You've Got it Bad

Fifty Three

Perrie's POV

⚠️TW: Mentions sexual abuse and self harm⚠️

I felt soft lips on my forehead, and my eyes fluttered open to see Jade now kissing Jaden's forehead. I'm assuming she was getting ready to go.

"What time is it?" I yawned, bringing her attention back to me.

"Go back to sleep, baby." She whispered, pulling the covers up over Jaden.

When she made her way back to me and tried to pull the covers over me too, I stopped her. I quickly sat up and grabbed her hands.

"Pez—"

"I don't like this anymore, Jade. I don't want you to go by yourself. Can we just go home?" I looked into her eyes and I could see they were swimming with emotions again.

"I'll be fine, baby. Stop worrying so much." She smiled, but it wasn't reassuring at all.

"I will never stop worrying about you, J'adore. Please? Can we just come back another time, just the two of us? So I can be with you." I pleaded.

"I don't ever want to come back here again. I'm here now, so this is it. I'm okay, love. Really." She tried pushing me back into bed, but I wouldn't let her.

"Your eyes tell me different." I whispered, still looking up at her, only just now realizing she was fully dressed.

She didn't say anything at first. I don't think she could. Instead, she just stepped closer, in between my legs, held the back of my head, and softly kissed my forehead again, letting her lips linger this time. As good as that would feel to me any other time, it made me uneasy this time. I know it wasn't, but it felt too much like a goodbye or something.

"Jade, please let us come with you. I don't want you to get hurt." I wrapped my arms around her body and held her tightly, hoping I wouldn't have to let her go.

"I can't do that, love. I'll be fine, they can't hurt me anymore. I'm numb to them."

I shook my head. "It's never that easy, baby. You can say the opposite as much as you want, but that's still your family. Your only family. They can always hurt you."

"This is my only family!" She yelled and it caused me to flinch. "Shit... I'm so sorry, baby. Come here." She pulled me up to stand with her and wrapped her arms tightly around me. "I didn't mean to raise my voice. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. But do you see? That's what I'm talking about right there. You say you're numb to them, but that anger you feel when they're mentioned is an emotion, babe. A strong one. I just don't want you to get somewhere and all of the feelings you've been hiding away hit you at once and there's nobody around to hold you up. Please, don't go by yourself." I pulled back to look into her stormy eyes.

"Perrie, I promise. I'm just going to go and see what she has to say, and then I'll be right back to you. I need you here with him because he cannot come. And I don't want you there either, baby. Not because I don't want you by my side, because I always do. I can't risk them saying anything to you or treating you bad or making you feel bad. I'll admit, anger is one emotion of mine that I'm not good at controlling. It takes over my whole body, and I'm honestly afraid that I'd kill everyone in the room if they said or did something to hurt you. Nobody is going to hurt you, do you understand me? Especially not them. I am not putting you in that situation." She pulled away and went to put her sweater on and I wanted to cry.

"Jade, I—"

"Please, baby. I already hate being away from you. Don't make this harder than it already is." She grabbed her purse and her phone. "Lay back down and get some sleep. It's still early for you. I am going to be okay, I can handle them. I have to go now, love. My Uber is downstairs."