Chapter 64

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What was I made for by Billie Eilish

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real. Just something you paid for.




For the rest of that week my new friend group all sat together at lunch. We were quickly becoming inseparable and comfortable sharing personal things about ourselves with each other. 

I knew almost everything about them in only a week. They knew a lot about me but not the truth about the Hawthornes. I'll tell them at some point but I don't have any interest bringing them up at this point.

Rachel, Hayden and Wyatt all end up sleeping on Maddie and I's dorm floor for half the week. I slowly pry my eyes open only to see everyone else already awake and quietly gossiping. 

"Oh my god Paris. You were there weren't you. Back me up. On Wednesday we walked passed Professor Morden's office and he was having a wank." Wyatt laughs in his thick accent. 

"I don't really know what a 'wank' is but he was jacking off to a photo frame on his wall. We need to know what the photo was." I giggle as I sit up on my bed. 

"No fucking way." Maddie gasps as she throws her pillow at me in shock. "Yes fucking way. We need to somehow get into his office and find the photo." I suggest. 

"You think he has a partner?... I doubt it. He's so fucking boring." Rachel laughs. 

"You guys need to get a comfier floor by the way, my back is so sore." Hayden groans in pain. "Or maybe you could just stop sleeping here every night." I suggest jokingly.

"Well I'm not actually sleeping, Paris. That nightlight you have keeps me up all night." He fires back sarcastically.

"It's not a nightlight!" I yelp defensively. Everyone laughs, "What is it then?" Maddie raises a brow.

"It's an adult flashlight box.." I improvise. Everyone tries to hold their laughter at me but all burst out laughing. "Oh give her a break, she's only sixteen." Rachel scoffs, swatting Maddie's arm.

"I'm almost seventeen." I hug my covers close to my chest. "You're adorable Rooney." Maddie grins.

The boys eventually leave to brush their teeth and shower, giving us time to change. We all showered at night so our hair would dry naturally. 

We don't even bother looking away when we change anymore. 

"Holy shit, Paris!" Maddie gasps in horror, her eyes spotting my scar from where I was shot. "What the hell happened?" She asks.

I quickly rush to put the rest of my clothes on, trying to hide it. "That looked pretty serious." Rachel comments. 

"It's fine, just a minor accident." I shrug. "Looks a little more than a minor accident." Maddie laughs, lifting my shirt up so she can see it again. 

"I was shot like 4 months ago, I'm fine now." I explain. Both of them look shocked. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry, i shouldn't have-" Maddie apologises. I can tell my her tone and facial expressions that she feels terrible.

"No its fine. It's a thing of the past, it doesn't bother me anymore and I'm completely healed." I explain. 

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened? If you're not comfortable telling us it's totally fine, i completely understand." Maddie offers.

"It's a really long and complicated story that I never really told you so I guess I should probably explain all that now. But long story short it was my ex boyfriend who was jealous of the guy he thought was my boyfriend. I got to the hospital in time and it was fine. But then my ex killed himself.. It's actually a really long story. But long story short I survived." 

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