MAKNAE [twd] *editing*

【119】

Coughing, I take Glenn's hat off my head to fan out the ashes and smoke around me as I pull myself to my knees.

"Carl?" I ask, receiving no response- then again, it could just be the ringing in my ears stopping my ability to hear correctly.

"Carl!" I call, looking around.

I couldn't see him anywhere, neither running around or on the ground. I take it as a sign that he got away, pulling my bat up in defense as I stand up.

Sewer.. Just make it to the sewer- that was Carl's plan.

I begin walking, only to stop as I hear a voice call out-

"Not that way!"

I turn, keeping my bat up in defense.

"You gotta move, Hana!"

"T?" I mumble to myself.

I start walking in the direction I heard him, only for his voice to suddenly stop. Confused, I look around, beginning to turn right when he calls out again-

"Wrong way!"

Memories of all sorts flow through my mind- Sophia in the woods, Jim's voice when I was running from the Governor, everyone outside those car windows, and Angela inside that room..

Then, Beth's words I'd just told Carl. They were signs. And now I knew what they were signs of.

They were signs that I was doing the wrong thing.

"Move, Hana. You gotta move, it ain't safe here," T-Dog's voice sounds again.

Placing Glenn's hat back on my head, I break into a run toward the sewer hole as the voice stops. When I was at the edge of the street, the manhole nearly in sight, a new voice catches me off guard.

"I'll be at Rick's house. When he shows up, send him my way," Negan orders distantly.

I stumble to a stop, eyes darting around as if I could actually see him through the smoke.

"Hana, it's not the time," T voices.

"This is my chance," I shake my head.

"It's not. You gotta get to safety first."

"Last time I got to safety with your advice, it got you killed," I recall painfully.

"It was my choice, Hana. And you got out of it alive which is what you need to do now. The others are waiting for you down there, you need to be with them."

"I need to protect them by killing him so no one else has to die," I rephrase on instinct.

"What if it gets you killed? You gotta think this through, Hana!"

When I don't move, T wonders, "Do you wanna die?"

"No," I admit, "I don't want to die."

"Then, you have to get where you need to be."

I look around the smoke, stomach churning as I fight with myself and the voice in my head.

"I'm tired of losing chances on him," I whisper, "I'm tired of him getting the upper hand over and over again."

"When the time is right, you'll know it. Until then, you gotta do what's right for now."

I take a step in the direction I heard Negan, grimacing in a longing pain to go after him. 

"Goddammit," I hiss, turning back around and running to the sewer hole.

"Hana!" Carl's voice sighs before he's limping over.