I stepped in front of a car, was an accomplice to manslaughter and my boyfriend is in jail for a crime he definitely committed and I don't know if that's worse than if he was innocent. Or if I could cling onto the hope that he was.

I guess there's only so much you can do to keep going on a good path. If life is determined to get you, it will.

Life has always seemed to be out to get me. My dad left a long time ago. Ma says we're better off and that's probably true. She's strong, my ma, but she's busy and I'm always left trailing after her. She's on tour now. I don't know where. I make it a point to not look into it because she moves around so much that she can't write. When I was little I'd go with her. Now, putting a pin in whichever city she is every day just makes me feel further from her.

I met Nico Di Angelo when I stepped in front of the car I mentioned earlier. I was twenty one and with a head buried in a book. Then I looked up at the street and noticed everything was empty. There were no people, no cars, no noise. I was utterly alone. So I stepped into the road.

That's what I say happened. That's what happened in my head. In reality, I wasn't alone. I was packed like a tuna in between swarms of people and a road that never had a lack of cars. I was studying for exams. I was stressed. I didn't know what was happening. Or maybe I did. Maybe I just didn't care.

Turns out that the car was a Rolls Royce. I didn't know it at the time. I might have laughed if I had. A poor wannabe doctor hit by a billionaire. The rich really are on top of the poor. Okay, that was a bad joke.

In the back of the Rolls Royce was a boy and he accompanied me all the way to the hospital. He stayed there until I woke up. I wasn't badly injured. I broke an arm and was bruised but alive. He stayed with me as I called my ma and left her a voice message telling her what had happened. He introduced himself.

"Nico Di Angelo," he said.

"Will Solace," I said.

He insisted for my number to check on me and that was that. We went on a date a week later and then another and another. We made out a lot, spent a lot of time at each others' apartments and I fell in love. I fell hard.

We were sitting on the couch in his lounge when I told him. Some cartoon was on and we were eating cereal. I'd stayed over for the night. I didn't realise I was staring at him until he asked.

"What is it?"

I didn't realise until I said it. It came from nowhere. Something so awfully mundane sparked something inside me. Perhaps it was the feeling of the ordinary. It wasn't something I knew much about.

"I love you," I said. And he grinned.

"I love you too."

He flung himself across the sofa to kiss me. We could barely kiss through our smiles. When I'm sad, I replay the moment over and over again in my head.

I moved in with him after six months. It was fast but we were ride or die. I was living off a high I'd never had before.

I always loved the mornings together. I'd wake up with him in my arms, make us breakfast and kiss and hug and go to work. Coupley things. The most special things are the things you take for granted. My life was going up.

And then there was a roberry.

Someone broke in through the window. We woke up and went to see what the hell was going on. The robber pointed a gun at us. His eyes were wide and crazed but Nico’s were so calm and steely. The robber took a step backwards towards to stairs, keeping facing us with the gun.

I saw it. I saw the cable stretched right behind him and I looked at Nico and I knew he'd seen it. But he shook his head.

The robber took a step too far back. He tripped. He broke his neck and died. We told the police it was an accident. It was an accident of sorts. But not quite.

The robber was one thing but then came where everything I'd worked for started to unravel. The life I built crumbled before my eyes.

I should have seen it. Maybe I did but just didn't want to. The car incident all over again.

Nico was acting odd. He'd gone to an old high school gathering. He came back pale and withdrawn but I didn't press. I offered him pancakes and watched a movie with him. I thought it had blown over.

He said he was going out one evening. Just for a bit. He kissed me and said he loved me. He held me so tight. It was a goodbye kiss. I think deep down I recognised that.

I was in the flat waiting for him when the call was made.

"Is this Will Solace?" the caller asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"You're Niccolò Di Angelo's first point of contact as his partner."

"I am."

"Could you come to the police station? He's been arrested on the charge of murder."

Murder.

Lots of people are murdered every day. I suppose that makes a lot of people murderers.

When I drove to the police station, I don't think I was feeling. I was just doing. I went in there and waited until they let me see him. We were in a barren room together and he looked strangely stoic.

"I did it," he said.

I didn't reply to that.

"I did it," he repeated. "And I told them I did. I told them the truth. I killed him."

"Killed who?"

Nico hung his head. There wasn't a word that could describe him in that moment. He looked defeated but not an ounce of him spoke regret. He had resigned to his fate and what needed to be done.

"Percy Jackson."

I suppose I'll always be somewhat envious of Percy Jackson. His life meant more to Nico than Nico spending the rest of his life with me. But I understand. I know what happened all those years ago. I can't say I would have done the same thing but I'd have liked to.

"He killed my sister, Will." A tear ran down Nico’s cheek. "My big sister. He let her die. He broke his promise. He broke his goddamn promise!"

Nico buried his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Will. I love you. I'm sorry this is going to hurt us in this way. But I had to do it. I had to do it for her."

"I'll wait," I said. Nico looked up, eyes wild.

"Don't you dare, Solace," he told me. "You live your life. Don't let me stop you doing that."

"You are my life."

"Dammit, Will, I'm not. Your life is so much more than a relationship. You have your own dreams. I've chosen my path. Go find your own."

It's been three months since then. I visit him, I go to work, I try and live life to the best of my abilities. My ma came to visit. I'm looking out on the street as I say this. I don't know what good a voice recording will do. Maybe it'll give me some peace of mind to have it all out and said. Even if no one will hear them.

Outside is full of the bustle of people going about their daily lives.

It's funny how in such a big city you can still be alone.