My journey to healing

83.

Good evening ladies we heard a low men's voice, and there stood Rafael.
My grandma greeted him warmly as I mumbled a hello.
Can we please talk Kait?
What else can be said?
Please Kait, and he reached out.
We walked together along the coast in silence, greeting someone here and there who passed by.
I'm sorry earlier today Rafael said suddenly.
You don't have to regret your thoughts, you're right about that.
I'm not that Kait I could never play with someone's feelings, especially because I know how it feels.
The whole group of friends knew about Aurora and Giovanni, and no one who said anything.
No they all tried to push me to Steve knowing I had serious feelings for Giovanni.
When we came across you, they pushed me to you too, everything to forget Giovanni.
They all hoped if I had someone that their relationship would be less harsh.
The problem is that their relationship doesn't hurt me as much as the betrayal of my friends.
As hard as it is sometimes, but I prefer truth.
The idea that you might also be involved hurt.
I can assure you that I never let myself be used for things like that.
I have to get away from everyone, call me coward, but I really can't face those people I trusted the most.
And then Steve?
I love him, but not in the way like in a relationship.
If I listen to my feelings it was more because he was the first man to be nice to me, and the first friend I met in New Jersey.
I think I confused gratitude with love.
Yes there was an attraction, but I think it's more physical, and not the whole complete package.
Giovanni was real, I could only think of him, he was the first man who managed to trigger me like this, he is the first man who managed to get the blood from under my nails.
Still, I liked every confrontation with him, and the attention I received from him.
Is that so? I suddenly heard behind me, and there Giovanni stood in his glory.
What does it matter if it is or not? I asked bitterly.
It's too late, you've moved on with another woman, one who looks better, is smarter, and is firmer.
Rory is one of the most caring people I know.
She is a good choice I whispered almost inaudibly.
You pretend you're so ugly said Giovanni with raised eyebrows.
I also decide what I think of myself.'
I'm just going back home, I wish you both a nice evening.
Don't walk away again Kait I heard Giovanni calling, but I walked on stiffly.
Grandma I want to go home tomorrow I said when I came in when I saw her sitting on the couch.
Why baby?
I have to arrange some things, and I think I'm going to visit my parents.
I haven't seen them in a long time, and I miss them I said with a lump in my throat.
Then you should definitely do that dear.
I will arrange someone tomorrow who can take you to mainland said grandma with a smile.
Early the next morning I was ready with my suitcase, and waited for me to be picked up.
When the car arrived, and I saw it was Rafael, I couldn't suppress eye roll.
In silence we drove to the airport, and on the plane we didn't say anything to each other.
The silence was uncomfortable, and I started sliding nervously back and forth.
It's a shame you're already going, Rafael finally said when we were in the air.
I want to get away, far away from everyone, and go traveling.
Alone?
Apparently I don't have anyone, I said sadly.
I don't believe that, they must have meant it right.
Maybe, but for now I don't want to see them.
I'm sorry I reacted so violently to you Kait.
You didn't do anything wrong I mean we are both single, and just followed our instinct.
I shouldn't have given you the feeling that you are cheap.
I don't know if you know you are the second I allowed I said embarrassingly.
The eyes he put up when he heard he was only the second, and the first wher I feel good about.