Adaeze

19

We'd been on the couch for like an hour after the first movie ended and a second one came on.

We didn't talk that much during them. I didn't know what to say. I just sat there awkwardly. I honestly don't think I grasped a single thing that was going on in these movies since she'd been here.

We'd been left alone for a while. My mom and Tatum put the groceries away like an hour ago and left the room. It's literally just me and Adaeze in here. It's stressing me out.

I felt a hand on my arm and looked at her.
She was still watching the tv.
I looked at my forearm and saw it in her hands.
The movie was a thriller. I don't know, maybe she got anxious about it.
"Your skin is very soft." she stated and I looked back at her.
She was looking at my arm and gently rubbing it.
"Your hands are soft." I looked back at the tv.
"Thank you." she giggled.
I feel awkward. Why do I feel awkward?

Maybe I should just be bold like she is. What's the point in being awkward and anxious if she literally has a crush on me and I know? You'd expect that to take the hard part away.
I looked at her.
Her eyes were on the tv again with my arm in her hands.
Never mind, I can't do this.
I looked away again.

I've only been single for six months, what if I'm not ready?
I'm completely over Reagan. But what if it's just too soon?

"Did you eat?" she asked.
"Oh, yea. It was really good. I had two plates and finished it all." I snickered, embarrassed.
"Good. I hoped you'd like it."
"What was the rice again?" I asked and looked at her.
"Jollof."
"Jol..."
"Lof. Jollof." She was staring at my lips.
"Jollof." I repeated.
She smiled while still looking at them. "Yes." Her eyes looked back in mine.
I'm losing my mind.
I think I'm losing my mind.

"You're so pretty." she smiled and held the side of my face.
My heart dropped. "Daisy, you gotta stop talking to me like that. It makes me nervous." I snickered.
"It does?"
"Yea, but it's okay."
"Why would you be nervous?" she asked.
"Because you're like...pretty. And you just say it out of the blue."
"Ah, so you like me."
My eyes widened. "Huh?"
"Well I don't get nervous from people I don't want. Do you?"
"N-..."

"You guys are still in here?" Tatum asked after running down the stairs.
I looked over the couch at him. "What do you want?"
"Can you relax? I'm thirsty." He went into the fridge. "Hey, Adaeze."
"Hi, Tatum!" she looked back and responded.

He grabbed a bottle of water then came over here and sat in the chair. "What're you watchin'?" he asked and looked at the tv.
I sucked my teeth.
"What?" he asked.
"Bro, go back upstairs." I instructed.
"Why? You don't own the living room." he said and reclined the chair.
"I'm gonna fuckin' punch you. Go upstairs."
"Don't feel like it." he shrugged.
I stood up and he rushed out of his seat. "MOM!"
"You're too fucking old to be calling for mom." I insulted.
"Fuck you."

"What, Tatum?!" mom responded.
"Koda keeps trying to hit me!"
"I didn't do anything!" I argued.
I looked up there and saw mom by the balcony looking down on all of us.

"Adaeze, what happened?" she asked.
"Um..." Adaeze looked at both of us.
"Tatum, come up here." mom commanded and I took a sigh of relief.
Tatum sucked his teeth. "Why?!"
"So you can stop bothering your brother."
"Thank you!" I yelled.
"I wasn't doing anything! I just wanted to watch a movie!" Tatum argued.
"We're watching a movie up here. Come on." she stated.
He groaned and sulked on his way upstairs.

"I didn't do anything." I heard him whine to her.
"Yea, I know."
They went into my parents' room.

I sat back on the couch.

"You do not like your brother." Adaeze snickered.
"I just don't trust him when he comes around me and guests. He's always gonna do something weird."
We looked back at the tv and the credits were rolling.
"Well it's over now." she stated.
"Yea..." I sighed.

A hand gently took my face and pulled me to look at her.
"You never answered my question." she stated.
"I'm gonna kiss you." I admitted.
Her eyes widened and she looked at me while smiling.
"If you do that again." I added.
"You like me?" she asked.
"Yea." I responded.
She giggled and let my face free. "You're very cute."
I looked at her lips.

They're so full and perfect. No one should just look like this. Her skin is perfect, her teeth, her lips, her eyes, her body. This is fucking insane. I don't even blame myself for liking her. How was I supposed to not?

"I have to get ready for bed." she stated.
"Yea..."
"We have class together tomorrow, abi?"
"Who?" I asked.
She laughed. "We have class together tomorrow, right?"
"Oh. Yea."
"So I can spend most of my day with you?" she smiled and her hand touched my arm again.
"Yea..." I nodded. "I mean if you want..."
"I want." She got up and started heading towards the stairs. "Goodnight, Koda."
"Goodnight..."

My hands slapped against my face while I slid down and slouched further into the couch.

I don't know why I'm being dramatic. It's obvious she likes me but fuck. What am I supposed to do? I keep treating it like I've never done this before. Why does it feel like I haven't?
Is it because she's black???
I mean...I've never dated a black girl before but she's not the first one I've had a crush on. Maybe like the third. The second had a boyfriend and the first...I was in like middle school. I didn't know how to talk to girls then.
I don't even think I don't know what to do because she's black. I think it's because she's not from here. What if they do stuff differently there? It's been a while since I asked somebody out. Like three or four years.

I groaned. "Fuck..."