Chapter 21

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Supermarket Flowers By Ed Sheeran

But I know a heart thats been broke is a heart thats been loved...



10 MONTHS PRIOR...

"Pear? You okay?" Avery asks with tear stained cheeks. I look down the piece of stone with my Mothers name carved into it. I nod. 

She was only in her fourties. She had two young daughters. A sixteen year old and a fifteen year old. She was dying. Why? Why was she not higher on the transplant list? It sounds selfish but why did it have to be my Mom who died? Why does someone else get to live?

It hurts. In my heart. I feel like there's a hole in my heart. A hole that will never be filled. My eyes stay fixed on the stone. I wasn't there when she passed. I don't think I'll ever not regret that. I was with Danny and when I got the text saying she wasn't doing too well I ignored it. I stayed in my boyfriends hot tub because I didn't care enough. 

"Hey" Danny's voice sounds from behind me. I turn to face him with a blank face. "I'm so sorry sweetheart" he wraps his arms around me, he expects me to cry but I'm yet to cry in the five days I've spent without her. 

PRESENT...

Grayson had told me he would make me a cup of coffee after I sobbed. I sit at the long dining table, my hands shaking as I wait. My eyes are red and swelled up, my throat is raw and hoarse. 

I look at the blood under my fingernails and red stained hands. I thought I lost my sister tonight. 

"Eiffel Tower?" A voice sounds from the doorway. I look up and see a grinning Jameson. His smile slowly drops when he sees my state. He makes his way towards me and takes a seat beside me.

"What are you doing down here at this time?" He asks softly. I say nothing as I stare at the blood on my shaking hands. He notices and grabs the two hands bundled together and places a kiss on my hands. I gaze into his eyes.

He just watches me with an unknown look in his eyes. He looks up for a moment, I hear footsteps. A mug is placed in front of me. Grayson. He gestures to the door and leaves knowing this is a moment I need with Jameson.

"Mom's dead" I barely say, my voice croaky from the crying. My eyes are glued to the mug. Jameson doesn't know what to say. "Avery could've died" I add. 

"But she didn't" Jameson reminds me firmly. "What difference does it make? Someone clearly want's her dead which means any time now it could happen again. Maybe I'll be there this time instead of you. Maybe they'll miss and hit me. I'd certainly deserve it anyway" I say. 

"Don't say that" Jameson says firmly. I stand up and start walking outside to the pool, he follows. "You've known me all of two months. You don't know anything about me, who are you to say I don't deserve it" I snap back slightly louder, turning to look into the eyes of Jameson Hawthorne. 

"I know you keep hair ties on your wrist all the time just in case. I know you still sleep with a nightlight because your scared of the dark. I know when your concentrating you bite the inside of your lip close your eyes and pace. I know you've been dancing since you were 3. I know you cant tie your shoelaces or whistle. I know your birthday. I know your favourite colour is pink but your scared it makes you basic. I know your a lot smarter than you let on. I know you. So say whatever you want about what could've happened but don't you dare say I don't know you." Jameson blurts.

I gulp a lump in my throat down. My walking stops and I turn slowly to face him. I didn't realise he knew any of that stuff. I blink. I am frozen on the spot. How the hell do I respond to that? He himself looks shocked at his words. 

I walk towards him and kiss him. My hands on his neck. He is frozen for a moment. He pulls away and looks at me, "I kissed Avery" he confesses. My hands retract from his neck. 

My face flushes with embarrassment, I let go of a shaky breath. "When?" I ask. "three hours ago" he admits. "I should go" I say. A tear falls from my eye and slips down my cheek. "Paris" he sighs as I walk away.

"Why? Why would you say all of that and then tell me you kissed my sister" I beg. He looks genuinely upset. 

I watch his face a moment longer before walking away and making my way to my room. 

Its always got to be Avery. 

Avery gets the guy.

Avery gets the money.

Avery gets to have her perfect life while I wreck my life to accommodate hers.

I remove my shirt and pants as I slip into bed only wearing underwear. I wish the world could open up and swallow me. I close my eyes. None of this would be happening if Mom was still here. At least that's what I'm telling myself. 


In the past day there has been five knocks on my door. Avery each and every time. 

Knock.

"I told you I don't want to see you right now!" I yell. "It's Libby" a voice squeaks from outside the door. I think for a moment, "come in" I give in.

She opens the door and I notice Nash standing in the doorway behind her. She comes in and kneels beside my bed. "You have to get up at some point, you've already missed dinner." She speaks softly. I glance at the clock which reads 8:09pm. 

"What happened?" She asks. "I don't want to talk about it" I groan. "Ok well whenever your ready I'll be here, okay?" She smiles tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"I kissed Jameson but he told me that he just kissed Avery" I admit. I glance at Nash Hawthorne thinking he might be more surprised at the mention of his brother.

"And your upset because you like him?" She suggests. "No, I'm mad because I hate her" 

She just sighs. "Do you not think it might be because you like him even the tiniest bit?" She offers. "No. I hate him too. It was stupid. He said all these things about how well he knows me and I didn't know what to do so i kissed him and he pulled away" I say before rolling over so my head is on my pillow facing down. I groan loudly which is muffled by the pillow.

"And you've been in bed since?" I nod, "Get up" she instructs bubbly. I groan. "Up!" She repeats. I get up out of bed in my underwear making Nash's eyebrows rise surprised and his eyes immediately go as far away as they can. 

"Get dressed" Libs throws a sports bra at me followed by gym leggings. I put both on and follow her confused as to what she wants. Nash follows closely behind knowing where she is taking me. 

We reach one room with wooden doors. She opens the doors with a smirk. I look inside. One wall is covered by a mirror and the other three have ballet bars. I smile when i see it. "I didn't know this place had a dance studio" I comment. 

"It didn't" Nash peaks up. "Three weeks ago Jameson requested one was built" 

Three weeks ago. Around the time I told him I used to dance. 

I smile at the thought but quickly drop the smile remembering what happened.


[A/N: thats all for this week. I feel like todays two chapters were so short yet managed to change absolutely everything. Im on chapter 62 on time scale comparing to the book. Something big is coming. Something bigger than this. Something I've been planning since the start of writing this book. I can't wait for you to read it. Don't be a quiet reader. Thank you all so much for all the reads and votes.]

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