AASRA

Chapter 24

"Teri aakhon ki darkhaast thi kuch waqt ki,
Jab tk hum manzur karte, waqt ne hi shikayat kar di,

Tujhe mangte the hum khuda se,
Kise pata tha humari arzi hi kismat ne namanzur kar di"

(This is original and I have written it 😜)

Naina is pacing here and there in the courtyard thinking. She is getting desperate to talk to Rajveer.

She is stressed because of her growing concern. As it never happened with her before.

She really wanted to talk to someone, specially Rajveer but he is just always busy. Today also he skipped breakfast and leaving, while telling her that he will be late in HQ.

She ran behind him, "Rajveer suniye plz"

He halted while opening the door of his jeep. She placed his hanker chief in his hand. He looked up to her, "thanks Naina"

Naina : hume kuch bat karni thi aapse.

Rajveer looked at her, she is looking stressed. He patted her head, "abhi nai Naina. I need to report to HQ in another half n hour. I am already late. Bad me bat karte hai"

Naina : par...

Rajveer looked at her with pleading eyes, "please Naina"

He drove away and she kept looking. She missed another chance.

Naina can't deal with this thing alone and now in dire need of advice.

She called the only other person who she knew would help her genuinely.

Naina: Hello, kya hum cadet Pooja Ghai se bat kar sakte hai?

Orderly: Vo to abhi training me hongi. Aap sham ko call kijiye panch baje ke bad.

Naina hung up. She is stuck with no other option at hand but to go alone and visit a gynaecologist.
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Doctor: Yes, Mrs Shekhawat. You are pregnant. I can clearly see the baby in the ultrasound but still I will take your blood sample and run the tests.

Naina: Doctor par .... I mean are you sure it's that only? I mean mujhe koi aur symptoms nai hai.

Doctor: every pregnancy is different. So zaruri nai ki sabko same symptoms ho hi ya fir even symptoms ho bhi. Aise bhi you have mentioned that you guys didn't used protection so it's plausible outcome then.

Naina is feeling dizzy now. She held the table to steady herself.

Doctor: are you ok? You came alone?

Naina: I am fine Doctor.

Doctor: I understand Naina. You are really young and it might not be planned. But don't worry. Just take care of yourself. Why don't you come back next week with your husband? We can discuss more on this.

Naina mumbles, "ok"

She took out her water bottle and drank it entirely. Still she is feeling a little dizzy.

She took an auto rickshaw to go back home.

Suddenly her entire world turned upside down. She doesn't understand if she is ready or not. If Rajveer is ready or not. If they are ready or not to be parents when they are not actually partners in true sense!

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Pooja: Congratulations Naina!!! Par thoda jaldi nai hai? I mean jyada time kahan hua tum dono ki shadi ko.

Naina: han yar. Hum bhi vahi soch rahe the

Pooja: tune Rajveer ko bataya?

Naina: ab tak nahi. He is busy apparently.

Pooja: matlab?

Naina: pata nai yar par kuch dino se na he is behaving weirdly. Bahut jyada busy hote hai aur kam ki vajah se out of town rahte hai aksar

Pooja: hmm. Shayad mission ki vajah se he might be stressed out. But this is big Naina. You have to tell him.

Naina: han par kab bataye. I mean I want to tell him when he will absorb this properly. Yar aise hi achanak batane vali bat nai hai na.

Pooja: I think you are overthinking babes. You should tell him baki jo bhi hoga vo to sab tum dono dekh hi loge.

Naina: hmm

Pooja: Naina, you want this baby right?

Naina: I am really nervous par humari zindagi me koi itna khas aane vala hai ye soch kar acha bhi lag rha hai. Mixed feelings ho rahi hai yar.

Pooja: Chal jyada soch mat. Talk to him. Fir sab good feelings hongi

Naina: ok

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Rajveer came back late. Naina was drooping on their dining table waiting for her.

He saw her and went inside to change without asking any noise. He put all the food inside the refrigerator as he can see she didn't ate as well.

After doing everything he came back to put her to bed when he saw her looking at him.

Naina: khana nai khayenge aap?

Rajveer: nai vo man nai hai. Sham ko kuch kha lia tha base me.

He didn't asked about her dinner purposely to close the conversation soon.

He finished the leftover chores while he can see her eyes following him.

While leaving for the bedroom, Naina hold his hand to stop him.

Naina: koi galti ho gai humse?

Rajveer shakes his head in denial without facing her.

Naina: fir aap achanak itna rukhe kyu ho gaye hai humse? Please agar humse koi galti ho gai to hume maaf kar dijiye.

He can feel her voice shaking. He turned to see her eyes drenched in the pool of tears. His heart wretched for her. Unknowingly he is punishing her for his own dilemma.

He sat in front of her, wiping down her tears.

Rajveer: I am sorry Naina. I am stuck in some mess.

Naina looked at him with her innocent eyes, "Ok. Par hum kya kare Rajveer aapki ye berukhi hume andar se tod rahi hai. Humse bardasht nahi ho rha hai"

He hugged her at this. She is suffering for his deeds. He simply took her in his arms and put her to bed.

She tried to say something when Rajveer shushed her.

He patted her to sleep and but couldn't sleep himself today.

He have to choose. He have to decide. She is too pure of a soul, to be with a messed up person like him. Why is he making her suffer?

He is confused and conflicted. On one front he feels responsible for Ritu and on another, he can't see Naina like this.

His heart is bleeding too. He never healed. It's like Naina was a band aid which is torn before the healing was completed.

Now the wound is as fresh as new, with fresh blood oozing out of it.

Once he is sure that Naina is in deep sleep, he came out with a fresh pack of cigarettes. But nothing can be blown from his life now.

Everything is already blown out of proportion and now it's a mist of smoke. He don't know where to go and whom to chose.

But he knew one thing. Whatever he choose, he will leave a piece of his heart behind.

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