𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛𝙞𝙚 - 𝙅𝙖𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙃𝙖𝙡𝙚

Bleed Me Dry

There was a strong put of emptiness in his chest as they Swan boys got home. Milo had managed to stop the tears on the way back, but it didn't stop the sadness that filled his chest.
It didn't stop the yearning that he felt.
He reached his room and avoided his bed, it was the last place he and Jasper had relaxed together. There was no point relaxing now.
How could he relax when every thump of his heart felt like a slow death rising to the surface?
He sat at the desk, putting his head in his hands, shutting his eyes. 
Milo knew his Dad wanted to know what had caused him this level of emotion, but it was too raw, there was nothing he wanted to say.
He just wanted to sleep forever, hoping this life would end quickly and he could find Jasper in his next one.
Milo wasn't sure how long he was sat at his desk for, but eventually, Charlie came to his bedroom with an anxious expression on his face.
"Bella's truck is outside, I can't seem to find her, she isn't picking up her cell... did she have plans tonight Miles?" 

Milo slowly turned to look at his father.
Bella.
Within seconds, Milo was out of his seat, throwing on some shoes and grabbing a jacket.
"Milo?" Charlie called out, making way for his son to climb down the ladder.

"I'll call you when I find her," Milo's voice was hoarse, but he grabbed his keys and a flashlight from the kitchen, leaving the house right after.
Edward would've taken Bella to the forest to tell her, Milo knew that, his sister and her boyfriend had a little spot, a meadow.
God... his little sister would now have to go through the same pain he had to.
It was almost as if the most comforting item had been taken away from him, leaving him to dwel uncomfortably for the rest of his life.
There was an ache in his chest, his throat, his stomach, his hands, his skin, that yearned for him. 
Milo had never been in a proper relationship before, he didn't know if it was normal to feel this after a break up before, he just knew that it was a terrible feeling, being left so easily by someone you loved.
The forest was dark, there were noises all around him.
It was dangerous and stupid being out here, nobody could be 100% sure Bella was even here, but it seemed like the sort of place Edward would've taken Bella.
He called out her name, his voice breaking, but silence called back to him.
There was no doubt that if Bella was out here, Edward wouldn't be with her anymore. 
He would've left her in the cold, dark forest alone. 
What a prick.

"Bella!" He called out again, only a bird cooed back.
He didn't want a stupid fucking bird, Milo wanted his sister.
His phone pinged, he checked it, it was Charlie.

Officer Dad:
I've got some friends searching now
Be safe 

Milo felt a little better with that information, but continued to look anyway. 
He wasn't sure where this meadow was, but he knew it existed, he just had to find it. But the forest was so dark, a flashlight didn't help as good as he wanted it to.
Bella wasn't afraid of the dark, but he was more afraid of someone finding her first, someone that didn't know her... someone who just saw a sad girl, all alone.
He had been searching for an hour at this point, Milo heard other people calling out for his sister and looked in another direction to them.
It was better to split up, cover more ground. 
Focusing on something else so challenging was a good distraction from him, there was no reason to pause or dwell in heartbreak whilst his sister was missing.
He climbed over a fallen tree, landing on the other side with a thud, continuing his walking. 
But then he tripped.
Milo fell onto a leaf bed as he turned to see what he had fallen over.
A foot.
In fact, it was foot in brown boots.
Milo scrambled onto his knees and turned properly to see his sister curled up in a ball, sobbing quietly.
"Bella!" He cried, grabbing her and pulling her close to his chest.

"Mi--lll--o," She separated his name as she sobbed, holding onto him as if he would leave too, "They're-- They're-- He's-- Edward's--,"

"I know," Milo soothed her, rubbing her back as he rocked them gently, "I know Bella,"
His heart broke even more for his sister.
They were both suffering through heartbreaks, none of which they deserved but Milo had to worry about his sister now.
She cried into his chest, Milo clenched his jaw, keeping strong for Bella, not allowing himself to cry with her.
She needed someone to hold onto her, make sure she didn't fall.
Bella needed her older brother.
With that thought, Milo pushed down his emotions properly, he couldn't focus on himself, not whilst his sister was in this state.
He grabbed his phone and rang his Dad.

"Any luck?" Charlie panted, clearly he had been rambling to someone before the phonecall.

"I've found her, I-I don't know where we are though," Milo stuttered, looking around in the dark, trying to find something, but there was just trees.

"It's ok, Sam and his friends are out, just start calling out to them," The he paused, swallowing, "Billy said the Cullens left... did--? Did Jasper--? Is that why you're upset?" 
Milo froze, not knowing how to answer. 
Obviously, the answer was a yes, but the answer was also a no.
Milo didn't care that Jasper had left entirely, he cared that the blonde left him because of love.
If it was because of the danger, the fact that he was snogging a literal vampire, the blood, the risks, he would understand it a little more.
But Jasper wanted him, Jasper wanted a forever with Milo in a world where they could just be themselves.
Jasper was scared to love but Milo showed him that it was ok.
It was ok to love people that you loved.
Though clearly that wasn't enough because the blonde boy thought that it was a bad thing.
That loving Milo, his mate, his future, his forever, was a bad thing.
Loving Milo was bad.
It made his blood turn dry, made his body turn cold, made his mind shut down. 
Jasper didn't want to love him anymore.
Jasper didn't want to love me.

"No," Milo shook his head, honestly, ending the conversation before hanging up and starting to yell to the boys who were now looking for both Swan children.

