Adoring Ms. Stevens

Chapter 48

Ms. Stevens' POV

   Deena flew in from Key West to see Shiranda in the hospital.

Shiranda's POV

I keep thinking about yesterday.  She kissed me.  She said she cares about me.

I didn't think I would cause such a big deal......  I didn't think anyone would care that much.  Shit, I didn't think anyone was gonna catch me like that.

Her and I haven't brought up the kiss since it happened.  Deena doesn't even know that it happened.

Deena's pissed, but she understands why I did it.  She said she was gonna get me help.

I'm just ready to get out of this stupid hospital.  I wish Ms. Stevens never found me.  I did it for a reason.  I wanted to be numb.  Numb from all the pain and suffering of losing my mom.  I wanted to forget, just for a little while.  But no, she just haaad to go ruin it. 

Ms. Stevens' POV

Just looking at her makes me angry, but it's all I can do.  I feel so many things.  Confusion, anger, pain, relief, sympathy.

I just still can't believe she did this.  And Deena and I didn't even have a clue.

If I would've lost her, I honestly don't know what I would do.  Who would be there to give me sassy remarks?  Who would be there to make dirty jokes?  Who would be there to make me laugh and smile?  Who would be there to cuddle me?

.....

Shiranda's POV

Shayla came to visit me.  She's not exactly happy either.  "Why, Shiranda?  Why?"  She says.

"I've been depressed for a long time, Shayla.  It was bound to happen one day."

"Don't talk like that.  It's your mom, isn't it?"  "Yeah.  Always has been."  "Why didn't you just talk to me?  Do you just not trust me?"

"No, no.  It's nothing like that.  I just.....I wanted to feel something different, y'know?"

"I understand."  "Aurora, Shayla, can y'all leave the room, please?  Just for a moment."  Deena says.

"Yeah, sure."  Ms. Stevens says.  They leave, and as soon as they do, Deena looks at me and speaks.  "Sis, am I not taking care of you well enough?"

"Of course you are, Deena."  "I just feel like I'm not doing my part well enough."

"This has nothing to do with you.  This is my issue.  This was my decision.  You're amazing at what you do.  Don't blame yourself for my choice."

I didn't mean to make Deena feel like it's her fault.  And I didn't mean to make Shayla feel like I don't trust her.  I feel guilty now.