AASRA

Chapter 23

tare chale najare chale, tare chale najare chale
sang sang mere woh sare chale
charo taraf ishare chale, kisi ke toh ho jao
oh ho ho khoya khoya chand khula aasman
aankho me sari rat jayegi, tumko bhi kaise nind aayegi
khoya khoya chand

It's a rare Sunday when Rajveer is at home. From past one month every weekend and even during some weekdays he is working out of HQ or not in town.

He again went into his shell. Always on laptop or on phone when at home. Hardly notice what he is eating or drinking.

Naina is observing his change and unlike before she is getting restless. His playfulness is gone and he almost don't speak to her until necessary.

Naveen is also on a secret mission and will be out of touch of some days. Rajveer only told her, when she asked about him.

The only thing which is responsible for her sanity is , his cuddles while sleeping. They haven't been physical from past many days but his touch is still soothing for her.

She leans into him and he also hold her tight. It's like he is taking strength from her. Like a small child he sleeps in her arms tired.

Some nights Naina just keeps looking at his face. It feels like his peace has been stolen. While sleeping also she can make out stress lines on his face. She stroked his face lightly to make him relaxed and he did get relaxed, even while sleeping.

——————————————————————————

Naina is playing old hindi movie songs while doing her chores. Rajveer is sitting on the chair facing their small garden. His eyes are closed and he is smoking.

She has never seen him smoke before. She wants to stop him from doing so, but is feeling like the wall which they broke with so much effort is back on.

She sat besides him silently. She wanted to talk to him about something but don't know how to initiate the topic.

She sat besides him for sometime but Rajveer didn't acknowledged, so she left. She is feeling suffocated due to the second hand smoke and his negligence towards her.

—————————————————————————

Rajveer is feeling so messed up currently. His work is taking most of his time but Ritu's deteriorating condition also kept him on his toes.

Her father is due to come in a month and there is no one here who can handle her. Rajveer initially felt obligated to take care of her.

But now it's changing. Initially he kept his distance. But to deal with her he have to go close to her. He needs to touch her, embrace her or even rub her back to make her relax. This is the only way he knew that she would relax.

Her doctor is also suggesting keeping her at home at this point of time. She told him that Ritu had a small relapse and it would soon pass. He is waiting for Ritu's father to come back.

He has been in Pune for 10 days last month on and off. Always in the pretence of work. Naveen's absence made it easier for him otherwise he would have guessed in a second. Col. Chandra is also occupied and generally traveling for mission purposes so his stint is still undiscovered.

But this month has messed up his mind completely. Ritu is behaving like a scared kitten during her attacks. She is not violent like before but draws herself in a cocoon.

She looks at him so wistfully, so apologetically that it melts him from inside. She never said anything until last night.

Ritu's father came back 3 days back with her new medicines, with which she is feeling much better. They decided to go for a dinner and Ritu's father didn't joined them due to some work.

They are their dinner silently and while dropping her, Ritu asked Rajveer.

Ritu: kuch puch sakti hu Raj?

Rajveer: hmm

Ritu: ye shadi tumne meri sagai ki khabar ke bad ki thi na?

They are already outside her home. Rajveer stopped the car, "it's late Ritu, I think you should go home"

Rajveer is clutching the steering wheel a little more tightly than required, Ritu kept her hand over his.

Both of them went into a eye lock on her touch. Ritu pressed his hand, "I am sorry Raj. I know maine bahut hurt kia hai tumhe. But I know that you will find it in your heart, to forgive me"

Rajveer's eyes are wet with the pain he felt from their past. A lone year dropped out of the corner of his eyes which Ritu wiped gently. She leaned to do so and they kissed gently.

The kiss went on to become feverish soon and her hand went inside his shirt from his top open buttons whereas his hands are moving on her bare waistline.

He is biting her lips as if to punish her for the pain she inflicted on him and she is taking it all. Their touch is speaking on their behalf.

Before things would move any further Ritu got a call from his father. They separated in a haste and Ritu talked to his father.

Rajveer was breathing heavily while realising what he has done. The panic is evident in his face when Ritu cradled his face, "Raj, it's fine. It's not the first time"

Rajveer removed her hands gently, "Ritu, but I am married now"

She looked away on this. She opened the door of the car and leaned on the window from outside, "may be you need to think about this marriage Raj. You can't deny that we still have feelings between us and so how can you be in this relationship? May be it's time you need to sort out your priorities"

She turned to leave and spoke lightly, "I will wait for your decision Raj. This time my wait will not have any conditions"

Rajveer drove away. He can't be there for even one second otherwise he would have relented. Every time she is close it's like he becomes intoxicated, can't resist her.

—————————————————————————

Rajveer is on his third cigarette but his mind is still not clear enough. He is smoking after many months today. But he is not sure of any other method which would get him relief from the chaos in his mind.

From the time he came back from Pune his mind is rewinding the moments spent with Ritu. He is indecisive of everything and everyone.

Life has put him on a difficult path. He is not able to figure out which way to choose. To win or to loose. To love or to be loved. To hold on or to let go.

/* sab Rajveer par bahut gussa hai I know. De do galiyan usko jee bhar ke. But he is like this only, in this story not so sorted, conflicted, troubled and hungry of love.

Vote and comment friends to let me know your thoughts over this update. Also it's compulsory for new update 😈 */