My journey to healing

76.

When we got home I quickly went to the shower saying that I wanted to freshen up.
I let the warm rays pass over my body as I tried to control myself.
I decided to lend myself a hand so that I got rid of that longing feeling.
If they had told me that you only want more if you had good sex, I was probably still a virgin now.
Before I was introduced to sex, I didn't suffer from accumulated frustration, which could just play out at any time of the day.
I started touching myself at my most sensitive spot, and getting my pleasure out of it.
Although I had a good orgasm, it's not as good as when it's done, I thought when I came to my orgasm.
I was quite loud, and I really hoped no one heard me.
I got the shock of my life when I opened the bathroom door, and saw Steve staring intensely at me there with almost black eyes.
He ended up on me, and lifted me up like I'm a rag doll.
My towel fell to the floor, and I felt uncomfortable.
I started to wobble back and forth a little awkwardly.
Keep it up, and I'll fuck you on the spot tight now Steve said with a growl.
As if petrified, I sat dead silent.
You can breathe Kait, he whispered.
I knew I had to stop this, but my inner slut seemed to come to life.
Kait I long for you so much he said heavily breathing.
Is this wise? I asked in a sigh.
You drive me crazy Kait, and those sounds from the shower vibrated through my body.
My thought was completely confused.
I want him, but why? Is it lust, or deeper.
I'm not a slut I thought panicked.
That thought brought me back again, and pushed him away from me.
He looked shocked, then I saw the pain in his eyes.
I don't have a chance anymore he whispered.
If you want to go for me I want to do it right
What do you mean he asked with raised eyebrows.
A relationship doesn't start with sex, I want to experience that whole dating time.
I want to experience that a man works for me, and doesn't think I'm immediately throwing my legs open for him because he feels like having sex.
So Steve tell me is it pure lust that drives you, or are you genuinely integrated into me?
I'm sorry Kait I don't want to make you feel like it's all about sex.
I really have feelings for you, and I understand that you long for that.
With big steps he walked out of the room, and I felt disappointment bubbling up.
I dropped on my bed, curled myself up.
I let the tears run free, and literally cried myself to sleep.
After an hour I got a message from Steve if I wanted to come to the beach, because he wanted to talk to me.
When I arrived I saw candles in the shape of a heart, with Steve sticking his hand out to me with a rose in the middle.
I put my hands in front of my face, and walked towards him with tears in my eyes.
I swear I'm a big cry baby, but this time it was more of happiness.
He took mine with his free hand, and pulls me in the heart.
Do you want to take this rose dear Kait, and go on an official date with me tomorrow?
Yes I said with a sob, and put my arms around his neck.
I will do everything I can to make you the happiest woman, he whispered in my ears.
Although I love to put him in the sand now, and make love to him.
I really had to restrain myself.
We were shuffled in the heart, and he looked at me with his most beautiful smile.
You are the sweetest and the most beautiful girl he said to my lips before he pressed a soft kiss on it.