My journey to healing

14.

This must be a joke I murmured.
Is that the reason I was not accepted in this godforsaken city?
You just don't fit here, he said shrugging his shoulders.
I looked at him in disbelief, and then at Grandma staring silently at him.
It was difficult to communicate with you, you almost never spoke, and you behaved strangely with other people around you.
I always tried to connect with people before I behaved so weird, but because people acted weird to me, I began to doubt myself, and I looked at him with narrow eyes.
You never looked at people, and you stuttered, and you always turned red.
And yes, by your parents their choices you were not accepted either, you were seen as a bastard child of your parents, and our parents told us that we were not allowed to deal with you.
I felt the warm water wash away my tears, which I didn't even realise I was letting them out.
This town had been my personal hell, and why because of my parents' choices.
My grandmother had almost been silent the whole conversation, sometimes I saw shame in her eyes, and sometimes I saw pain, and sadness in her eyes.
I felt a little hurt that grandma let all this happen, just for her status.
He surprised me the most when he told me that he always liked me too, but it wasn't allowed, because it wouldn't have been good for his future.
He started bullying me because he didn't want another boy pay attention to me.
I would have preferred to have packed my things, and gone back to New Jersey, but my love for my grandmother, despite everything, did not allow me to.
I was getting ready for the night, but the conversation kept repeating itself through my head.
I decided to smoke a cigarette in the front yard, when I saw a shadow.
Who is there?
Nothing, not at all.
I shrugged, and continued smoking, but the feeling of being watched creeps over me, and my neck hair is standing uptight.
I looked at the time, and decided to call Steve back.
Hi Steve sorry I'm calling so late, was pretty busy today.
No problem princes.
How are you doing?
I had too much information today to process I said with a sigh.
I'm there for you love
I know Steve, and I'm grateful to you for that.
When will you be back? You are being missed
I would stay here for a week, I want to spend some time with my grandma.
I miss you Kait.
I miss you too Stevie boy, and of course also the rest.
You miss me the most, right?
I mean, I'm the sweetest, and the nicest.
The sweetest and the nicest huh, I have to think about that for a while I joked.
I love you too.
I love you Stevie.
See you soon princes.
See you soon baby, and sleep well.
I had finished smoking, and I quickly went back inside.
The feeling that I was being watched didn't let go of me, but tried to put it aside for now.
I quickly responded to my friends apps, and the group app.
I put down the phone and tried to go to sleep.
In the end I was overcome by sleep, and I was in deep sleep.
I woke up startled, and I thought I saw a shadow in the corner I lit up, but saw nothing.
Kait you look lousy grandma told me softly.
Thank you grandma always nice to hear I said with a yawn, and stretched me.
Do you want a cup of coffee child?
That would be nice.
My grandmother placed a cup of coffee in front of me, and sat down opposite me, and looked at me.
Is there anything I asked a bit uncomfortable.
She sighed, and I saw a tear rolling down her cheek.
I shot up and began to comfort my grandmother, which made her cry even harder.
I'm so sorry for everything she whispered.
I have made so many mistakes, and have come up too little for the people who are most dear to me.