My journey to healing

63.

Our friendship has taken such a dent that I'm afraid it will never be the old again.
I'm very sorry about that, because he was my first friend here in New Jersey.
The doorbell went off, and still when I hear the doorbell I get that anxious feeling.
I first looked through the window, and when I saw Steve standing I sighed and opened the door.
Hi Kait said Steve timid.
Hi Steve I said softly, and let him in.
I screwed up our friendship he began sighing.
We can't turn it back, but we can try to look ahead.
If we linger in the past, our friendship will be stranded.
We sat at the kitchen table and ate in silence.
When Lynn gave birth the child comes to me Steve suddenly said.
What really?
That's great news.
Yes Giovani already said although I can't stand you, the child needs him/her parents, and since Lynn won't see a day of light, the little one has to go to the father.
What?! He wants to deprive everyone involved with you of their freedom, and I think if he had the say in it he would have cleaned everyone up personally.
He saw my big eyes, and began to laugh.
Come on Kait you realize he likes you, don't you?
What?
Everyone realized it, he said with a raised eyebrow.
You like no other should know that I don't have certain life wisdom.
I'm sorry I left you so alone then, and I didn't guide you through your first time.
I feel like an asshole, I just left you to your own devices.
I didn't help you ease the pain.
Your first experience I fucked up he said shaking his head.
Apologies accepted, and for the rest I don't want to talk about that with you anymore, that's quite awkward, and I felt cheeks glowing.
Do you know what Giovani also said?
What did he say?
That I'm the dumbest man on earth, because I let a great woman like you walk, and you know what he's right I'm the dumbest man.
Meanwhile, I felt like a tomato, and tried to hide my face from him.
He is also the dumbest man on earth I murmured incomerably.
What did you say?
Not important.
Kait I don't want to lose you, I know I messed things up, but losing you completely is a torment.
I hugped him, and felt a tear roll down my cheek.
We talked, laughed, and cried together for the rest of the evening.
I was in bed now, and my thought went to Giovani.
Will he think of me too?
Is it really true what Steve told?
So many questions, but without answers.
Both Steve, and Giovani gave me butterflies in my stomach, but if I'm honest it's mainly Giovani.
Should I do something with it?
Should I just forget that he had sex with another woman when he thought I wouldn't find out.
That woman hates me so much that she would have rubbed it in my face at the first opportunity.
I need to think about this carefully before making a decision.
Maybe a holiday would do me good, just alone with my friends without partners.
With that thought I finally fell asleep, and again had a quiet night.
The next day I decided to tell Emma, Aurora, and of course Juuls about my idea, and they were all excited.
Let's go to California, Rorry said suddenly, and everyone seemed to agree.
We started searching the internet, and found a nice house with its own pool in Long Beach near the beach.
In a week the four of us will go to Long Beach, and then decided to go to the city to go shopping for our holiday.
We booked for two weeks, so I have two weeks to think.
We had succeeded in shopping, and decided to eat at the Italian.