"You're not sad that Jasper left?" Bella asked, her eyes shut as she held a tight grip on her brother, she was freezing so Milo took off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders, leaving him in the cold.
Milo looked down at his sister and smiled slightly, shaking his head. She opened her eyes to see the reaction but shut them right after, a frown forming on her features.

"We're over here!" Milo yelled, seeing flashlights edge closer to them.

"I wanted him to stay," Bella mumbled mindlessly, "I wanted him forever,"
Me too Bella, Milo thought, his world crumbling as he watched his sister start to cry again.

"It's ok," He cradled her, "He'll find you in another life,"
Milo ignored the stinging pain in his chest after he had said that, they were just words, they didn't matter, he tried to tell himself.
Words didn't belong to anyone.
Sam appeared in front of them, one other boy that Milo had never met before following.
It was strange, having another kid his age pull his sister out of his arms and pick her up, walking confidently with her in his arms.
Milo wanted to be the one to hold her, she was his sister.
He ignored it, walking back with them until he saw houses, thats when he sped up, walking onto the soft grass before them.
He saw Jacob, his Dad, Billy, and a few others outside his house.
Jacob tapped Charlie, looking in his direction. 
Charlie walked over but Milo narrowly avoided his Father.
Bella was the priority, help her, he thought, opening his front door and putting the flashlight back in it's place.
When he was about to climb the stairs, he saw Charlie holding Bella and walking through the door, so he stayed, shutting the door behind his father and following them upstairs. 
Charlie mumbled some soft words to his daughter, it's alright... you're safe now... there's your bear... I love you... get some rest...
Milo frowned, taking one last look to his sister before leaving the room and climbing the ladder to his.
He knew Charlie would want to talk to him but Milo was in no mood for talking. 

He got to his room and looked at it for a moment.
Everything had memories, his bed, his wall, his floor, his window seat.
Everything had his name on it.
Though some of it was gone. 
Milo noticed, he looked over the walls of his bedroom, pictures were gone, he looked over to his desk, notes were gone.
He looked to his jewlery stand.
The necklace was gone.
What was the point? Jasper couldn't take the memories, but he wanted to take the things that were physical?
A sudden burst of anger took place of all of Milo's other emotions. 
Those things taken, they were his, how dare Jasper take them all?
Milo walked over to his bed and took off the covers, took off the sheets, the pillows and left them on the floor. If he was even going to sleep tonight, he couldn't smell Jasper on them.
He looked over to the window seat and marched over, throwing the blanket off, throwing the pillows, throwing the seat cover, until there was just a peice of wood.
Everything in his bedroom had memories engraved onto it.
That blue pen, Jasper had it placed between his fingers once, twirling it around as he thought about what to write.
That rug where he had fallen asleep on the phone to Jasper.
That jumper he had worn, the one that made him look human.
That place on the floor, where they had kissed for the first time.
That camera, used to take the picture for the school award assembly.
His name should just as well be scribbled onto the walls untill there was no paint left in sight. It's not like everything was a reminder anyway.

It hurt, it just hurt.
How could you go from saying how much you loved a person, how much that person was yours, showing and making a person feel how much they were loved... to saying that the love that made them both feel alive was a bad thing?
How could he ruin it all?
Milo sat on the floor, his back pressed against the leg of his desk.
What was he to do? He couldn't hunt the vampires down and beg for them to come back.
He wanted to, he would if he could, but he couldn't.
He had to move on. Jasper couldn't be the only person he would love.
Surely.
Milo wiped his eyes, bringing the tears that sat on his cheeks away. 
He wished he was like Bella.
He wished that he never got into trouble.
He wished he never stole that beer.
He wished he never saw past Renée and Phil.
He wished he was dumb and didn't understand their lies.
He wished someone made Officer Dennis arrest him the first time, stopping him from doing anything else.
He wished he loved the warm, loved being tanned and loved sweating.
He wished he loved somebody else.
He wished Jasper was human.
He wished Jasper had never read out that stupid history textbook and continued ignoring him.

Milo couldn't stop the crying now.
He felt robbed of a life that was promised to him.
He wanted it all, he wanted the pain, he wanted the pleasure, he wanted the forever.
He wanted Jasper to hold his hand as he turned into a vampire, he wanted to hear that beautiful Southern drawl talk about all the things they could do as vampires, all the things they'd see, the experiences. 
He just wanted Jasper to talk to him, talk about how he was feeling about love and not keep it all locked up.
Milo felt like he was to blame.
Did he pressure Jasper into their relationship? Did he make Jasper feel like love was a bad thing?
Was it his fault?
The world that he was excited for, the world that he was promised, the world that he was going to die for had been ripped away from him.
It was all a lie.
Jasper took back the promise of forever.
All their 'I'll never leave yous' had been untrue on Jasper's behalf.
Milo would never have left him. 
Jasper's words were true to Milo.
You are mine and I am yours.

The human, because that's all he'll ever be now, got up from the floor and walked over to the blanket that had been pushed off of his bed.
On his way, he looked in the mirror, a flash of red passed through his skin.
He looked, walking up to the reflective glass.
Not only was it Jasper taking things from him, it would now be the world.
It wouldn't take long for the last reminder that Jasper was even real to dissapear.
The hickey, the bite, the love bite, was going to fade.
The last thing that Jasper had given to declare his love that had been too much for him to handle.
Milo shuddered, dropping the blanket and going to sit on the hard wood that was joined to his window.
How was he to sleep in this condition? 
Everything was about the blonde haired boy.
And although Milo was expected to live without him, Jasper would always be apart of his life.