Emotional Suicide || [EDITING]

Chapter 31

I feel in my pockets to make sure its still there . Dont wanna be ruining the day for May .
She wasn't joking when she said she wanted to lay with me .
Its like being with me was the most exciting thing about the whole day .
I dont blame her though , she had a panick attack not so long ago .

We finished off what we had on our plates and started watching a movie which i conveniently picked .
And May loves titanic so she didn't object .

Throughout the movie May occasionally takes stuff from the desert basket while snuggled up to my chest as if begging me to never leave her .
I pretty much watched May rather than the movie the whole time .
Damn it shes so beautiful .

We get to the scene where Jack lets Rose get on the board and tells her his goodbyes .

"You see how u finna let his ass just drown like no no do something dont just let him die ," she sniffles and i can tell she's crying .

"Baby you crying ?" She snuggles more into my chest
"No , but like hows he finna die and leave her that shit scares me ," she sits up.

"Shaw is this still about the movie ? What do you mean it scares you ," i ask wiping away some of her tears .

She takes a deep breath " its you tjay , your the reason i had a panick attack earlier , my mind just cant see a world without you in it , look at Jack and Rose , they didn't want to leave each other but they had to what if -,"

I cut her off " No there is no what if mama , im here im not leaving you, i'd never let anything tear us apart , he left you May i know , you didn't think he would , i watched you make excuses for his sorry ass but he still left you "

"I dont move like that , i been feeling you since we met , your something different from the other hoes , you dont want lil Tjay you wanna be around Tione, you finna try to tell me not to spoil you but im finna spoil you regardless "

"I know all you've ever known is speaking for yourself and defending yourself , but best believe if your with me im finna do allat for you ,"  i stop my speech giving her a chance to speak but she just starts to cry.

"Tione i - you know what when we met that day at the park i wanted you to leave me alone . You were pointing out the obvious thay i didn't want to believe . Just thought you were some gangster tryna fuck a pretty girl , "

" for me to then realize that you were going to be such a huge part of my day to day life is still blowing my mind , i can't sleep before seeing ur goofy texts or hearing your goofy jokes , i live in a house where my parents sleep in seperate bedrooms ,"

" i could never Tjay , the way i feel at ease when you hold me lile theres no other problems in this world , i know you be watching me sleep to make sure im really asleep before you sleep ," she laughs before continuing .

"I dont want a love that will end i dont want a love that will falter,  i want love thats true and pure , i wanna be loved by your dumbass i dont want you to leave me i cant be without you , your my happiness ," she finishes .

"Shaw , trust that i know how to treat a woman.  I grew up without a dad , sometimes i wished that things couldve been different , like he coulda just tried to work it out with my moms but then i look at your parents and im happy he gave us space to live in peace we dont need him anyway ,"

"I wanna treat you how my momma never got to be treated , how your daddy never treated you , i know you were never his princess but you will forever be my queen ," i take out the velvet box from my pocket "Shaw when i said everything i do from now on is for you i meant that shit , this ring is a promise from me to you that i'll never leave you as long as its in my power ,"

"Ive been hurt by hoes like Jasmine before but i still trust that you'd never do me like that , i can't be just a friend shaw , i need all these niggas to back up when they're near you , i need you to be my girl only if you wanna be ,"  i finish waiting for her response 

"You know damn well that i don't talk to any other niggas T , i wanna be with you , so yes im finna be your girl ," she smiles and i slip the ring onto her ring finger .

Do you May take Tjay to be your husband ?  Yes i do .
And you tjay -  yes he does just speed this up .
With this ring i pronounce you Mr and Mrs Merrit .

Not me day dreaming while Tjay puts the ring on me , like its a fucking promise ring calm down .

You see this is how real men do shit . This boy is the reason i belive in love .

"I would kill for you , cry for you , die for you shaw , dont you ever forget that ," he says kissing me more passionately than the peck he gave me back at the hotel . 
And i respond by wrapping my arms around his neck and his hands grip my waist as he pulls us onto the blanket as the kiss heats up and then stops .

"You wanna go back to the hotel ? Its been a long day ? " i ask and he smirks in response getting up to start clearing up our stuff .

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
A/n

Thats a wrap for this very long chapter ladies and maybe gents .
Funny how this couldve been two chapters but i didnt wanna drag it for too long .

This chapter goes out to one of my favourite readers seweacidpactbeeech

What do yall think is coming in the next chapter?

Byeee potatoes 🥔😋