My journey to healing

79.

It's really fantastic with Steve don't get me wrong, but sometimes I miss something.
Aurora has been more absent lately, and pulled back a bit more.
She is also often on the phone which sometimes annoys the rest.
I suspect she's talking to that man she talked to me about.
Steve can I ask something?
Of course princess.
When are you talking about forbidden love?
I read something about it, but it was not clear what was meant by it.
Ah okay, well forbidden love is, or you fall in love with someone who is already occupied, or sometimes you have bro, or friends code.
What does that mean?
Bro code means you don't go with an ex of your friend, or a woman your buddy has an eye on.
Actually the same with women.
There is an unwritten law that you don't do those kinds of things, and of course the cliché things like teachers older men or younger, bosses.
Ah okay I get it I interrupted him.
I only had more questions than answers now.
We sat together on the beach, and looked at the sea the stars, and the moon standing high in the sky.
This is a nice ending to my vacation, I sighed, and put my head on his shoulders.
There was another fireworks show that we watched from a distance, and the rest of the group had gone there.
I'm happy when I'm finally back home I gave in to Steve.
Being on vacation is fun, but at some point you just want to go home.
Kait I really hope you want to give me/us a chance.
I know I did something that can't be justified, but...
I forgave you that long ago Steve I interrupted him.
I like to hear Kait, but can you also give us a chance?
How should I respond to that? I thought helpless.
I don't want to keep you on a leash Steve, but I just can't answer you right now.
Does it have to do with Giovanni, he suddenly asked.
No I said shaking my head, it has to do with myself.
I just doubt everything after everything that has happened, of myself, my feelings, or what I want in life.
I went from a person who no one accepted, to suddenly having friends, and men who say they like me.
I don't have confidence, and am always afraid that I would be played, but instead I am the one who keeps men on a leash because of my fears.
That's why I'm not going to promise you anything I first have to know for myself what I want or don't want.
I understand, he said without looking at me.
I don't think you understand, because suppose I say yes, and it will be nothing, then I would play you.
Fortunately, you are honest, he said with a sad smile.
Let's not ruin our last moment here Steve, I don't want us to go and think what a shitty vacation.
You're right Kait come on let's look for our friends and join them, he got up, and took me by the hand, and pulled me up.
We walked together to the pier where the fireworks show still going on, and there is a fair.
We mingled with our friends, and had fun with each other for the rest of the evening, and our friends.
The next day we went back, and we all went our own way back home.
I arrived home, and immediately decided to unpack my suitcases, and I let myself be exhausted on the bed for a while, and before I knew it I was in a very deep sleep.