Dear John...

Clarity

"So these next three songs to end the night were written right after I did something very stupid in my life. Sign along if you know them."

We quickly start up Come Back to bed. Half way through the song on the bridge I look out into the audience and see Taylor and Emmy dancing in the crowd at the back. This causes me to a few more extra chord than I normally would do until I got my mind back. 

I smile out and sing out the rest of the song. After this song I move straight into Your body is a Wonderland. Throughout the song I look to the back of the room and look into Taylor's eyes. Before I know it, the song is that has become muscle memory is over. I laugh into the microphone, "I guess it's time for the last song. This is Clarity." With that being said, I start up the last song, As the song comes to its final resolution, I see Taylor leaving the main area towards the side where Steve and Tree are both standing to take her backstage. Once the song is over, we say good night and I run off stage. 

When I get off and to the backstage area I see Emmy in Tree's arms and Taylor next to her. I run up to Taylor and pick her up spinning her around, "I have missed you so much Tay." I say hugging her close as I put her feet back on the ground. Once fully planted, I place a kiss on her lips and then her cheek causing her to blush. I then turn to Emmy and reach out to her. "Hey Emmy, How are you doing baby girl?" I ask placing a kiss on her forehead. 

"Dada, dada." She says clapping her hands. I gasp and kiss her head again

"Yeah Emmy, I'm your daddy." I say smiling. "Tay, please tell me you are staying a few days. I might cry if you leave tonight." I say looking into her eyes pleadingly. 

She simply grins, "Well I guess I can stay a few days, but I had planned to stay for the remainder fo your tour. But I guess a few days would be fine." She replies, looking off to the side. 

"Wait, no, you can stay for the remainder of the tour. I would love the company, and-" She places a finger over my mouth. 

"Go do your encore. We can talk after." She says taking Emmy from my grasp causing me to pout. "Go!" she says pushing me towards the stage to which I oblige and go to do the encore. 

Once the last chord of Neon hits we say our goodnights and I run back off stage to see the two people I have bee dying to see in person for weeks. I once again pull them close. 

"You have no clue how much I have missed you both." I say taking Emmy and holding her sleeping body on my hip and grabbing Taylor's hand. 

"Yes I do, I have felt the same way." She replies once we get into the dressing room. "I missed you John. It was weird after you left." 

"How so?" I ask sitting down and pulling Emmy around to my chest.

"I don't know how to explain it. It was like I was missing something." She states looking at Emmy with a smile. 

"Well," I pause, "I'm here now does that make you feel better?" I ask. 

This causes her to laugh, "Yeah John." She stops talking and her eye gloss over like she is thinking of something very deep in her thoughts.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I ask. 

She just shakes her head, "Sorry, I was just thinking about how I took a bad guy and made him good for the weekend." She then pauses, and is thinking to herself taping her  left to the left and right as if keeping a beat. "Wait  a second," she says and pulls out her phone opening up her memo app and recording a snippet of a song. I just remain silent until she is done not wanting to break her train of thought.

Once she is done, I ask her, "You good?"

She simply smiles at me with sparks in her eyes, "Yeah I have a new idea for the next album. Well a album the next one is already planned." She smiles. 

"That's good. How are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm good. I got Scott off my back, and am in the process of recording my next album. Lastly, both Emmy and I get to come spend so time with you." She finishes smiling. 

"Well I can tell you I will enjoy every minute fo that time, because without you my life is pretty boring." I say shrugging. "Anyway, are you staying on my bus? If so, you can take the back bed because you are not take the bunkbeds they are too... crowded." I finish to which she laughs. 

"Yes, I'm coming with you, but no I'm not taking your bed." She states.

I sigh knowing, I'm not going to win. "What if we alternate. You get it one night, I get it the next and we both can be happy." I negotiate. 

"If we do that, why not just share?" She asks with a smirk, taking me off guard.

"You want to sleep with me?" I stupidly ask. She laughs causing me to rethink my question, "Damn it, Do you want to share the bed... That's just as bad." I pause trying to think of how to word this to which she is just laughing. "You did this on purpose, didn't you?" I ask. TO which she simply nods her head. I sigh laughing to myself for falling for it, "Let's share then." I state as we head out to the tour bus. 

"About that I already moved in and might have stolen a few drawers." She says, running ahead of me and onto the bus. I climb on after her, "That's good, less to do now." 

"Oh, I set up Emmy's bed right here," She says taking Emmy and placing her in the bed. 

I smile, "I'm going to shower and change. I'll be out in a few." 

She nods and head to the back room getting clothes and changing. While I head back inside to the bathroom with my pajamas. After a 30 minute shower, I head back out to the bus to find Taylor asleep on the bed on top of the covers as if she was trying to wait for me to come back. I pick her up and place her under the covers climbing in myself and falling to sleep. 

I can say this I finally have my sense of home, my very own sense of clarity.